All Of Me (Book 3 of Lastor Series)

Chapter 13: Jude

I sat at the head of the conference table with the members of the board, listening to the team of Presidents report the performances and developments in the strategy we recently implemented for the subsidiaries they were respectively overseeing. They were going on and on about operating budgets, fiscal progress, and redundancies, always taking too much time to explain what should be a straightforward topic of discussion. I grew more agitated and uneasy the more diversions they made. When it reached halfway down the table, I cleared my throat audibly, garnering their attention and stopping Geoffrey Turner as he was about to take the floor and make his report.

"Let's break for lunch and return in an hour," I said, getting to my feet and they all followed suit. "Gentlemen. Ladies."

I nodded curtly and headed to the door, letting Luis open it for me while Keith stepped aside to let me pass. I adjusted my tie, pocketing my hands when I realized my fingers were trembling. Levi stood from his desk when he saw us nearing, opening the door for me. I unbuttoned my jacket as we entered the office and Luis swiftly pulled it off me. Sighing, I laid back on the couch, rubbing my temples while holding out my arm to Luis. He was folding up the sleeve of my shirt when I heard Keith and Levi arguing with someone outside and a moment later, Geoffrey was striding into the room. I shifted to sit, waving a hand at Keith and Levi when they kept trying to block his way.

"Just why exactly did you put me in this position if you aren't even interested in what I have to say or what I've done?" Geoffrey demanded, inexplicably furious.

Despite not having the Lastor name, he had all our qualities. Namely the ego we were infamous for. He and Angel used to drive each other up the wall whenever we spent vacations with Gramps at the same time. I was always left trying to keep the peace between them while Gramps amused himself with their rows, calling them spirited youngsters.

"Was it just politics? Erik wouldn't bend to you so you disposed of him?" He scoffed. "I have worked hard at my career and I was perfectly satisfied living in obscurity before you plucked me out of it. I accepted this position because I respect you as an innovative business mind but I will not be used as a pawn in your power play with the council, Jude. If you're not going to take my work seriously, then I'd rather you replace me with some other willing lap dog."

"Sir, would you like me-" Luis began but I raised a finger, cutting him off.

"I'm sorry," I began, steeling myself to remain composed. "I meant no offense. I'm under doctor's orders not to miss meals, you see."

His brows furrowed slightly and he raked his eyes over me. "So it's true what they've been saying. You're ill."

"It's only known within the council," I said, gesturing at the chair opposite me.

He unbuttoned his jacket, sitting down. "How bad?"

I shook my head, crossing my legs. "Perforated ulcer. I had surgery three weeks ago. There's no sign of long term complications."

"You're not eating?" He raked his eyes over me again, as if searching for evidence. He looked troubled by whatever he found. "You always got overwhelmed whenever we played those war games against Gramps, even though nothing was at stake and it was all done on paper," he said, loosening his tie. "I was no better at it, though it was mostly because I found it boring and wanted to get out of the game quickly. Only Angel bothered to play along with Gramps' silly whims and listen to him drone on all damn day."

"Have you developed sentimentality, Geoff?" I muttered, looking at him indifferently. "Why are you suddenly recalling a childhood anecdote in the middle of a conversation?"

He shook his head in dismay. "It always annoyed me, how every time we played that stupid game, we'd survive longer after each time," he went on, steepling his fingers together. "I just wanted to watch TV and hang out with my friends but Angel would get better at the game every time we played it that it would go on for hours. The first time we beat Gramps, she was maybe thirteen, I think? You remember what she said after we won?"

I lowered my head, remembering that summer. She'd spent the month before we were set to go to Vermont preparing strategies for every possible scenario she could think of. She'd been so sore about always losing to Gramps every time that I even started studying major wars in history so I could help her win. When she finally achieved that first win, I thought she'd be happy or even brag about it but she just cried and told me...

"You don't have to worry now," I mumbled, remembering her gut wrenching words. "I'll kill all your enemies."

He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. "That was when I realized she wasn't just playing at war. Everything on paper was real for her and every time we lost, we really died." He sighed, shaking his head. "And Gramps wasn't playing either. He was training us for war and she understood that. I guess that's why it wasn't a surprise that she managed to rise to power both in and out of the family just two years after that first war she won against Gramps."

I bit my lip, growing irritated by this topic. "I sense there's a point to this. Get to it quickly, please."

"I've made a conscious effort to stay out of family matters, but... there's another one of those silly wars you people like to play at, isn't there?"

I offered faint smile. "You should know it isn't your place to ask such things, Geoff."

