PMS1: President's Forgotten Wife

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 20: LINE BETWEEN MEMORIES AND DREAMS

NO ONE spoke after Eisen relayed his dream to his family. Of course, he ended up disregarding the essential detail he remembered to verify his instincts. And as Eisen examined every one of them, only then did he confirm that his dream wasn't just a dream but a part of his memory that laid in an upheaval of silence for a while in the back of his head. 

However, as he made the final period to his statement, his family lingered such cessation as they contemplated his words. 

Eisen knew that from the look in their eyes, his family halted into a gash of stringent codes and quandaries that they tried to crack and decipher without him noticing. Because of his amnesia, everything became unclear and blurry. If everything was as easy as before, things like this, they could've settled immediately.

"Is there something wrong with my dream? You all look puzzled at some point. Is my dream that complex to understand? I do not require you to understand my situation, so please, don't act like you've seen a ghost?" he asked in astonishment when Eisen saw the uncertainty and marvel on their faces, brooding like a coward in front of him.

Eisen's three companions were deliberately thinking profoundly, and he felt that moment the need to know himself better. Yes, he might have known fragments of his memories now, but that wasn't enough to make him whole. Everybody in this room knew a lot about him; that's why they all looked so suspicious. And Eisen wanted to be part of them—them who knew him more than how he knew himself.

Eisen came back to his woolgathering as soon as his mom pursed her lips and opened them, causing a reasonably distracting popping sound. "Nothing, honey. It's just that we're not really used to seeing you like this," his mom replied with an assuring smile written on her face.

"How so? You weren't all acting like this when I was still in the hospital. Why act differently now? Unless something was unusual in my dream that you didn't wish to tell me?" Eisen wanted just bluntly to ask them about himself, but he wanted to send a hint that might rattle his companion. Something to disturb their peace of mind.

His mother's slightly trembling hands grabbed his hand and gently stroke the back of his palm; worry wasn't wearing out of her face. Her touch was a comfort as if an assurance to say that everything would be better than before. 

As Eisen's eyes darted back to his father and brother, terror and unexplained emotion along with it became a mask to hide their faces from him. And that reason alone was enough for him to know that his plan of scaring them was a success. And therefore, Eisen concluded that something was definitely going on behind his back.

And Eisen will do whatever it takes to know everything with or without the help of anyone. Not his family, not even his wife. 

However disappointed he is that nobody dared to answer his question, Eisen ended up hiding his own emotions again so nobody would know what was running in his mind.

Everything is f****d up! His memories, his head, his body, his emotions, everything! All he wanted was to know what it feels like for them to treat him as someone dear into their hearts. But the longer Eisen stare at them, all he could feel was the coldness of the warm breeze in the air, the burning sensation of desire rippling to his throat and stopping him from wanting to voice out his words. His heart is torn into pieces, little by little like it was a piece of garbage scattered somewhere where it doesn't belong.

"Life can be confusing, son. You'll eventually understand it sooner or later." A bitter smile crept on his face as his eyes itched with the desire to get out all the things he wanted to burst out for so long. But in the end, Eisen held his tears as he wiped all emotions inside him.

It may sound impossible to do so, but he thinks, and therefore he is.

"Life was a bit confusing since the past few days. Maybe because I've been working myself out to remember the most important details of my past where I need to go back to," Eisen uttered as he let his inner self tremble in agony and pain. His emotions were unannounced, but Eisen hated it so much when his feelings get in the way. It wasn't charming, but he can't seem to control his emotions. Maybe his feelings were preventing him because his mind was still confused and overwhelmed by the situation.

He asked as he withdrew his hand away from his mother's grip.  Lies.  It was all lies. 

"It feels like a voice in my head was telling me something. These voices were directing me to a portal where I can see the 'me' in the past. The Eisen Loisz St. Clair, you knew. I am caught up with the situation of wanting to know everything without even noticing how these visions and recollections were affecting me. I can't even point out which dream is a dream and which memory is a memory. Urgh." Eisen moved his hand away from his mother's touch and rested his head against them. 

He took a deep breath, wanting to release all the tension in his body. Until Lewis reached for his shoulder and lightly rubbed it. When Eisen looked at his brother, Lewis was smiling ear to ear as the ocean has finally unraveled the depth of the sky. Lewis's smile was enough to calm him down but wasn't enough to answer all the questions his mind was juggling back and forth. It just made everything worst.

"You need to calm down, Eisen. Your thinking too much and steering yourself with something you shouldn't pay attention to too much will ruin your way of thinking. You need to focus on one goal at a time. You're in no hurry to remember things the mind can't still handle nor recall." Eisen knew that it was not just a dream because deep inside him up to the core of his being, his nightmare was a reality that would eventually open a new door for him to remember. If it was just a demon whispering in his head, then Eisen hoped for someone to shut this demon out of his brain. 

What reverberated in Eisen's mind is that, what Is it for him about his dreams if they were just a mere dream? Does it have no value at all? Or are they just trying to get him lost in track because there's a lot deeper than he thought it would be?

"It was just a scary dream, Eisen. You don't have to worry about that. Your focus is on how you can quickly remember the past."

Lewis replied,  clasping his hands together without breaking their dangerous eye contacts. Until his brother suddenly stood up from where he is seated and put his hands inside the pocket of his faded jeans. Lewis approached Eisen in a single stride before tapping Eisen's shoulder.

