Kindred Fate

Chapter Four

"Are you okay?" Tory asked me when I stepped into the apartment.

I gave her a quick smile and nod as I blinked my tears away, "I'm fine," I whispered, "Thanks for looking after the twins."

She shrugged her shoulder as she got up from the carpet, "No biggie, they were asleep the whole time." She skipped past me and out the door.

I closed the door behind her and stood there for a second before I went to my kids. They were really asleep. I took off my jeans, sweater and my shoes and put on my sweats. My life had been confined to the insides of these four walls. I didn't bother to go out or socialize; those weren't the reasons I was here. My day consisted of mixing baby formula, blending fruits and watching my children and also trying not to agonize over Ash.

My phone rang again and I felt my heart stopped. I walked slowly to my bed where it sat, wondering if this was the time I would answer his call. I laughed with relief when I saw Ann's name flash. I picked it up quickly, anxious to hear her voice again.

"Lee, is that you? Are you okay?" She asked frantically.

I laughed and cried at the same time. I missed her, I missed all of them, "Yes it's me and yes I'm fine." I heard Ann exhale with relief and then she sniffed. She was crying.

"How could you do this to us?" Maria scolded, she too was crying.

I felt the remorse way down on me again. This was the reason I never answered their calls, the guilt was too much for me to handle. "I'm sorry but I had to leave."

"Why?" she demanded.

"You saw those dolls. Sabrina and Baku were very clear on their intentions," I walked to the crib and knelt beside it, "I couldn't let that happen."

"Why did you leave without us? Remember the deal, we are always there for each other, we always stick together, remember?" Ann half yelled.

I put my hand through one of the crib holes and held my kids tiny feet in my hand. I needed them to keep me strong in my resolve, "You both have lives there. You both are finishing varsity soon, and what about Joe and Billy, you couldn't leave them."

"But what about you?"

"My life stopped being my own the minute they were born."

"You were practically dead when they were born. They wouldn't be your life if it wasn't for Ash," Ann articulated clearly how much I owed Ash. "What about him, did you think of him when you did this?"

"She's being selfish," I heard Billy's voice, it sounded distant but the distaste in his voice was very audible.

They made it sound like I was ungrateful and that I had repaid his saving my life by betraying him. I didn't see what I did as betrayal I saw it as not only saving our kids but ourselves. What was there to live for if they died under our watch? Ash handled loss worse than I did. The best example was the three hundred year old vendetta he wouldn't let go of which only seems to increase the collateral damage with each passing decade- my family is inclusive in that statistic.

I wasn't ungrateful or disloyal or selfish, I was faithful to Ash and I would do anything for him even if it meant causing him short-term pain for a long-term gain.

It hurt to know they thought very little of me. I couldn't have them all turn against me. I wouldn't be able to stand it. "He'll understand," I whispered.

"Understand what? That he's just lost another family? From where I'm standing I don't see him understanding that!"

"Ann, I'm not doing this to hurt him." My voice broke as I chocked on a sob, "I'm trying to make sure he doesn't lose another family, we both wouldn't survive if we lost the twins."

"Lee," Joe's voice sang through the receiver. I smiled shocked at how much I'd missed his voice too, "How are you, physically?"

"I'm good. Just some aches and pains but I'm dealing."

"The twins?"

"They are still tiny but they are good too." There was a long silence before I heard his voice again.

"You know what I'm really asking, don't you?"

Of course I knew. It was something we've all being worrying about. "No, they don't drink blood. They are pretty normal, they laugh, and smile and cry like every normal baby.... I think."

"Please, if something out of the ordinary happens, you need to promise me you'll come back," he pleaded; his voice warm and gentle as usual.

"I promise," I paused wondering why he wasn't scolding me. "Are you staying diplomatic about this? You haven't reproached me like the rest have."

"I understand what you are doing and why you are doing it. I kind of guessed it when you went missing. The rest are just hurt right now, but with time they'll come to understand and accept your decision. We just have to do our part in taking down Baku and Sabrina."

I felt relieved knowing Joe had my back. It made everything a decimal easier to bear. "Thanks."

"Your dad would have been proud. You are exactly the woman he wanted you to be."

The thought of my dad broke a piece of my heart, the image of his dead face still haunted me but knowing he would have been proud of me...

"My mom?"

"No and yes. Just like your mom but more you."

Unsure, "You think so?"

"I know so."

I paused as I contemplated asking the one question that had tortured me for days. I didn't want to know but yet again I really wanted to know. "How's Ash? Is he mad at me? Does he at least understand why I did this?"

"No, I'm not fine, yes I am past furious with you and no I don't understand why you are doing this to me!" Ash voice bellowed in the phone angrily but at the edge of it I could hear all his sadness and resentment. He hated me.

"Ash..." I whispered before my throat caved on me.

"Why don't you trust me to protect you?"

"I do trust you," I said wiping the flood of tears away, "It's just that now more than ever you don't need distractions and that's what we are."

"You are not a distraction," his voice went down a tone lower, "Please come back, please."

"I'm sorry but I can't do that," I stood up and walked to the small window, "You need to find Baku first."

"I can do that with you here."

"Ash, you've been chasing him for three centuries and you still haven't caught him. He's come close to killing me so many times..."

"Is that it? Is that why you left me, because I'm incompetent!" he yelled with so much anger it made me flinch.

"Try to understand. It was okay when it was just me he was trying to kill, now there are two kids caught in the cross fire and I can't allow that. I'm not going to let you lose two more children and I'm not going to lose the last of my family," I stopped and waited for him to say something but he kept quiet. "I love you so much Ash but I love our kids more and I hope it's the same with you. That's why I know the second I hang up you'll be out chasing down Baku," I sank to the floor my hand on my temple as I fought to reel in my emotions. "I love you... so very much Ash." I stammered then quickly hang up just in case he didn't say it back or he said that he hated me.

I sat on the ground and sobbed quietly as I watched my sleeping children hoping and praying it would all be over soon.