Chapter Ten
846 Words
Johnny's P.O.V
I needed more information. She was pregnant.. this was her baby scan... Was it mine?
I mentally scolded myself. Of course, it would be, She wouldn't sleep with someone else.. but then again, How sure of that was I after catching her in bed with Ollie last night?
Mmm...Not that confident.
I decided to read some of her Journal entries and see what was going on...
Still no period. I'm going to have to get a test and just bite the bullet and see. I've missed periods before, due to the stress of everything going on, But, It's weird.. it feels different this time... I hope to god I'm not pregnant. Johnny wouldn't believe It was his, I know what he's like. He will refuse responsibility and probably try to force me into an abortion.
Did I want one?
That was all for that entry. Of course, I wouldn't have forced her into getting rid of it! If anything, It would have been the push I needed to leave Tara for good. Looking at the date on the scan, She was further along than her mother was.
Well, There it is, Those two red lines. positive. I'm pregnant. f**k!!
I've booked a doctors appointment to discuss my options. I still didn't know what I wanted to do, Shall I keep it? What would happen if I did? How would I explain it? I couldn't tell my mum who the father was, could I?! Maybe if I keep the baby, I could leave, move out... I don't know.
Really? She cared that much about me she'd leave home instead of telling her mum about us? She'd give up everything for her baby... Our baby?
There weren't any entries for a little while after that, It was a few weeks later when she wrote the next one. It was marked the date of the scan.
I heard the heartbeat for the first time today. I feel so close to the baby now. I couldn't believe how far along I am, I know I'm fat, but god! I'm 3 and a half months pregnant and I didn't even think I was pregnant until a couple of weeks ago! It's exciting though, In just a few weeks I'll be able to find out if I'm having a girl or boy!!! .. I just wish I could share this with Johnny...
That was the last thing she wrote. Wait, Was she having a girl or boy?! I looked through the drawer but there was nothing. Her last entry was dated nearly 3 weeks ago so, Surely she'd know now right?! f**k sake. How did I not notice she was bigger? Surely being over four months pregnant, I'd notice... But I didn't.
It's f*****g insane!
'Hello, Mum? Anyone home?'
SHIT!
I put her Journal back in her drawer and left her bedroom, Keeping the scan in hand. I needed to confront her about this.
Rushing down the stairs, She paused when she saw me, and I froze when I saw him. Why the f**k was Ollie here?
'I need to talk to you, Ollie, can you give us some time alone please?' He looked down at her, Nodding, He leaned down and kissed her cheek.
'Call me if you need anything'. There seemed to be a double meaning in his voice... Did he know?! I watched him with squinted eyes as he left. He was my best friend, but I was really starting to dislike him.
'What?' Putting her handbag down on the side, She walked towards me. Passing over the scan photo, She took it and I saw the panic suddenly appear on her face.
'Something you want to tell me?' I looked her over, With the new information, It was weird... I could tell now she looked slightly bigger. I wanted more than anything to take her in my arms and kiss her and tell her how sorry I was and how much I loved her, But I didn't dare move.
'Where did you get this!?'
'It doesn't matter, Are you pregnant?' Her eyes watered up. 'Are you?'
'Y-Yes'. My panic started to rise again.
'With my baby?'
'Yes... Does my mum know?' I shook my head. She looked down at the photo and tears dripped off her face. It made my heart sink to see her so upset. I walked over to her and opened my arms, WIthout looking at me, She fell into them and cried.
I could tell the emotion had been built up for a while, Having to hide the secret from me, from her mum.. from everyone. Doing this all alone. It must have been so hard.
'Do you know the gender?' She nodded against me. Did I want to know? Of course, I did! 'What is it?'
'A girl'.
'G-girl?' She nodded again 'I'm having a daughter?'
'Yeah'. All my panic and worry faded and happiness exploded inside me. I was going to have a daughter! I don't actually remember the last time I was this happy.
I was having a daughter.
- Writer
