PMS1: President's Forgotten Wife

CHAPTER 31 [II]

CHAPTER 31, part II: TO BREATHE, TO LIVE

JADE LOOKED at her wristwatch as she took a lot of patience, waiting for Sceven to speak to her. She then unconsciously tapped her shoes against the sand while staring at the vast sea, Sceven still in sight.

It was already 1 in the morning, and It's even getting colder on the seaside, making her regret not changing her clothes before deciding to talk to Sceven—Eisen's friend.

Jade was sitting on a log while Sceven was standing in front of her, his back facing her. She knew that the man has many questions running in his head, and Jade totally understands that.

She just hopes that Jade will be able to answer all of Sceven's questions before the sun rises. Because she's tired, and she f*****g needs to rest!

She began rubbing her palms against her exposed skin, trying to ease the cold breeze trickling underneath. And Jade began sneezing, feeling that she would catch a cold and turn sick the next day.

However, before Jade could even continue heating her arms, it was too late for her to react when Sceven already wrapped his coat to her, sending her comfort. And Sceven walked past through her before sitting on the sand, a few inches away from Jade.

"You don't have to g—" before she could finish, the man rested his back and arms on the log without taking his eyes off the ocean. And then he spoke,

"Remember the moment I got mad at you at the hospital?" He began, taking Jade to memory lane, way back to where she first met Sceven—in the hospital. "I was mad, no. I was furious knowing that my friend Eisen would die in my hands because I failed to keep an eye on him."

Jade wanted to be mad at him because of how harsh Sceven's action was on the night in the hospital. However, she can't help but think of wanting to comfort him. Yes, he hurt her, but Jade wholly understand the entire situation.

"I can still see his blood in my hands, you know?" This time, Sceven shifted his attention towards Jade with a pained expression painted on his feature. His hands were trembling, and Jade is sure that Sceven was trying to speak without a shaking voice. "And then that night, I hurt you even though I know it was you who saved a man dying in his best friend's arms,"

Jade tightly held Sceven's coat on her body as the breeze grew intense. After that, she clasped her hands together and looked at Sceven straight in the eyes. "Everyone would do the same as I did because that's the right thing to do."

"But without you that night, everything could've gone worst, miss Guevara. I would've lost my friend that night if not for you," he replied before darting his gaze back to the ocean. "So I'm sorry for hurting and accusing you of something you clearly don't do."

Jade wanted to speak. However, with every attempt she makes to open her mouth to speak, she can't get enough courage to voice out every word formed inside her brain. So, Jade remained silent, still confused as to why Sceven wanted to talk to her.

But before Jade could even ask Sceven's reasons as to why he wanted to talk to her, a whispered tone came out of the gentleman's lips with enough volume for her to hear. "Why?" He asked before facing Jade, with a tight jaw and a clenched fist.

With an unclear question, Jade decided to answer him with something she assumed will answer his fragment question. "Eisen clearly needed saving that night. And I'm sorry for my part for—"

"No," Sceven uttered, making her stop. His eyes looked past through her, and there she clearly understood what Sceven wanted to hear. "Why did you lie to him? Why are you hurting the man you so desperately tried to save?"

__________

THE MOMENT Jade closed the door of her room behind her; her body almost collapsed to the floor as her hand looked for support on the doorknob. Her body slowly leaned against the wooden door, almost not wanting to stand up.

Jade's body grew weak against the floor, only feeling now how drained she was for the entire activity: hearing Geralt's confession, meeting with his dad after years of not wanting to visit him, pushing Geralt away because of not wanting to hurt him, and seeing Eisen and Sceven in their residence, Eisen declaring himself as Jade's husband. And now, her talk with Sceven has been instead a headache as things went out to be surprisingly downhill.

The desire of not wanting to hurt Geralt became a speck of dust in the air as it began to turn into guilt, something Jade had to endure breathing for the rest of her life. Because at the end of the day, Jade ended up hurting the man she considered her best friend. And now, Eisen.

And just by the mere thought of him took her back to the ocean where she and Sceven talked—the most painful conversation she had for a while.

[FLASBACK]

"Why did you lie to him? Why are you hurting the man you so desperately tried to save?" Jade had to blink a few times after getting caught off-guard by Sceven's question.

