All Of Me (Book 3 of Lastor Series)

Chapter 2

I stared out the window as the plane passed endless white clouds, tapping my fingers against the table along the music playing on my phone. I caught a flaw in the flow of the rhythm and gripped my pencil, writing the correction on the sheet while keeping my eyes on the sky. I rewinded the piece a few beats and inwardly played the correction over the existing flaw, letting the piece carry on until it finished. I read through the music sheet, tapping my fingers on the table to play them out. It didn't sound right. It felt... pretentious and forced.

I crumpled the sheets into a ball, tossing them to the floor along with the rest of the sheets I discarded. I was about to play the piece over again but Georgiana, the brat, snatched the phone away.

"I swear to all that is holy, if you play it again, I will throw myself out of this plane," she bit out.

I rolled my eyes, tossing my pencil aside and leaning back. "The damn thing is garbage whatever I do with it, anyway." I looked back out the window, leaning my head against it. "How infuriating."

"You know, when you agreed to be my mentor, I was ecstatic," she went on. "Learning from one of the greatest minds to have been borne in our family, it was a dream come true. But you're more mad than brilliant, I've realized."

"Then go away already," I muttered, shifting to lean on my side and pulling my legs to my chest.

"Unfortunately, it's too late for me to find another mentor. If I don't produce any phenomenal achievements by the end of the year, Master Jude will strip me of my seat and make me go back to training. So will you-"

I swung my arm towards her, snapping my fingers. "What did I say?" I said softly, turning my head to look at her. "Don't mention him or anything relating to the family."

She swallowed hard, looking at my fingers as if they could cut her throat. "I'm sorry. It slipped out."

I sighed, bringing my arm back and tucking my hands underneath the side of my face. "You're too eager, Gia," I said in boredom. "That's all well and good, but eagerness is only effective if you put work behind it."

"I am willing to work, but you won't let me," she insisted.

"Because I see no use in you. Why should I use something useless?"

She slammed her fists on the table. "Then tell me how to be useful. That's why I'm here."

I cracked a smile, chuckling lightly. "You don't ask how to be useful. You show it and people take notice. That's how I did it."

"Well, forgive me, but I am not you," she spat back. "You can't expect me to build myself into something if you don't give me any idea how."

I tilted my head back, looking at her. "I was a deranged fifteen year old with a growing drug addiction and alcohol dependency when I started building myself. Are you saying you have it worse?"

She pursed her lips. "No, that isn't what-"

I pulled myself up on the table, kneeling on it and grasping either side of her head. "Rome ne fut pas faite toute en un jour," I murmured softly, reaching behind her head and tugging her hair loose from the tight bun she constantly put it up in. "You won't be useful for a long time, make peace with that and lay bricks properly, and steadily." I tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, smiling. "Eventually, you will have your empire."

She averted her gaze, pushing away my arms and standing. "Spare me the eccentricity. It's redundant. My father has been using that trick on me since I was a child." She glared down at me. "I'm not a child, Angel. Stop treating me like one."

She walked off, stomping her way to the rest room and slamming the door like an angsty brat. I sighed, sitting back on my heels and looking over at Katrina as she sat across the aisle.

"Was I that annoyingly eager when I started?" I asked.

"You were more violent than annoying in your eagerness," she muttered flatly, her attention focused on the screen of her computer.

I snorted, reaching down Georgiana's seat for my phone. "I think she'll break soon though."

"Merciless as ever, Miss Lastor."

I smiled, pressing play on my piece. "Perfection is absolute, Gramps used to say that whenever I did things perfectly but he meant it as a reprimand, not a praise. It used to piss me off because I could never understand what was wrong with perfection and he wouldn't tell me either. All I knew was that it's the ideal I was taught and pressured into achieving by Father. Perfection was the only acceptable disposition, but I look at her and now, I see." I lifted my head, looking out the window. "Perfection is absolute in its destruction once you can no longer sustain it."