"I'll be upstairs if you need me. I think I deserve a rest after a long tiring day of travel. Let's continue this drama after dinner."  Lewis excused himself from the circle and walked up the stairs.  But he immediately stopped walking when suddenly their mother stood in front of him, stopping Lewis from continuing to walk towards the stairs, and adjusted his tangled clothes because of his sitting. 

"Sure, son. Just make sure not to put your phone on silent mode, okay? As of now, I'll cook something  for us to dig in, and I'll let the two of you talk."  Eisen's mother said goodbye as well, walking out of the living room to go to their designated destinations, leaving Eisen dumbfounded in front of his father, who was still thinking. If Eisen knew, his father looked like he didn't even notice that his mom and brother already vacated their seats.

As soon as they were already out of sight, Eisen's father then went to the chair in front of Eisen and tapped his shoulder.  "Son," Mr. St. Clair called his attention out in a whispered tone. And it sounded like his father was about to tell him a secret.

Wondering why his father was whispering, Eisen focused his full attention on his dad, who was seriously looking back at him. The severity of his emotion was hard not to notice.

"Would you want to go back to France?" Eisen didn't expect his father's once in a blue moon question that lightly shackled his thoughts. He didn't expect to hear such a question from his father knowing that his thinking isn't in the right state to make haste judgments. 

"Why did you suddenly ask me that, dad? You sure know that I'm still figuring my life out. Making me answer such question, isn't it appropriate to even ask at all?"

"I just want to know if you want to go back, son. I'm not forcing you to answer me since you're still in this situation." The idea wasn't just about if Eisen wants or didn't want to go back; it is just that asking that now doesn't seem to fit the whole scenario. And only by thinking of leaving the house and staying away with Jade was it hard to digest it all at once.

The place became a home to Eisen. He was already in love with the house, most especially with the surroundings that make his gaze stopped from diverting and how his heart lies beneath the sand. And this kind of rare perfection and beauty was hard to let slip in one's grasp.

"Jade and I... We are living peacefully here, and everything is perfect. Since I woke up not remembering everything, this house became a shelter for my new memories with her. This place grew dear within me while I'm with—Jade right beside me. We can't just abandon our home?"  Eisen explained, wanting his father to know what he feels. He does not remember anything about France, which sucks because he resides there for years but ended up not remembering anything at all. But now, Eisen grew obsessed with the beauty of the environment. He's never been somewhere where he could enjoy the peaceful surrounding, calm waves, and a bright sky. 

Maybe, France is not really for him.  Perhaps, he belongs here—a place where he could breathe.

"What if Jade wished to go to France?" the beautiful environment he had been thinking about suddenly vanished before him as his father's question reigned. Eisen looked at his father along with a smear of a smile on his lips as his eyes glimmer with delight.

What if Jade wished to go to France?  Then, he'll be there right beside her.  He had no intention of leaving the woman whom he chose to marry. Not this time, and it will never transpire.

"Then I'll go with her. Wherever she goes, I'll follow. I may sound obsessed, but I am. I want her close to me, and nothing will change. I want to be a better husband this time. I want to be worthy of my wife." even though the island, where the location of their house, is beautiful for him, it is still vital for him to be with his wife. Eisen took Jade's hand in marriage, so whatever decision he makes, Jade will always be a part of it.

Because for Eisen, even if he doesn't remember anything, his life will be better when he is with the woman he promised the world and everything that comes along with it, jade.

"And what if she wanted to leave without you following her? What if she wanted to leave you? What if Jade will push the div—" Eisen did not know how to feel.  He did not know why his father suddenly asked things about his wife.

"Dad, this is not the right time—"

"Then when will be the right time to ask you this question? When will you face this reality that Jade wanted to push something through, and what's stopping her was because of your condition?" His dad can't be serious right now, right? Because if he does, it's starting to piss him off. 

"Oh, come on! You don't get to decide—" Eisen wasn't able to finish what he was saying when his father suddenly spoke, and he held his hand tightly.

"Eisen, listen to me. What if she's not the wife you were supposed to be with now? What if she's not the same as the past that you had forgotten? What if—" Eisen no longer like the way his father approached and carried their conversation.

So, without question, Eisen withdrew his hand from his father's reach and glared at him straight in his soul without bothering himself to listen to what his father has to say.

"Dad, I'm not quite following to what is going on right now or to what you're planning to do with my life or to my relationship with Jade, but Jade is my wife. She would not be here right now if she's just lying straight to my face about something no one should hide from me! You are my family, and I know deep in my heart that you would never hide something like that from me."  Eisen was fuming mad, like a volcano about to erupt. But Eisen controlled himself and took there deep long breaths to calm his nerves 

For a moment, his father fell silent while he looked amusingly stunned by what Eisen uttered. After a few seconds, his father just nodded as if he agreed with what he said before he tapped him on the shoulder.

"You're right, son. But please believe me when I say this. We are just trying to protect you, and we will do everything, no matter the consequences, just to provide the help you need. You are our top priority, and that's what matters now. So, once you remember the past, bear in mind that all we did, we did it for you and to save this family... You made me proud, son. And no matter what happens, you'll always be making me proud of you."