It's not that Jade wasn't expecting him to ask something related to her lying about her identity to Eisen but rather was preoccupied with the thought that Sceven was sad and in need of comfort.

Jade saw how the young man clenched his fist and unclenched it along with the tightening of his jaw. He doesn't seem mad. Instead, he just wanted to know the truth.

And Jade wanted the truth, too.

"You're not Alicia Collins, so why do you need to be her?" He trails off before continuing. "I know that you both look alike, but I won't accept that kind of reason this time."

"I—I don't know," Jade responded shortly, avoiding Sceven's gaze.

"Please excuse my manner, miss Guevara, but you're basically telling me that you don't know? So, you casually lied without knowing the reason why? Have you f*****g lost your mind?" He said with a hand gesture, almost losing his composure in front of her.

And all Jade could do was to lower her head and firmly clasp her hands together.

Yes, Sceven is right. She had completely lost her mind the moment she lied to Eisen about the marriage. Jade wasn't completely thinking straight when Eisen was getting mad at her, and it was too late for her to react when words overflowed from her head, making Jade spill the lies she never thought would be possible for her to say. And now, here she was, facing the consequences of her actions.

Jade met Lewis after years of not seeing him. Well, all she and the man did was argue, so it's frustrating as f**k. Second, Jade ended up hurting Geralt, who only wished to love her. And then she made Eisen's life full of fragmented lies. After that, Alicia is in the Philippines, and she's after Jade to know where her husband is. Now, everything is falling into pieces.

"I'm waiting. But don't take your time," Sceven paused, trying to calm his senses. "If Eisen could wait for answers this long, then I'm not, miss Jade because I'm way different from him. Because you should know by now that I'm a desperate man to know the truth—the truth of why you're pretending to be a wife to another woman's husband."

Jade heaved a deep sigh as the weight of Sceven's words made her breathless. It was too heavy to carry; his words, how he let go of those sentences, and the way he brought the topic as if it was the lightest conversation they could have together. It was a lot to take in at once, and when Jade means "a lot," it means that it's making her want to dig her own grave.

With a skating voice, she uttered, "I—Eisen recognized me when she woke up in the hospital," with that statement, Sceven's face grew curious at her words. "I thought Eisen knew that I was the woman he's trying to chase outside the bar, but he didn't. Instead, he had the same reaction as you all are. Eisen recognized me as Alicia."

"But you took advantage of him. You should've clarified to Eisen that you're not Alicia." He firmly said, but Jade shook her head in response before speaking once again.

"I tried. Oh, how much I wanted to make Eisen believe I'm not the woman he's looking for. Not until Lewis talked to me and offered me to be his brother's wife for the meantime until he remembers. At first, I rejected to be a replacement, as you call it. I never wanted to get tangled in any of their situations, but at the same time, I tried to help him. Because if Eisen didn't follow me out that night, he could be living his luxurious life now in a peaceful world away from me. Eisen doesn't deserve to tumble in a messy world. And I'm sorry for that."

Tears wanted to roll out on the corners of her eyes, but Jade made sure not to cry in front of Sceven. Since she began lying and possessing another woman's identity, all she did was shed a tear all day and all night. She's done crying.

"I ended up being his caregiver because I wanted for Eisen's fast recovery. But the most epic situation happened when he just—" Jade stopped midsentence as she dropped her hands on her sides, hugging herself in the process while starting at the slow, undulating waves. "He got curious on a locked door, burst it open, and there he saw pictures of him and Alicia. And because I looked like Alicia, Eisen believed that I was lying."

"Lying?" He asked with a frown face.

"Yes. That I'm lying, and I'm Eisen's real wife hidden in a caregiver's uniform. He believed that I hid all of the marriage pictures to make him forget about me. And I had no choice but to go with Lewis's plans to make Eisen sign the divorce paper. It was too late for me to realize what I did and what mess I had created." Jade laughed as she began shedding a tear; but was lucky enough to hide those from Sceven, who was silent beside her.

"He needs to know,"

"I know. I remember when we had a big argument, and I ended up telling Eisen the entire truth about the situation. That I'm not his wife, and I'm just a replacement to his real wife, but again, Eisen called me a liar, which didn't surprise me at all because whatever I say always turns out to be a lie to him. I'm a lie in the first place anyway, so why would it surprise me at all?" Chuckle rose on Jade's throat as she remembered that moment. It was the most prominent argument she and Eisen had along with Lewis.