I closed my eyes, listening to the piece. It was so empty and meaningless. I couldn't sense any intention in the music. There was no reason for its notes. They were just a pleasing harmony of melodies but other than that, they didn't carry a single emotion. My instincts bid me to embed myself into it, to release everything I carried and make a masterpiece out of the loss but I didn't know how.

"Ah, brother, how can I be rid of you when you are half of me?" I whispered in agony.

**********

I watched the waves crashing against the walls of the port below me, my body bristling as it yearned to be enveloped by the freezing cold water. I unraveled the belt of my coat and was about to strip it off when I felt the right sleeve get pulled tight around my arm. I looked over my shoulder, finding Katrina standing behind me.

"Frederick was very insistent that you shouldn't swim in any body of flowing water."

"No, he said I can't stay underwater too long," I corrected, pulling at my sleeve. "Swimming is good for me."

"Not at this temperature. You'll die, Miss Lastor," she said, turning and dragging me behind her. "You can swim in the pool back at the hotel. I'll arrange for it to be reserved for you."

I wrinkled my nose. "You've gotten really mean to me, you know."

She sighed, loosening her grip on my sleeve. "I've decided I will no longer stand aside and watch you repeatedly put yourself at risk of death."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not suicidal. God, Kat, how morbid do you think I am?"

"I know you're not suicidal, but you're bored, which is worse." She pulled me closer, holding out a stack of folders. "The references regarding the topic of discussion for the meeting. I've highlighted all the significant details."

I sighed, taking the folders and reading through the first one. "What is even the point? All of this is useless anyway." I pulled my sleeve free from her grip, walking ahead of her. "Let's just get this s**t over with."

I caught up with the Artie and Georgiana who were following Zhuang along the aisle of crates. Georgiana and Zhuang were speaking with each other in fluent Cantonese, seemingly joking around as they laughed. I caught a few sentences but my grasp on the language was too light and I got lost when they diverted into deeper words.

"So she can be useful," I said to Artie as we followed behind them.

"One can never underestimate a Lastor's ego," he quipped.

"We do love to flaunt it out of spite," I muttered wryly, handing Katrina a finished file. "Gia, tell him everything looks good and I'm very pleased." She nodded, repeating my words. "Continue developing a relationship with the relevant officials. Keep them happy but on a leash. No unnecessary force though."

They conversed for a moment and she voiced out Zhuang's side in his behalf. Once we cleared the inspections of the port, we headed to the hotel for a sit-down meeting. We discussed costs and profits for the quarter along with new clients I acquired in the African regions. Afterwards, he invited us to dinner at the hotel which he had provided for us and we were entertained by a roster of performers. He was always too hospitable for my anxiety to bear.

"You know, in Chinese etiquette, it's rude to pick through a dish for a desirable piece when in a communal setting," I said to Georgiana as she sat beside me. "Take the one closest to you."

She stiffened, picking off a random piece of meat and looking at it in dismay. "I don't like pork fat."

I chuckled, taking a sip of my water. "I wasn't aware you'd already mastered Cantonese. Didn't you just start taking lessons last year?"

Her brows furrowed. "How do you get this stuff?" I shrugged. She rolled her eyes, cutting off the fat from the slice of pork. "You've been doing a lot of business in South-Central China lately so I thought it would be necessary to learn the language quickly."

I gave her an odd look. "What is it about me that you, your father, and sister are so obsessed with?"

She shrugged. "You're impressive from an outsider's perspective."

I laughed. "And from an insider?"

She pursed her lips, chewing her food and swallowing before speaking, "Exhausting."

I tilted my head. "How so?"

"You and Dad have the same tendency to be... odd, but with him it's on purpose. You... well, I'm starting to think it's just how you are and it's exhausting being confused by you."

"Ah." I nodded. "Yeah, people keep saying that. I don't really get what's so confusing about me. I'm not some puzzling labyrinth or a mysterious concept out of your reach." I paused, thinking for a moment as I stared at my plate, drawing circles on it with my chopstick. "I've never really had a full understanding of my identity but the pieces of myself that I do understand, I have struggled with. It overwhelms me sometimes, trying to reconcile with myself and put the pieces back together so I can function better. I guess the easiest way to define me is... damaged." I looked back at her. "Maybe once I've fixed all the damages, I don't have to be a confusing person or an incomprehensible idea anymore. Do you think so?" She had tears in her eyes and I flinched. "s**t. What is that? Why are you doing that? Stop it."

