Love Unexpected

Chapter 2 Edward

Damn I was definitely going to bring my car around, if me and Nat end up choosing Pittsburgh. The trek up to fifth avenue and the multiple stops made the journey on the bus way too long for one mile and a half! I headed towards the produce section the moment I got in, I needed a fruit or something. They were the first thing I saw. They simultaneously picked up large bags of oranges and potatoes which coincidentally burst open one after the other. They did the "pause and dumbfounded gaze" moment before hurrying into action. The woman went after the spillage on her side of the isle and the man pointed at two kids, a boy and a girl, by a shopping cart and told them to stay put with emphatic hand gestures before hurrying after his errand potatoes and oranges. I was about to step in and help the pick-up when I understood the reason for the exaggerated hand gestures. The boy's lips stretched in an impish smile and dashed toward me, quickly followed by his toddler sister on his way to God knows where! I stepped in his way and stopped the boy with a hand on his torso when he tried to dodge away from me.

-And where are we going in such a rush mister? I asked

-huh!

-I could swear I saw your father tell you to stay put! I said.

-I'm just going to get some candy?

-look behind you! I turned the boy around and we both watched his sister stumble around on weak legs trying to catch up. That is why your parents want you to stay put because they knew she would follow. What do you think would have happened to her if you'd ran any further?

-she could fall and hurt herself, or get lost? He asked unsure

- that's right, you're a very smart boy! I smiled, ruffling the boy's hair, I hurried to the toddler's side on her third trip over her own feet and picked her up holding out my hand for the boy. I walked them both to the abandoned cart. The mother noticed and hurriedly dropped her bag of fruit-legume haphazardly, and rushed to my side, apologizing profusely while reaching for her daughter. i captured her hands in one of mine before she made contact and gave her the clearly you're in the wrong look. I let go of her hands and did a little internal jig when she didn't reach for her kids again and kept staring at him, I tapped her on the wrist and she dropped her hands.

- Are you done picking up your potatoes and oranges?

- huh! She said, staggered and uncertain.

- why don't you go finish with the pick-up and me and your children will stay very visible and still by this cart while you and...

-Alexander?

- Yes, you and Alexander finish picking up your stuff.

-we wouldn't want to impose Erik, she said, pointing at her son, can be a bit of a handful.

- it's okay since I'm volunteering myself for this. Go on, we'll be fine. Me and Erik over here are going to do our best human statue impression! I said bending down to look at the brown haired blue eyed kid, isn't that right Erik?

-That's right, look mom I'm not moving! he singsong excitedly, bending his hand forward like a robot

- see that? he's a human robot! go ahead we'll wait here. wait, I didn't get your name?

-oh! I'... Sophia and that's Luna she answered pointing at her daughter

-Nice to meet you, you go ahead and we'll wait.

she hesitantly turned around and went back to her task, her husband gave her a questioning look and, when she just shrugged on her way to her abandoned bag. He turned his questioning stare to me and I pointed at the potatoes sill littering the floor. i was relieved when they started picking up after themselves, even if they kept glancing in my and their kids' direction after they took a quick hushed sidebar. I let out a dispirited sigh, and pushed down the impossible fantasies that popped up in my head like depraved weeds one after. it was clear they were married and despite the subtle hints of something in both of them i couldn't quite put my finger on that sparked my interest. Interest I made sure to shove down as it was never goin to amount to anything concrete. I knew it was a horrible idea to entertain finding out what it was that made me zero in on the both of them like a moth to a flame. Especially since there was a ton of other people in the store at present.

I like the fact that they took the trouble to attempt a furtive sidebar, especially if a person remembered that it was their kids, i was a stranger and clearly a few years younger, damn my stupid face. I liked that they tried not to offend, and i was old enough to know that i should stay in my lane, so i had every plan to return their kids and go on my merry way when they were done.

My parents had always taught me to have a healthy respect marriage, and the people who had the courage to embark upon such a complicated endeavor. So despite the raw submission in the wife and the certain je ne said quoi in the husband, I knew not to entertain assuaging my curiosity. but f**k did I want to, they where both so definitely my type that the whole five minutes I had to wait for them to finish, I kept repeating the same mantra over and over in my head "don't be that asshole! and hand them back their kids". which thank the heavens I did, or tried to...? because Luna clung to my neck screeching her tiny lungs out and Erik dodged his father's hand to hide behind me. So of course both parents gasped, throwing me a quizzical stare.

-I don't know what this is about, I didn't say nothing, I was just standing here! I hurriedly said confused as I pulled Erik from behind me and kneeled down so I was somewhat leveled with him, what is this about?

