Ember

30 - Are you ready?

Ember

“When are you gonna admit that you want me?”

I blink while looking at Marco and shake my head. That question came out of nowhere, and it shocked me because I don’t know if he’s kidding or not. When I asked him if we could talk later, I didn’t mean while we were still in the recording studio.

We’ve just finished for the day, and Caren told us to go back to the hotel and get ready for tonight’s party. I was kind of hoping that I could give it a miss or maybe show my face and then leave.

I really want Marco and me to talk things through tonight. I don’t think I can wait any longer to get things off my chest. The way he’s looking at me right now with that smile on his face makes my heart beat faster. Since realizing that I’ve fallen in love with Marco, it’s been hard not to blurt it out to anyone who would listen. When Marco didn’t mention anything, I thought he’d forgotten, and I was too nervous to say anything to him. Looking at him now, I wonder if he remembers, and now he’s ready to talk.

The past few days haven’t been easy; we’ve hardly said two words to each other. But I blame that on all the work we’ve been doing and not Marco avoiding me. We have the album to finish and an extra tour date to get through. We also have TV appearances, a radio chat show, and another photo shoot for our album cover. The work never ends, but I’m enjoying everything we do. This is my dream, and I have nothing to complain about. The only thing that could make this journey perfect is if Marco and I were together.

After Hannah and I spoke the other night, she gave me food for thought. It doesn’t matter how Colin and the others feel about Marco and me dating. They have their reasons for believing it would be nothing more than one night between us. However, deep in my heart, I know that Marco and I are more than se.x, and I think Marco feels it, too. All we need to do is show the others we’re serious about each other, and they’ll come around.

No one can help whom they fall in love with, and though we wouldn’t give in to our sexua.l urges if that’s all it was, we can’t fight the love between us. I know now why Lydia and Toby fell in love. It was so that I could find Marco and fall in love with the man I’m fast realizing was meant for me.

Christ, I feel like a schoolgirl with a massive crush on the high school heartthrob. But I’ve never felt this way before. I loved Toby, but it was never like this. I never woke up every morning with butterflies in my stomach at the thought of seeing him. I never lay in bed at night, wondering if he was lying in his bed thinking about me.

Until recently, I didn’t ache every moment of the day, wishing Marco was next to me. Though I’ve come to love finding Marco on the couch at night, writing his lyrics. I’ve often joined him, and we’ve written some fantastic stuff lately. Marco and I are a good team, and I hope that never ends.

I don’t know if this is just the honeymoon period or if I’m blinded by love. What I do know now, without a doubt in my mind, is that I love this beautifully broken man. I love him, and I pray with everything I am that he loves me, too.

“What are you thinking about?” Marco smiles at me while tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. I try not to gasp at the contact or lean into his touch.

“I was thinking I’m not sure I want to attend this party tonight.”

“Funnily, I was thinking the same thing.”

Take a deep breath, Ember, and go for it. What do you have to lose?

Everything if Marco doesn’t want a relationship with me. I shouldn’t even want a relationship after everything that happened, but I can’t help feeling this way. Maybe I should ask my mom for advice before taking a leap. She’d put me straight, and I’d know once and for all if I was doing the right thing.

However, if I don’t take this leap now, maybe it will be too late in the future. Marco could meet and fall in love with someone else, and I would be happy for him, but I’d die inside. I know that if I tell Marco how I feel and he doesn’t feel the same way, he won’t make things difficult for me with the band, and he’d still be my friend. Sure, things would be awkward for a while, but we’d move on from it in time.

I don’t have a damn thing to lose and everything to gain.

I smile at Marco and take his hand in mine. He looks down and entwines his fingers with mine. I know I’m not the only one feeling this spark. I know because I see something so special in Marco’s eyes.

“We need to talk, Marco.”

“I know we do.” He agrees with a nod of his head. “We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?”

I nod my head because he’s right. It’s time I told Marco what happened with Toby and Lydia, and I want to know what happened with his ex. Fallen Cambridge speaks volumes about how that woman hurt Marco.

The first time I heard Marco sing that song, my heart ached for him because I realized he was just like me. That’s how I know I can trust him not to cheat on me like Toby did. No one who had been cheated on would ever do the same thing. They wouldn’t because they know the hurt it causes.

We also need to speak about Nate and what happened between him and me. I won’t allow Marco to think, for a second, that I slept with that pig. I may have told him the other night, but I get the feeling Marco was too drunk to hear me.

“Are you ready to hear what I have to say?”

I swallow hard and nod my head. “Are you ready to hear what I have to say?” I counter back.

Marco laughs and nods his head. “Let’s show our faces at the party so none of this lot can give us a hard time tomorrow. We don’t have to stay for more than ten minutes.”

“I’d rather not go at all. There’s always someone who wants to talk to me and tell me their life story.” Both Marco and I laugh, and subconsciously, I pull Marco’s hand to my lips and kiss his knuckles.

His eyes widen, and lust fills them. I watch Marco look around the room before pulling me into a corner where no one can see us. Marco looks at me for a moment before pressing his lips to mine. I instantly moan into his mouth.

God, I’ve wanted him to kiss me like this for days!

His tongue goads mine, and my eyes roll behind my eyelids. It’s a massive cliché to say that I’ve never been kissed like this, but it’s the truth. It feels like the first kiss I’ve ever had, as stupid as that sounds. I can see sparks behind my eyes, and my body aches for his touch.

Marco pulls out of the kiss and rests his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help myself.”

I touch my hand to his cheek and smile. “Don’t ever be sorry for kissing me. But maybe we shouldn’t do it here where anyone could see us.”

There’s a fire in Marco’s eyes that I’ve never seen before. It burns me to the core, and I can’t help kissing him one more time. “Meet me at the hotel roof at nine.”

“I’d meet you anywhere, any time.”

I know that Marco feels the way I do, and he knows the same thing about me. It’s obvious to both of us, but we’ll talk more tonight; here is not the place.