He clenched his jaw, a habit he often did whenever he was boiling with rage but was trying to hold his tongue. "You can't keep going like this on your own. You're overwhelmed."

I arched a brow. "I believe Lastor International's overall net profit last year exceeded the year before by three percent."

He scoffed. "You can run this company in your sleep, Jude, but dealing with what happens in the shadows is another thing."

"Brother," I said sharply, locking our eyes together. "Mind yourself."

"Are you and Angel still not talking?"

I gritted my teeth. "How is that relevant to-"

"You two never know what to do with yourselves when you're not together," he cut in. "Did you learn nothing from the last time?"

"This is different!" I snapped. He drew back in surprise and I sighed, rubbing my temple as I gathered back my composure. "She has an agreement with the council. Two years of freedom in exchange for her inheritance and seat. No one in the family is allowed to contact her, otherwise she's entitled to more time."

"She's your right hand," he reasoned. "What is she-"

"She's not," I cut in, clenching my jaw. "She requested to be removed. I wasn't going to force her to her knees."

He drew his head back in shock. "Just what the hell happened between you two?" I shook my head, disregarding the question. He sighed, getting to his feet. "Whatever it is, you need to fix it. Gramps wouldn't want you two to be like this again."

I looked away and he headed to the door. "It should have been you," I said as he was stepping out, bringing my gaze to him. "By all rights, as Uncle Augustus' sole legitimate heir, you ought to be the one sitting as Head and ruling the company instead of being treated as an outsider."

He scoffed, looking wry. "As if they'd let the son of a deserter and a lowly farm hand to even touch the throne. I'm lucky enough I wasn't sent to the Hagens to begin with." He glanced at Luis. "No offense."

"You're not a bastard, Geoff." I leaned back, clasping my hands together. "You're the true heir of the Lastor family. You're entitled to stake your claim to the inheritance you're rightfully owed, be it to the court of law or the council."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Don't try to pass off your responsibilities to me, kid," he spat back. "Talk to little Angel before she loses her mind again. Gramps left her in your care. She's your responsibility."

He walked out of the office and Keith apologized profusely to me as he followed, shutting the door behind him. I sighed, laying back on the couch and closing my eyes.

"What insolence," Luis was saying. "To speak to you as if-"

"I don't care," I cut in, extending my arm. "Just get on with it. My head is pounding."

"Yes, sir."

I listened to him move around the room before coming back to my side. He folded up the sleeve of my shirt and wrapped a tourniquet around my upper arm before rubbing a cotton ball dampened by ethyl alcohol on the nook of my elbow.

The healing stitches on my abdomen was aching again, the irritation making me want to claw at it. Luis was taking his sweet time, doing every f*****g step so f*****g carefully and dragging out the anticipation for relief. I knew why. Even though he wouldn't say it, he hoped I would stop him and I knew every time he pierced my vein with the needle, his respect for me as his master waned just a bit more. I didn't care. I was too exhausted to care.

As he injected the dose of morphine into my blood, I breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed, knowing I could get away from all this even just for a time.

"Wake me in an hour," I said while he tended to my shoes, unlacing them and pulling them off my feet. "Tell Stella I can't make lunch. Send her flowers and something from Tiffany's."

"Yes, sir."

He left me alone while I waited pitifully for my release and when it came... the euphoria brought me to tears. It was like leaving my body, no longer tormented by the pains and suffering of my existence. I wished I never had to return to that wretched existence.

***********

My fingers wouldn't stop shaking again, making it a near impossibility to knot my f*****g bowtie. Frustrated, I tossed it aside and went to the bar cart, pouring myself a glass of scotch and quickly downing it before filling it again. I took a seat on the couch, holding the cold glass against my forehead as it continued to throb.

Luis came before me, holding the bowtie. I wordlessly tilted my head back, letting him fix my collar and easily tie the bow. There was a knock at the door and I waved a hand as I took another sip from my glass. Luis answered it for me and Keith stepped inside.

"The driver is here with Mrs. Lastor, sir," he declared.

I finished my drink and went to the bathroom, gargling mouthwash to rinse out the scent of alcohol from my breath. I went back to the bedroom, slipping my arms through the sleeves of my jacket while Luis held it open for me. We left the penthouse, going down to the lobby of the building and heading to the limo parked at the curb. I pasted a smile on my face as I slid inside, leaning in to kiss Stella's cheek.

"You look beautiful, chérie," I murmured softly.

She pursed her lips, turning her head to face the window. "Thank you."

I frowned, taking her hand. "What's wrong?"