-I want candy!

-so...?

-I think you would be more reasonable about letting me having some candy goodness!

-oh, and you have a reason for wanting candy I can find convincing aside from you being a child with a sweet tooth?

-why yes! he answered cocky, rubbing his hands together.

-lets hear it then! i said my curiosity officially piqued.

-okay, you would agree that i was very nice about not running away and standing still while mom and dad did their thing, right? he asked sounding very much as precocious as he looked rubbing his hands like a third rate villain.

- you did!

-so in the name of positive reinforcement, I should get a treat!

- positive reinforcement?

-the introduction of a desirable or pleasant stimulus after a behavior. I read it in one of mom's parenting books.

- and how long are you going to expect these little positive reinforcement bribes for? I assume there will more of these shopping trips in you future, unless your parents decide to starve you.

-there will be, so I think bribes should happen until not running away becomes a learned behavior.

-indeed, and you get learned behavior from...?

-the discovery channel in a documentary about dog training.

-and how long does it take a dog to learn a new behavior?

- on average three months!

- so you expect bribe candy for three months.

-yes?

-no, you're not a dog, humans process information faster!

-two months?

-maybe if you were an average human but someone who knows the meaning of positive reinforcement at..., how old are you?

-seven and a half. he pouted

-right! at seven and a half knowing as much as you do you're definitely not the average human, so i propose one month!

-but these shopping trips only happen once a month!

-you came up with this line of reasoning, not me!

-maaaannn! so I only get candy today?

-I'm afraid so, and now on the account of learned behavior you can't run around without your parents permission anymore

-you manipulated me he gasped shocked, this didn't happen to him very often obviously.

-I would argue that you manipulated yourself into a corner. All of this was your idea!

-I should have had this conversation with my parents, the devil you know and all that.

-can't argue with that! I stood , so, mom and dad are you in agreement with this?

-yeah! she enthused, you're so good with him he usually talk circles around us

-glad to be of some help, now to you princess, why don't you want to go with mommy? I asked tickling her tummy

-you high like rolla...postar! she answered giggling.

-well, can't argue with that either, I am freakishly tall! I spun fast twice and she giggled harder, I looked questioningly at her parents who were smiling at me. should I follow you around or is it going to make you feel uncomfortable leaving you children with a stranger, I can walk in front of you if that'll make you feel more comfortable about this?

-are you sure you don't mind? Sophia asked, you probably have your own shopping to do?

-not really, it's Friday and I came here for a college tour. I have nothing but time!

-ok! Alexander said talking for the first time, he'd been quietly observing me this whole time, and it seems I passed whatever test it was because he relaxed slightly and finally said words. I think you walking in front will be better for us, we're going to toward the dairy section and then we'll do the isles.

-okay, come on Erik! I wiggled my fingers at him and he stepped toward me, when I had a hold of his hand i walked us in front of his parents putting some distance between us. enough that they could have some privacy but not so far as they could worry that I'd run off with their kids. i headed for the back of the store, because that usually seemed the norm with supermarkets. For the whole hour we spend walking around the store i would occasionally spin us all in circle just to keep Luna engaged, but for the most part she seemed content playing with my hair. In a valiant but useless attempt at looking older, I'd recently cut my hair in a faux hawk with a fade and texlaxed it so i didn't have to mess with it so much in the morning. Attempt, if i may say so myself failed spectacularly, it managed to make me look younger then my nineteen and three quarters. and yeah! the quarter had to be mentioned because it brought me closer to having a two in the front of my age than the terrible ones! while Luna busied herself trying to braid my hawk, i tried to gauge just how smart Erik was, and if i wasn't mistaken, i mean the kid could do basic differential equation of the top of his head. i was pretty sure he was a genius, when i asked him to explain his answers, his reasoning mirrored my own, a bit unrefined but that's to be expected of a seven year old. i qualified as a genius with an IQ of 165, so i would take my word for it, i usually did know best. But my mother, bless her heart, also taught me not to question grown people on how they raise their kids, so i filled the inkling on Erik in my if we get to know each other better file and let it go. We were nearing the end of the shopping spree, I think, when Alexander called Erik so they could go pick up his candy. I slowed down until i was walking with Sophia, Luna nodding off in my arms.

-you're good with children. she smiled pointing at her sleepy daughter

-yeah, i come from an African family, my aunts and uncles would leave their kids with me to babysit ever since I hit thirteen.

-really? Mexicans do that too! you have no idea how many times i had to babysit my cousins when i was younger.