"I'm sorry," she said, quickly turning away and wiping her eyes.

I clenched my jaw. "Gia, what you know about me, I don't want sympathy for it. If you f*****g pity me again, I swear, I'll hit you."

She nodded, keeping her head down. "I'm sorry."

"Don't f*****g apologize either." I sighed, rubbing my forehead. "f**k my brother. Ruining my reputation like this. What an asshole."

She lifted her gaze, looking up at me. "He should have disclosed it sooner." I glared at her. She didn't cower. "If it had been anyone else. Any other child. Would you have done something to make it stop? Of course you would, because no child should go through what you did. Even the bastards in our family aren't put through half the torture you were and I am not pitying you, I am angry for you. So is your brother, I'm sure."

I sighed, bringing my attention to the dancers performing on stage. "How is he?" I caught Artie's assistant approach the table, coming to his side and whispering in his ear. Artie nodded, standing and excusing himself. "He doing good being king and all?"

Georgiana pursed her lips, looking hesitant. "Angel, I don't mean to offend you, but I can't discuss council matters with you."

I snickered. "Okay, first of all, I can get intel on my own," I muttered, watching Artie go stand in a corner as he spoke on his phone. He seemed distressed. "Second, I didn't give a s**t about council matters when I was in it, even less now that I'm not." I glanced at Katrina across the table, catching her eye and c*****g my head towards Artie. She stood, going to him. "Third, I just meant who took my place. All Lastors are privy to that, yeah?"

"Oh, yes. That's true," Georgiana mumbled. "Well, my grandfather took your seat and my father took his. There was a lot of conflict for a while over the fourth seat and-"

"No, I don't give a s**t about the ranks either," I cut in, watching Artie and Katrina intently. Panic was subtly slipping through their composure. "Who's his right hand?"

"No one. A few have tried to gain his favor but he hasn't taken any of them."

I clicked my tongue against my teeth, shaking my head. "He's going to lose a lot if he doesn't take someone soon, especially with his kid coming." I reached over the table, snatching a piece of chicken from a platter and tossing it in my mouth. "He should consider Geoffrey Turner. He's from the lowest branch of the family but I see that as a redeeming quality. He's obsessed with being superior to the true heirs and since he has no right to an inheritance or a seat in the council, he doesn't benefit in conspiring against Jude."

"Actually, Geoffrey Turner was recently made President of Lastor Pharma by Master Jude," she commented.

I arched a brow. "Yeah? Well, bribery doesn't work on that guy. I tried when I was looking to recruit him into my team. Promised him the world and all but he turned me down. Said he didn't like the way I do things." I caught Katrina take out her phone while Artie was heading out of the restaurant. "He's always been an uppity asshole, that guy. He and Jude would work well together."

"I think he's waiting for you to come back," Georgiana said hesitantly.

I smiled at Zhuang when he turned to look at me, seemingly wondering what was happening. "Even when I do, I won't return to him."

"Why not? You should. Of all the heirs, you're the only logical choice. Anyone else is just degrading for him, and the family."

I clapped as the dancers finished their routine. "Well, that's true but Jude's an unworthy master for me as he is now." I reached for my glass, taking a sip of water. "What seat do you hold again?"

"I, uh, I'm still the thirty-first," she said shamefully.

"You didn't take part in the wars?"

She shook her head. "I only observed. I prefer to learn before taking part in something."

I snorted. "You pussied out, didn't you?"

She pursed her lips. "Simone, my sister, tells me stories about the wars in the council she takes part in for Dad so I was aware of how... gruesome, it can be, but it's different when I'm actually seeing it first-hand."

"It's like trial by inferno, yeah?" I said in wry amusement. "After I was elected into the council, I staked my claim to every seat ahead of me and went to war with them. Gramps was still Head then and he got sick of me wreaking havoc in the council that he banned me from challenging another seat. I got up to fifteenth by the time I was stopped. It was so much fun."

