The Battle Within

That Feeling

    Layla

    I wake to the loud buzzing of my alarm clock. I roll over in attempt to hit the snooze button, but instead I I just throw the alarm clock across the room. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed is an understatement for me lately. With Sean gone now, I don't feel a reason to thrive anymore. I dread going to work at the bar every evening at 6 p.m., receiving the same pity stares from everyone since my mates death a few years ago. Life in a wolf pack is different than humans. You only get one mate, that's it. So everyone just looks at me as the girl that will forever be alone now. 

    I have to force myself to stop thinking about Sean and make myself get ready for work. I get in a hot shower to wash away the dried tears from last night. Time is supposed to heal wounds but this is just more of a gaping hole that just aches. The hot water running down my face is somewhat soothing to the extent that I swear he is standing next to me. I open my eyes to see that yet again, I am still alone. I turn off the water and get out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my body as I walk towards my closet. A low cut black shirt with Guns N' Roses on the front, that should get me a few tips tonight. I throw that on with a pair of jeans and head towards my car after slipping on my black boots. I didn't even bother to brush my wet hair. Besides, I'm sure the drunks won't even notice. No one looks at me like Sean did anyways. He would always tell me how beautiful my wavy brown hair was that flows down my mid-back.

    As I pull into work, I can see Alpha outside standing beside his motorcycle. He lights a cigarette while standing there as if he is waiting on someone. I grab my stuff and head inside to start my shift, making sure to bow my head in his presence. "Alpha Declan," I said whilst bowing my head towards him to show respect. He nodded as to say I had permission to pass. Declan is a tall muscular man, with long wavy brown hair. He had a rugged look to him also, which made him look scary in a way. He was not a merciful alpha either. If you disobeyed him, your choices were execution, banishment, or to decide which fingers you did not need. So most of us just kept our distance and stayed out of his way. 

    Whoa! .............. A warm sensation just washed over me when I walked into the bar. I look around to see if anyone else noticed, but they just carried on drinking. The bar is full of wolves from the pack, so pretty much everyone is a regular here. Nothing new. Then what was that feeling? It feels so familiar, but I just cant explain it. Wolf senses are much more heightened than humans but this was different. I just brush it off and walk behind the bar to start my shift. 

"Layla! I need you up front today, I'll be working in the back doing inventory." hollered Freida. She was one of the owners of the bar. Freida is an elder of the pack and doesn't treat me with pity like the other wolves. 

"You got it boss," I replied with a little smile. 

I started to stock the coolers with beer when the warmth feeling returned and radiated through my chest. It felt so good I just stood still to savor the moment. I have no clue where the warmth feeling is coming from but, it was as if the coldness from losing Sean was slowly leaving. Wolves are naturally warmer in body temperature. When Sean was alive, the closer we were to each other, the warmer our bodies were. After Sean died, It was as if my warmth disappeared. Lets just say losing your one and only mate has side effects. 

"Can I get a beer?" I heard from the voice of a human. I could smell him from where I was standing. It wasn't uncommon for humans to stumble upon our bar. They usually will ask for directions or for the restroom. The pack didn't like humans coming around because the fear of exposing our kind. 

"Any particular kind?" I asked without looking at him. 

"Surprise me," he said in a flirty way.

I rolled my eyes with my back still turned to him and pour a draft beer into and ice cold glass. I put the glass on a napkin in front of him. 

"Thank you ma'am," he said as he reached for the glass and brushing my fingers with his. I look up and see bright blue eyes looking back at me. My chest is suddenly on fire and warmth is rising up from my stomach. As I stare into his eyes I can see images of us together. Sort of like pictures that are flashing in front of me. His light brown hair flows around his ears, and I can see myself twirling it with my fingers. I can see him smiling at me while I brush my hair. I can see us in bed together.

"Are you okay ma'am?" I hear in the back of my mind after I snap myself out of it. 

"I need some air," I whispered as I ran outside. 

Trying to catch my breath in the midst of panicking I cant believe what had just happened. My mind is racing, thinking about a million things at once. 

I imprinted on him. A human I don't even know. This cannot be possible, only wolves imprint. Sean was my only mate, my only imprint. The warmth is different though. When I imprinted with Sean it felt like fireworks were shooting through my body anytime he walked by me. As for the images, that happened with Sean too. And now all I can feel is my betrayal to my deceased mate. Oh, how my heart aches. Tears start to form and I can feel my eyes getting puffy. 

At this point I am shaking. Its against the law for a wolf to be with a human. Declan could have me executed for even imprinting on him. Him. I don't even know his name.