The Order of Elysia

Chapter 13- Confrontations

It was Alaric who first noticed that some of the other Disciples no longer treated Lilly with the same mistrust and rejection as before. Ever since their trip to the mainland, the general mood toward her seemed to have shifted for the better. Whether it was out of awe that she had dared to stand up to Thorndale, or because she had faced the Gorefang with such courage, or perhaps simply because she had saved a fellow Disciple from being devoured alive, Lilly wasn’t sure, but she couldn’t deny that her situation had changed in unexpected and oddly relieving ways, regardless of the citation she had gotten; after all, it was only her first citation and she did not plan to collect another one.

From time to time, she was now greeted at meals and in the city by her fellows, sometimes someone even started a casual conversation with her. What surprised Lilly most, however, was that Freya had approached her, a few days after the incident in the woods. Freya had come up to her during lunch and had offered a quiet but sincere apology for how coldly she had treated her. She admitted that it hadn’t really been Lilly’s background that had made her keep her distance, though she had indeed been sceptical when Lilly’s name had been called for the trial, but rather the fact that Lilly had seen her in a state of complete vulnerability. During the final test, Lilly had witnessed something Freya had spent most of her life hiding from others- the horrific trauma she had suffered at the hands of her mother.

Freya explained that she had struggled for days after the trial, plagued by flashbacks from her childhood and unable to separate reality from the feverish delirium the Brugmansia had inflicted on her mind. It was only once the poison had fully left her body that she had been able to think clearly again and leave the clinic, but when clarity returned, so did the memory of how Lilly had helped her.

It had deeply embarrassed her that someone she barely knew had seen her so broken. She hadn’t known if she could trust Lilly with that knowledge and her aloofness had been a misguided way of protecting herself. Her apology felt genuine, but Lilly wasn’t sure if she could forgive how Freya had treated her just yet, even if the reasons now made sense to her.

Still, hearing those simple words of gratitude, that long overdue thank you for pulling her out of the Chamber of Gods, soothed something within Lilly. In the days that followed, she learned that Freya had begun telling the other Disciples that Lilly had saved her life and that she was someone who could be trusted,

The leaves of the trees had already turned a rich shade of orange when Lilly visited the archery range on a quiet Sunday morning. Lilly had finally bought herself some new clothes, but when she had stood in the small shop surrounded by fine blouses and ornate garments, she had ultimately chosen something more practical than she would have liked to treat herself with. She had settled on two long-sleeved shirts, one in a pale blue that almost bordered on violet and a moss green one, which suited for combat training and a leather vest that would offer at least a bit more protection against harsh blows during practice, since handling the training staffs continued to be difficult for her.

Though her stamina had improved, her muscle strength was still lacking, leaving her with little realistic chance in close combat against most of the other Disciples. Warden Volker made an effort to support each of them individually, but Lilly couldn’t ignore the disappointed look on his face whenever he watched her struggle. Nevertheless, she hadn’t given up on improving her archery skills. A defence from a distance simply seemed safer, more attainable for her. On the Sundays she trained alone, the range was always deserted, a fact that explained why she always started so early in the morning.

Lilly wasn’t surprised that no one had offered her advanced training, like it had happened with Rurik, Kael and some others, but she couldn’t understand why Raven had been looked over- after all, she was one of the strongest fighters in the squad and her glyph was already becoming stronger, firing up her steel. Alaric probably wouldn’t have had the time for extra sessions anyways, since he often retreated to the men’s barracks to spend his weekends studying, but not supporting Raven was a waste.

About half an hour into her lonesome training, Lilly was startled by the sound of slow clapping behind her. She had just landed an arrow directly into the red-painted center of the straw target when the sound interrupted the morning quiet. She whirled around and of all people, it was Rurik who stood there. His arms were crossed, his stance aggressive in a slow, simmering way. Her heart skipped a beat as she was overly aware that she was alone with him on the wide training grounds and her grip tightened on her bow; a single arrow clutched in her left hand. At least he wasn’t accompanied by his two curly-headed lackeys.

"You have nerves to show up here all by yourself.”, his voice sneered. "I’m surprised you’d dare to get into my space, traitor.”, he added, eyes narrowing.