"Yeah, I've heard the stories," she muttered dryly. "Everyone calls it The Bloody Year."

"Those were good times," I mumbled, watching Katrina head out of the restaurant. "We, the third generation, were all just starting to come of age and slowly filling the ranks. Back then, everyone in the twenties was out to kill and the Lower Ten were constantly being dragged down. One week you're the twelfth seat, the next you're barely hanging onto the thirtieth. These days, wars are fought in conference rooms and there's barely any blood being shed." I shook my head, emptying my glass. "It started when my father became Head. His policy was perfection and if anyone did something to sully the family name, they were basically at risk of disownment or execution. But in Gramps' time?" I let out a whistle. "You can get away with anything. The incompetent f**k didn't give a s**t as long as we kept things from spilling over the surface and affecting innocents."

"My father speaks highly of him," Georgiana mumbled in dismay. "And I remember him to be a very kind man. He always doted on me whenever I stayed with him."

"Exactly. He was too kind," I said with a sigh, clapping with the other patrons when a band came up on stage. "He shouldn't have been the Head but he was the firstborn and his siblings were all looking to him to lead them. If he didn't have Johanna and Reggie, the family wouldn't have lasted till my father took over."

"Anthony wasn't your grandfather's firstborn, right?" she said, frowning. "It was... Augustus?"

"Yeah."

"What happened to him?"

I shrugged. "It was before my time and I've only heard snippets of the whole story. Gramps forbade speaking of Augustus but the story goes that he deserted. There's also a different story that claims he was disowned and exiled. And another one that says he was executed." I picked off a piece of potato from my bowl of soup, tossing it in my mouth. "All I really know for sure is that whatever happened to him led to Timothy taking my father from Gramps and Gammy."

"Is that why Anthony was... like that?"

"Well, I never met Timothy but according to the legend, he was basically Satan so it would make sense he turned my father into a devil spawn," I muttered, taking another morsel of meat from a platter. "Nearly every one of Timothy's children were evil incarnate and Gramps was probably the only exception but he was still generally f****d up. Just coped with it better."

She was frowning, staring at her plate. "It all goes back to Timothy, doesn't it?"

I snorted. "The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him," I recited, smiling wryly at the bemused look on her face. "Ezekiel. Chapter 18, verse 20."

She looked at me in disbelief. "I never would have thought you to be a religious person."

"I'm not, but my Ma was a Bible thumping Catholic. She used to make me read it to her every day."

"Lady Jacqueline?" she said incredulously.

I laughed. "God, no. I meant my foster mother. Maria."

Her brows furrowed. "Foster mother? I didn't know you'd stayed with the Hagens."

"No." I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. "I met Ma when I was in college. Her family took me in and they basically kept me alive after Gramps passed." I took out my phone from my jacket, going on my gallery and showing her a photo of me with them during Mindy and Archibald's wedding in Umbria a few months ago. "This is them."

She frowned, looking at the screen intently. "How did you meet these people?"

I shrugged, tucking my phone away. "Stumbled into their bar one night."

"Aren't you... afraid?" she said warily. "From what I've seen, loved ones are the most targeted whenever there's a war."

I smirked. "Let me ask you," I murmured, leaning closer and searing her with my gaze. "Can you face my wrath and survive it, Georgiana?"

She swallowed hard, her face tense with fear and her breathing seizing. "N-no."

"Only those who can would dare harm those I love, that is why I am not afraid because no one has ever survived me."

"I... I heard about the war over Frederick," she stammered. "Anthony tried to execute him. You did nothing."

I sighed. "Because despite everything, I loved my father. I would have died to protect Frederick but I could have never harmed my father."

She pursed her lips, looking frustrated. "Never? There's nothing he could have done for you to disregard him?"

I tilted my head, leaning back. "Is this my brother speaking through you?"

"No... it's just... he was a horrible and cruel man," she insisted. "How could you love him after everything he did to you?"