"I want to be the person to tell him that. So please," Jade looked at Sceven, who happens to divert his attention towards her. "Don't tell him now. Give me more time, and then I'll tell Eisen the truth."

This time, Sceven sigh and stared at the sky where stars glimmer up above. And when he took his sight back to where Jade sat, Sceven stood up from the sand, dusted himself off, and walk towards Jade. And when he was already in front of her, Sceven extended his hand to offer Jade help to get up. Jade politely took his offer and stood up from the log.

As they looked into each other's eyes, Jade saw something mysterious in Sceven's eyes that made Jade want to look closer to know the depth of his gaze. But before she could even read the emotion flashing on the man's eyes, Sceven spoke, "I'll take you back to your room now, miss Jade."

"Sceven—" the man tucked Jade's hand on the crook of his elbow and began walking, making Jade move beside him.

The both of them walked silently from the ocean to the Guevara residence. Jade was peeking at Sceven from time to time until they finally arrived at the house.

The chickens began to make a rambunctious sound as some began to crow. Jade and Sceven entered the house without making too much noise to wake anyone up. And as soon as they stopped in front of Jade's room, Sceven spoke once again before leaving her for the night or early in the morning.

"Thank you for telling me the truth, Jade. I appreciate your honesty," he paused, and Jade held her breath before hearing his words, "but I'll be giving you a week to tell him everything. I don't want to be selfish towards you, but Eisen deserves to know the truth. He won't remember anything if he stays hidden in the cage you put him into. And as his friend, I won't tolerate such behavior towards him. So, tell him everything before I do it myself."

[END OF FLASHBACK]

Jade curled up on the floor as she closed her eyes, hands tightly balled into a fist on her chest. And silently, she began hitting her chest as pain seethes through the system that made her paralyzed.

For her, she's endured enough pain. And if she would be facing another set of soul-breaking situations, she won't be able to handle it all. Jade might break. No, she might shatter and can never be pieced back again. She can't do it anymore.

"Can I—" Jade whispered in between sob as she let water drip from the corners of her eyes. "I can't. Not anymore,"

With no enough strength, Jade stood up from the floor, causing her to almost stumble back into the wooden floor. If her hand failed to grip into something near her, Jade would've been crying again on the floor, feeling hopeless and useless.

She heaved a deep sigh before standing appropriately, dusting herself off. Jade let Sceven's coat slip away from her skin, making the cold breeze once again touch her whole being. The coldness the air brought reached Jade's heart, freezing her system in the process. And every step she took made every pain grew heavy.

She can't take it anymore.

Jade walked towards the opened window and let her knuckles grazed the corners of the window until her palm rested into the railings, making her lean into nothingness—darkness.

Another tear escape from her eyes as she began forcing herself not to breathe. Everything was too painful: to move, to see, to touch, to breathe, to live.

"I don't want this anymore," Jade whispered through the wind as her eyes never left the sky. And again, her knees crumpled, leaving her falling on her knees as her left hand remained intact on the rail. She cried once again, making herself weaker and weaker.

Lewis was her long-lost friend who ended up hurting Jade. Geralt was her best friend who made her feel what it's like to be free, but she ended up hurting him. Alicia was the woman who doesn't deserve to be treated like this. For she is the real wife, and she deserves the truth. But Jade doesn't know what to do anymore. And lastly, Eisen. The man who made her feel different emotions in just a minute; to be mad at everything, to be happy for everything, to be sad at some point, and to be natural every single day.

But Jade can't handle them anymore.

Because the very least she expected to happen is to feel something. To feel where she finally belonged.

To the arms of the man she's not meant to be with. To the married man who had devoted himself to his wife. To Eisen, who wanted to be with Alicia forever.

And she's not Alicia. She's Jade Ardante Guevara. She will never be the woman Eisen is bound to love.

And it pains knowing that she wanted to stay, but she can't. Because sooner or later, she's bound to leave. And that is what she'll do—to exile herself from Eisen's side because it's the right thing to do.

It is... Jade should do the right thing.