His space? The words scraped across her thoughts like iron on stone. The shooting range wasn’t his, it was public ground, part of their shared training rotation. That he even felt entitled to claim it as his own made her stomach twist, but it was the way he looked at her, like she was an intruder, not a fellow Disciple, that made the anger in her chest bloom. He had been one of those utterly unimpressed by Lilly’s conduct during the incident on the mainland; if anything, he had made it perfectly clear that he despised her just as much as before, if not more.

"Watch your words.”, Lilly hissed, slowly pulling the arrow and drawing the string taut, before directly aiming at him. He didn’t appear to be armed and she wasn’t about to give him a chance to shift the balance in his favour. His dark brown eyes flashed with hostility, but he didn’t flinch or seem the least bit unnerved by the arrow now aimed at his chest.

Rurik stood about fifteen meters away, but Lilly could still see him lift one corner of his mouth as he threw at her casually: "You won’t shoot me. You don’t have it in you."

Rurik sounded confident, too confident and his words found their way into Lilly’s head. A sliver of doubt crept in- what if he was right? He began to move toward her, slowly and unbothered, one step at a time.

"Feeling powerful now, are you? After slipping past the Gorefang by the skin of your teeth?", his voice was low and bitter.

"Personally, I would’ve loved to watch it tear your stomach open and feast on your guts." He took another step closer.

"What do you want from me?", Lilly snapped, her breath catching as she instinctively took a step back, as if she wanted to reclaim the space he kept invading.

"I have no idea why they even let you into the Order in the first place.", Rurik continued, his tone cold and condescending. "They should’ve executed you outright."

"Ask the Sovereign, not me.", Lilly shot back, her voice sounding more confident than she felt.

"You think you’re in the clear now, huh? Just because you managed to fool a few people into believing you’re honourable and brave." His eyes narrowed, his tone hardening. "But I see through you."

Lilly took another step backward, but Rurik’s strides were longer than hers and the space between them continued to shrink.

"What is your problem with me?”, Lilly pressed.

"You are my problem. After your father’s arrest, the Order got paranoid. My whole family was investigated and they tore apart our entire estate and took everything that held any value. And even though they found absolutely nothing, my family’s reputation is now tarnished thanks to your brood. No one wants to do business with my father anymore and that is entirely your family’s fault!”

Lilly’s eyes widened, no one had told her what far-reaching consequences her father's betrayal had carried and until now, she hadn’t found the courage to ask whether Raven and Alaric knew anything about it. "Is that why you’re here? Did they force you to serve too?”, she tried to soothe Rurik’s fiery temper and perhaps to find a small common ground between them, but Rurik kept advancing toward her, ignoring her attempts to smooth out the waves. Now only ten meters separated them.

"I already told you we were innocent. I came here voluntarily to clear my family’s name by offering my loyalty to the Order. I couldn’t have known that you, of all people, would show up here, but maybe it was divine providence that we met.”, his tone was vile and spiteful.

"I’m really sorry for what happened to your family! I didn’t know that, I knew nothing.”, Lilly pressed out, but Rurik approached further towards her. Pure hatred was written all over his face and Lilly kept stumbling backward as he caught up until only ten steps remained.

Lilly drew her bow tighter; the arrow still aimed directly at Rurik’s chest. Nothing she could say would calm the hatred Rurik felt toward her, but she wasn’t ready to shoot him. Nine steps... Eight steps. He was coming closer, too close to take a proper shot. Lilly paused; she knew she didn’t stand a chance against the burly man in a one-on-one fight, even though he wasn’t taller than 1.75 meters. Seven steps and then, something in his face changed.

When Lilly’s left hand released the pressure on the arrow, the world around her seemed to freeze for a moment. She had let go, she had simply released the arrow, the arrowhead aimed at his torso. She would pierce his chest, either right into his heart, or a few centimeters above. No. She didn’t want to become a murderer, she couldn’t.

Every cell in Lilly’s body seemed paralyzed; only her wildly pounding heart and her deeply rising lungs were not frozen. She didn’t want to hit him, didn’t want to kill him. No, no, no. It won’t kill him!