"Not now," she replied in a clipped tone, slipping her hand from my grip and resting it on her belly. "Let's just get through this."

"Are you feeling unwell?" I asked in concern. "We can cancel. No one would-"

"Please," she cut in, her voice hush. "Not now."

I relented and we spent the ride to the hotel where the fundraiser was being held in silence. When we stepped out onto the awaiting red carpet, we smiled for the cameras and walked arm in arm, answering questions from a few reporters regarding the cause the fundraiser was supporting along with questions about Stella's pregnancy and the gender of the baby. Like always, several questions about Angel were thrown in and we just smiled through those, not answering.

We entered the banquet and worked the room, shaking hands and making pleasantries with those we encountered. When a circle of fellow CEOs of other Fortune 500 corporations and several high-powered politicians gathered around us, Stella went with the wives to take a seat at the table, leaving me cradling a flute of champagne that had become lukewarm and pretending to listen to their discussions. Every so often, I provided an off-handed comment and nodded whenever the others did. About an hour of this mind numbing activity, I was finally spared as the host announced dinner would be served.

A server led me to my table and I took a seat beside Stella, feeling guilty when I saw the blatant fake smile on her face that she had mastered over the past year. She didn't deserve to bear with any of this for me.

"We can go home," I said, leaning in so the others at the table couldn't hear. "We've already-"

"Open," she cut in, holding her fork with the seared salmon speared through it beside my lips.

I parted my lips, letting her feed me and she smiled so forcefully that it pained me to see it. The women at our table cooed, teasing us and their husbands. I wanted to get away from them more than ever.

"Tell me what's wrong," I whispered pleadingly. "I can't do anything if you don't tell me."

She didn't respond, clapping and smiling as a singer took the stage to perform. I was losing patience but I decided not to press and just went with the show, spending the rest of the night forcing a smile and pretending to care about the frivolous subjects the people at our table talked about. When it was all over and we were back in the tight confines of the limo, I felt myself getting suffocated by the silence. When we reached our home and she still wasn't speaking, I finally had enough.

"Speak, Stella," I snapped as she was going up the stairs. "Don't punish me without even telling me what sin I committed. It's unfair."

She stopped mid step, standing quietly with her back to me. "I'm sick of this," she finally said. "You think a hundred flowers and expensive gifts can make everything okay. It doesn't. It's insulting that you think it can."

I sighed, pressing my temples. "I'm sorry. The board meeting went on longer than I expected and I couldn't get-"

"I'm not a clingy teenager, Jude!" she spat, whirling around to face me. "I understand you have responsibilities that need to be prioritized. I'm not asking you to revolve your world around me, but being treated decently by my husband isn't an unreasonable expectation, is it?"

"I'm sorry," I repeated, closing my eyes. "I'll try-" At the sound of her letting out a sob, my eyes snapped open and I instinctively ran up the stairs, pulling her in my arms. "Oh, chérie, I'm so sorry," I whispered, pressing her face against my chest. "I'll do better. I won't do this to you again."

"What is happening to you, Jude?" she cried, gripping the lapels of my jacket. "Where have you gone?"

"I'm right here, Stel," I assured her, tightening my arms around her.

She shook her head, crying harder. "You're not the same anymore. Something's wrong. Why won't you talk to me?"

I let out a harsh breath, my heart breaking at the helplessness in her voice. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just struggling with it, being alone."

"You're not alone," she insisted, the way she always did. "I'm here." She lifted her head, holding either side of my face. "Let me be here for you, please."

I wished it were enough, having her. I wished it made me stop hurting. I wished it made me whole. I wished it soothed all my fears and uncertainties. I wished I could share the grief and everything else I carried within me. But no matter how much I tried to live with it, having the other half of me missing was so unbearable.

A pained look appeared on her face as if she knew that she wasn't enough and I hated it. It wasn't her fault. There wasn't anything she lacked. I was just broken, torn apart by the loss of my other half.

"Call her," she whispered, pressing our foreheads together. "Call her and she'll come. I know she will. Just call her."

I shook my head, pulling away from her. "She deserves her own life outside of me."

She let out a breath, dragging me back to her by my jacket. "What about us? What about our life? And Lily's?" She took my hand, pressing my palm against her belly and I screwed my eyes shut when I felt our daughter's kick. "I'm not going to raise this baby alone, Jude. She deserves a father who will be there for her, play with her, protect her, walk her down the aisle one day, and everything else a father should do."

"I'm trying," I whispered back. "I'm doing everything I can."

"You're not." She shook her head. "You're just pretending. I deserve better than that. Lily too."