I shook my head, catching Katrina enter the restaurant from the corner of my eye. "If you can't love someone in spite of the bad, how can you claim your love is true?"

"I don't understand you," she said in frustration.

"So you've said." I stood and everyone at the table turned their attention to me. "Please tell Mr. Zhuang I'm afraid we have to go."

She frowned, repeating my words and he gave a bemused reply. "He's asking if there's something wrong."

"Yes, but he has no reason for concern. I had a lovely time and I look forward to our next meeting."

She translated my words and I offered my hand to Zhuang, giving his a reassuring squeeze before leaving the table. Katrina was waiting by the door, holding it open when we neared.

"What's the situation?" I asked as we got in the elevator.

"A shipment heading out of St. Petersburg was bombed. Several chief assets handling the Balkan routes were involved in it and those weren't are being attacked."

I clicked my tongue against my teeth. "Leonti's doing?"

"It appears to be."

The elevator doors slid open to the lobby with Artie standing in front of us. "Can they hold for a day?"

"They're regrouping and assessing the losses," he replied, walking alongside me as I headed to the exit.

I sighed as we stepped out of the hotel, the heaviness of the air as cold clung to it making it hard for me to breathe. "I'm gonna go shop for some souvenirs for a bit." I took out my phone, dialing Rick and glancing at Katrina as I waited for him to pick up. "Ready the jet and notify Ben."

"Yes, Miss Lastor."

"Hey, gorgeous," I heard Rick greet on the other end of the line.

"You busy?"

"No. I'm just doing paperwork. I have to go do rounds in a few minutes though. What's up?"

"There's a change of plans. We have to go to Russia," I said, sighing.

"We're going to Russia?" Georgiana cut in.

I held up a finger. "I'm gonna try to get things done quick but can you tell Dr. Stein to find someone to cover me for the rest of the week?"

"Should I be worried?" he asked warily.

"I don't know. I'll tell you when I get there."

He sighed. "Just come back to me in one piece."

I held back a smile. "See you Sunday." I cut the call, glancing at Georgiana. "You're not coming. Find your way home, yeah?" I patted her shoulder before walking past her, turning down the street. "Art, with me."

"Wait, if there's a crisis, shouldn't it be beneficial for me to learn from it?" she pressed as she followed us. "And I'm also fluent in Russian. I can be of use."

I snorted. "Da, ya ne dumayu chto kommunikatsiya budet bol´shoy problemoy." (Yeah, I don't think communication will be a big problem.) I held out an arm to block her, halting in my step. "Art will contact you for the next meeting. Go home."

"Wait," she said when I was about to walk away. "I... I have to tell you something."

I frowned, raking my eyes over and deciphering the look on her face. "No," I said, walking away.

"Please, it's about-"

"No." Sawyer offered me my coat and I shrugged it on. "You can't discuss council matters with outsiders, Gia."

She grabbed my arm and I spun around, slapping her across the face. Her guards reacted instantly, forming a wall in front of her. I held up a hand to stop mine from doing the same.

"I told you. Don't ever touch me." I let out a breath, adjusting my coat as I walked between her guards to stand in front of her. "You want to ask questions, I'm willing to answer any. You want stories, I'll tell all of mine. You want a mentor, I can share everything that I know." I reached for her face, her guards unholstering their guns when I brushed my fingers along the reddening spot on her cheek. "But you will not weigh on my conscience because I am happy where I am and I don't need whatever s**t is happening in that f****d up family ruining it. Are we understood?"

She pursed her lips, shaking her head. "No."

"No?" I arched a brow. "Then go away."

I turned, walking ahead. "Your brother needs you!" she called after me, her words making me stop. "He fell ill and is in the hospital. My grandfather is planning a coup in light of Master Jude's absence. For the past year, the council has been-"

"Enough!" I snapped, looking at her over my shoulder. "I like you, Gia. Don't make me do something you will hate me for."

She curled her hands into fists, her frustration bubbling into tears. "What is the point of having all this if you're not going to use it to help your brother?"

I shrugged. "There is no point." I turned to Art as I kept walking. "Tell me what we're looking at."