And just as she thought the arrow would pierce through the flesh of Rurik’s chest, it veered off its flight path, plummeting steeply downward. Lilly didn’t know if it was a gust of wind or simply a bad shot, but she was immensely relieved when the projectile pierced Rurik’s left hand instead of his chest. Rurik screamed out and Lilly let out a pressed laugh of relief. She hadn’t killed him!

Euphoria surged through her and she suddenly felt lighter, stronger than before. A wave of energy flowed through her and she wondered whether it was adrenaline or rather the joy of not having stained her hands. She felt a pleasant tingling on her skin and rubbed the spot beneath her left breast where the sensation was strongest. But the tingling wouldn’t subside and a thought pushed to the forefront of Lilly’s mind.

"You f*****g w***e. If it was to me, I would kill you right here.”, Rurik growled, visible pain in his expression.

Without listening to the rant that followed and without looking back at Rurik or the arrow protruding from his palm, Lilly slipped past him, threw her bow into one of the baskets standing next to the training building and ran as fast as she could to the communal washrooms.

Once she locked herself inside one of the toilet stalls, her heart pounded in her throat. Trembling, she loosened the laces of her vest and finally, carefully and gasping for breath, rolled up her shirt over her chest. When she looked down at herself, she could hardly believe it: a glyph, about the size of a small plum, adorned the skin above her heart. It bore the blurred shape of an arrow, curved and twisted, with an uneven shaft and a bent head. Interrupted circular lines wrapped around the arrow, layered in concentric rings.

Lilly had seen depictions of similar glyphs, showcasing bows and arrows, but seeing it shimmer on her own skin, made her heart take a leap. It looked so beautiful, with its intricate, silver outlines. The excitement and joy over the fact that she had received a glyph overwhelmed her just briefly, until she bitterly remembered that she was doomed to join the Priesthood and would spend her days praying. She felt deflated instantly and the joy over her glyph faded as quickly as it had come. Were the gods truly that cruel? Had they struck some silent pact with the Veil just to mock her, just like the Order mocked her by forcing her to serve them?

It made no sense to her- to tell anyone about the glyph, when her path had already been chosen by others. What good would it do to hand over that last piece of herself, only to be told she couldn’t use it? Part of her felt relief- at least she wouldn’t be placed under Thorndale’s command, but another part of her wanted to cry and scream at the injustice of it all. How could she bear carrying this mark, feeling its pull, knowing it would never be nurtured, never be trained, never become what it was meant to be? Admitting it to the Order would only awaken a hunger for something she would be forbidden to pursue. There would be no guidance, only denial, so she clung to the one thing she still had- this small, defiant secret. Keeping it hidden felt like reclaiming the faintest sliver of control in a life where every other choice had been made for her.

The only people she told about it were Alaric and Raven. Raven had immediately asked if she could see the glyph and so the three of them had walked together to the forest that encircled the city. Alaric was not allowed to enter the women’s barracks, so they had to find another place where Lilly could show them her glyph in privacy.

At the sight of the silver symbol, Raven remarked that it was a shame Lilly couldn’t join the Pathseekers, overlooking the bitter expression on Lilly’s face. Alaric, on the other hand, had studied the glyph with interest and had then muttered something on the lines of: "Man, I wish I could have seen you shoot Rurik with it.”

As she thought back to the moment the arrow hadn't pierced Rurik’s chest but instead veered off its path, she couldn’t help but wonder: Had her aim really been that terrible, or had it been her glyph that intervened and prevented something far worse? What had awakened the glyph? What had she done to earn the Veil’s favour- or its attention? Had it been her fear of becoming a murderer, so visceral and raw? The memory of the moment pulsed faintly beneath her skin, like a whisper etched into her very being. A crooked arrow, blurry and uncertain, but real.

When Lilly revealed to her friends that she had no intention of reporting her glyph to the Wardens, both Alaric and Raven had tried to convince her to do it anyway: "Maybe then you’ll join the Pathseekers after all.”, Raven had called out, while Alaric had wondered:

"Maybe Neachtain knows what kind of glyph this is.” But Lilly ignored their input, as being a Pathseeker under Warden Thorndale was not a positive prospect and talking to Neachtain wasn’t either.