- did your family also manage to only pick the days you had better, more interesting things to do, to saddle you with their offspring?

-yes, yes they did! she picked up a jar of tomato something, dropped it in the cart and turned to face me. you know i almost missed prom?

-why?

- because prom fell on the same day as my aunt's ten-year wedding anniversary, and my parents were also going somewhere. I don't really remember! Anyway, there were no grown-ups available, so my aunt was demanding I stay with her kids the youngest of which was four I think. she had completely abandoned the shopping cart, to me choosing instead to empty the shelves while she told me her story. it was a blessing that I was strong enough to push that full cart around with one hand or this would have been embarrassing. I would have hated to interrupt her, she looked so lively and cute.

- then what happened?

-like, first of all, she showed up a five with her kids and husband, tells me that everybody else was busy and I was the oldest of the cousins. which is true but still, it was prom! i tell her this and she's like this is about my marriage, can you really compare your prom to my marriage!

- Really! I gasped the way I did when my sister Celeste would spill the tea! Elle could sulk like it was an Olympic sport if she felt her tea was not received with the gusto it deserved.

-right? So I tell her that Gabriella was sixteen and could watch the cousins. That was obviously the wrong thing to say because she got so made telling me that I already had my quinces, and I was a discount Mexican for giving so much value to a western tradition. she was going off on me and i couldn't even say anything, because duh! she's my aunt. but thankfully my parents showed up in the midst of her rant. told her to leave the kids with them, sending me off to my room to get dressed for prom.

we turned to the next aisle to find Erik and Alexander arguing. Erik was hanging off the end cap of the shelves, feet dangling off the ground and one of his dad arm warped around his waist while the other tried to gently pry Erik finger open. Sophia rushed to them apologizing profusely to the me and the few customers around, and joined her husband in trying to divorce her son from the shelves. This was obviously the wrong thing to do because, Erik who had been relatively quite so far, took his mother action as incentive to choose violence and started screeching his f*****g lungs out and man was the boy loud!

Sophia quickly covered his mouth and i jus lost it, i honestly just cackled and they all stopped to stare at me. I waved my hand apologetically.

- Sorry, I didn't mean to offend I have a weird scene of humor. I made sure to wait staring into both their eyes until I was sure they were not insulted by my burst of inappropriate laughter to continue. Alexander, can you put the boy down please?

-but...

-just let him go and let me try something! thankfully he complied putting his son down, and Erik let go of the shelves and come talk to me, we started candy gate together after all! he threw me a calculating look and must have liked his odds because he came to me. what's wrong? I asked

- dad won't let me have the candy I like! he said pointing at a family size bag of assorted candy worth twenty five dollar that was almost as big as his sister.

- i can see why, that bag is almost as big as your sister, did we not agree on candy for today?

-we did, so this bag is candy for today!

- then I'm sorry i didn't make that clear before, you have beautiful teeth it be a shame if they rot. Did they not specify how much treat a dog was allowed to have in that dog training documentary you saw?

- they did.

-how much was it?

-ten percent of their daily calories, but I don't know how much calories I consume in a day

-that's fine i know how much grams of processed sugar is safe for a day. It's twelve grams of sugars on a 1600 calorie diet, and thirty six grams on a 2200 calorie diet. I'm feeling kind today so you go back out there and bring me all the candy you want, but make sure it totals thirty six grams of sugar. while he skipped to his task, his parents rushed at me

- how did you do that?

-he reminds me a lot of myself. This is how my mom dealt with me back then and I also know how to deal with me, I've lived nineteen and three-quarters of years in this body! as expected at the mention of my age they both snickered.

- three-quarters? Alexander asked

- It bears mentioning that I'm a few months away from leaving my terrible teen.

-why are they terrible teen? Sophia asked her curiosity piqued. lots of partying?

-not really a lot less then the average teenager to be certain, being a teenager just made it difficult for me to do some of the things I wanted to do.

-like what, drinking? she continued

-no underage drinking is quite common in L.A, but anyway back to Erik just explain things to him! normal explain, not kid explanations those always have too many inconsistencies.

-obvious change of subject! Alexander snarked

-Right, it was intended to.

-does that mean we can't put our foot down? Sophia asked, not keen on that idea at all.

-Lord no, he's only taking enough candy to eat in a day, he'll get even less if you make him share with is sister! it just means that putting your foot down has to come along with a few more words.

-oh! okay, here he comes! she whispered frowning at her kid. if we check are both those bags going to amount to thirty-six?

- yes mom, look. she gave the bags a perfunctory look and nodded at him

-let's go pay for these things, I'm ready to go home