To say Alexander's ideas were cringey would be an understatement—just look at his list of nicknames.
Seriously, who even comes up with this kind of stuff?
"What's with your nickname?" Stella glanced at her phone, totally lost.
"Babe, it's nothing. Just trying out some matching couple names," Alexander replied while casually glancing at his laptop, where a love advice blog proudly preached: "Step one: get close. Step two: find common ground. Step three: use nicknames."
Exhibit A:
She's the endless sea, you're the shore.
She's the moon, you're the stars.
She's the neighbor's wife, you're the actual neighbor.
...
So Alexander had a lightbulb moment.
If her name's PunchKickAlexanderPig, then he might as well go with BeatenToAPulpAlexanderPig.
Now that's a mat