I broke down, getting on my knees pressing my face against her belly. "I'll do better," I promised. "I'll try harder. Please, just bear with me a bit more. Don't leave me, chérie."

She grasped either side of my head, making me look up at her. "I love you. I just want to be here for you but you have to let me in. You can't carry everything on your own. Let me help, even if it's just to listen."

I grasped the backs of her thighs. "I can't. It's a council matter. Can you accept that? Please?"

She pursed her lips, letting me go. "I can, but it hurts and I don't know how much longer I can stand it."

"Stella..."

"Sir," I heard Luis call from the banister. "Pardon me, but there's an urgent matter."

"I don't care!" I snapped. "Leave us!"

"No," Stella said, wiping her face. "Take care of it."

"No, no," I said frantically, holding onto her. "This matters more. You're the only thing matters."

"It's fine, Jude," she said firmly, pulling her arms away when I tried to take them. "I understand. I accept it." She walked past me, heading up the stairs. "Don't wake me if you come to bed. I'm tired."

"Sir," Luis called again. "I'm so sorry but-"

"What?!" I snarled in frustration. "I am in my home, Luis! Can't I be spared from all this bullshit when I'm home with my wife?"

He lowered his head. "I'm truly sorry but... but Lord Robert, Prince Dieter, Sir Damien, Sir Maximus, Sir Henry, and Lady Margot are at the gate and requesting entry."

I stared at him in numbed confusion, sitting limply on the step. Realizing what was happening, I started laughing, fresh tears stinging the edges of my eyes. The Gods had heard my pleas and finally taken pity on me, have they?

Luis lifted his head slightly to look at me, his usual composed appearance shaken by visible panic. "What shall I do, sir?"

I pushed my hair back, chuckling as I rose to my feet. "Welcome them, of course."

He looked behind him, at Levi who spoke into his radio. I went to stand at the door, watching the convoy of sedans come up the drive way. In near perfect unison, the drivers stepped out and opened the backseats of their cars, and my so called family came out along with their respective Hagen aides. They walked up the front steps with Lord Robert leading the fray.

"Thank you for seeing us on such short notice," he said, mustering up a blank smile.

I slipped off my bowtie, eyeing each one of them with disdain. "I couldn't needlessly turn away six Upper Ten, could I?" I said flatly, pocketing my hands. "But my wife is sleeping and I don't want her disturbed. State your business and go."

"Maybe it's best if we discuss this inside, Jude," Lord Robert offered.

I sighed, taking the single step between us and leaning down to be at eye level with him. "There's nothing to discuss, Robert," I replied calmly. "We all know what you came here for. Declare it and it will be acknowledged."

He swallowed, squaring his shoulders. "Very well." He reached into his jacket, taking out a piece of paper. "I, Robert Isak Hargrave-Lastor, in my authority as second seat, declare a motion of no confidence in your current administration and request a vote for your impeachment." He pressed the paper to my chest. "In the document, you will find that all the terms for such a vote has been met and, in addition, I am accompanied by-"

"Motion is ratified and request for a vote is granted," I interjected swiftly, taking the paper and turning around to head back inside. "Luis, summon the rest of the council for an emergency meeting tomorrow. Brief them of the purpose."

"Yes, sir," he promptly replied.

"Tomorrow?" I heard Damien protest.

I looked back to them, raising a brow. "What? You had a year to prepare. I assumed you've acquired the necessary support and made the proper arrangements for all possible outcomes." Damien faltered briefly and I c****d my head to the side, eyeing him inquisitively. "Have you not?"

"Tomorrow is generous," Lord Robert interjected, bowing his head lightly. "Thank you for your time."

I headed up the stairs, my heart beating wildly in my chest as I hurried to the bedroom. Stella wasn't in bed and I heard the sound of water splashing in the bathroom. I rushed in, finding her laying in the tub and I wordlessly got in, parting her legs and settling myself between them as I embraced her.

"Jude, what-"

"It's over," I whispered, laughing and crying as I buried my face in her neck. "They're taking it away."

"What are you talking about?" she asked in confusion.

I drew back, holding either side of her head. "Just now... the council... they want me to step down," I said, smiling.

She frowned, still apparently bemused. "What do you mean? What's going to happen to you?"

"I don't have to fight anymore," I answered in relief, sighing as I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against hers. "It's over. I can rest now."

"What does that mean?" she pressed.

I kissed her, wanting to savor these last moments I had with her until my eventual execution came once tomorrow's ruling passed. After all, there was no such thing as two living Heads.