Monster's mate

Part II

                                                                             - All I remember is you. -

-Roy! Help me!- I scream, my lungs hurting, my insides bleeding.

I can hear Roy's distant shouting as two men hold me down while a third tries to shove his d**k inside of me. The one griping my legs, taller one, starts digging his nails further into my thighs, allowing better access of my undeveloped insides. My five year old mind doesn't understand what's happening. I am far beyond terrified.

-Roy!- I gather all my remaining strength to call my brother's name even though I know it's pointless.

I can barely distinguish three large figures holding his nine year old body down. He is trying to fight them off while maintaining eye contact with me. He is strong but not strong enough. I am afraid to keep looking for he is beaten to an unrecognizable degree.

As I try once again to call out for him I am stopped by sharp pain. My insides are being ripped open and my eyes return their focus on the large figure doing it. His hungry eyes drop on my hips with desire to see under my sweaty shirt.

I can't form words or screams anymore. Only whimpers manage to escape my throat. By the third thrust I stop resisting. I stop making sounds. There is a warm tickling down my asscheeks. It is fresh blood dripping from my thorn hymen down my legs. I can't feel pain anymore so why is there so much blood. Damage inside my genitalia must be much greater than that of the broken hymen.This feels like dying.

I want to die watching my brother. I gather all my remaining strength to turn my head towards Roy. He doesn't look away from my numb body which is moving in synchronization with forceful thrusts. I realize he never, not even for a split second, took his eyes off me.

With each thrust applied his cheekbone twitches. This act is the only reminder of the once present life. For his eyes are dead.

The men growls in pleasure as he finishes inside of me. In one swift movement he takes small kitchen knife and slights my throat. My eyes never leaving my brother. Though his wounds are not fetal he is dying together with me. Before I close my eyes I see inside his soul. I see damage they inflicted by hurting me. And I realize. If they don't finish this boy today he will grow up to be a monster.

My own screams wake me up. My heavy body still struggles unevenly for the gasp of air. I automatically move my fingers near the neck line where a huge scar emerges like a reminder of the great threat that I still haven't overcome.

As long as I can remember this nightmare kept emerging back and lately I have been dreaming it more frequently than usual. It is ironical,  really, that someone like me who manifests aggression by planning and thinking through, dreams barbaric vivid violence. It was too straightforward for my taste. 

I gaze over my slim and tender body with careful and detailed look. My gray eyes stop to observe wrists that have a history of being broken too many times. My clumsiness is one of the things that never disappoint to amaze me. Another one is my beauty. Which sadly brings no comfort when for some unknown reason I wonder broken through this estrange world.

-Clare!- My mother's panicked voice snaps me back to reality. I take a wild guess It must be the red letter I kept quiet about, that got her all stressed out. The letter. I almost forgot about it. I am  chosen as a pig for slaughter. 

Before she makes appearance in front of my room I can hear her voice reading the letter content as if haven't read it already. -We regret to inform you that you were selected as the necessary sacrifice for keeping peace treaty among our species. We expect to see you tomorrow straight 4:30 at old grand station.-

-When were you planning on telling me!- Her eyes openly accuse me as they switch between me and the red threat between her fingers. 

I was not planning on telling you.  For how does one tell he is dead before dying. I was selected to die. There was no hope. Even the person who wrote the letter didn't make an effort to give me a hope. It was no secret that majority of people thought he doesn't have a mate. She could be dead, never found or most likely never created. For having a mate is a blessing and he doesn't deserve one. If she did exist- he wouldn't be able to love her. Someone like him is deprived of complex emotions. Maybe it was his punishment or maybe it was mercy. Maybe his mate is not she-wolf, maybe it is death.

"Why wouldn't you tell me? I am your mother. I am here to protect you!" 

 Angrily I glare at her but she continues: "How could they select you? I don't understand. They usually pick older girls. You are so young!  You whole life is ahead of you and they just decided to rip you away from it. "  She hisses with hint of accusation in her voice.

"Don't start panicking. It will do no good. I will come up with something. I always do."

"Aren't you angry? Aren't you angry at the people who chose you? At the beast that wants to kill you? Why are you not upset, hurt or afraid?" By now she was already screaming in my ear. I understand her. She cant punish the world so she blames it on me. 

"Yes mom. Of course I am. But I control them so I can think. Emotions are privilege that I cant afford.  If I let them out I am as good as dead." My tone never changed and my cold gaze never faltered. I am dead either way. How do I get out of this? How do I get to live?   

"I don't want to lose you Clare. You are my little girl." Her brown hair fell over her swollen eyes. She had been crying for quite some time. 

"My beautiful mother." I stepped closer to her. "You don't need to be afraid. All you need to do lay all of your fears on me and I will control them too." I tossed aside brown strand from her eyes, "You don't need to think. I will do thinking for bout of us. Like I always do." 

She looked at me unsure. "Did I ever fail you?" I whispered in her ear. 

"No but this..." Before she could finish I intervened, "this is just another situation which I have under control."  I said it with lazy grin decorating my small and pale face. 

Truth was, I didn't. Nothing was under control. In my life I delt with some pretty mess situations but never like this. She could feel it too, as her doubt in my capability to get out of this, grew larger by a second. . Maybe she was right. Maybe I was going mad. I don't know where all of this confidence came from. Sure I am smart and quick at solving problems but this behavior was more than mere self confidence. I behaved as If I was superior species. Better at thinking, behaving and surviving. Almost as if I was special. Entitled to survive. 

-Okay.- She defeatedly gave in.

 The level of my confidence terrified even me. It's not like I was born in rich or royal family. Far from it. My family belongs to an upper middle class and my pack - is not one of the strongest or even well known ones. Both my mom and dad are Betas which automatically makes me one. I have comfortable life but far from noble one to be so bold in my statements. Royals are protected because of their titles and position. Yet I felt higher than any royal. As, If my existence itself should provide me with needed protection. I couldn't help but find amusement in my never dropping self importance.