More Than Rivals

Chapter 9: A Little Too Close

I spent the entire weekend pretending I wasn't thinking about Toby.

It wasn't working.

Not even a little.

Every time I picked up my phone, I found myself checking whether he'd messaged me.

Every time someone mentioned baseball, I thought about Friday night.

And every time I remembered the way he'd looked at me from across the stadium, something strange happened to my stomach.

I hated it.

Mostly because I couldn't explain it.

Toby and I were friends.

That was all.

Friends could go to each other's games.

Friends could study together.

Friends could text each other every day.

Friends could walk each other home.

None of that meant anything.

Right?

I was still arguing with myself about it when I walked into class Monday morning.

Toby was already sitting in my usual seat.

I stopped beside the desk.

"You're in my seat."

He looked up.

"Good morning to you too."

"Move."

"No."

"Toby."

He smiled.

"There's another seat."

"That's my seat."

"You weren't here."

"I am now."

He leaned back.

"Then sit beside me."

I stared at him.

"You're unbelievable."

"Thank you."

I dropped my bag beside him.

"You know, you're becoming very comfortable."

"With you?"

"With annoying me."

He smiled.

"I think you secretly enjoy it."

"I don't."

"Sure."

The professor walked in before I could respond.

I opened my notebook.

Toby leaned toward me.

"You're wearing your hair differently."

I looked at him.

"You noticed?"

"Of course."

I touched the end of my hair.

"It's nothing."

"I like it."

My heart did that stupid thing again.

I looked back at my notes.

"Thanks."

He smiled.

Then, thankfully, the professor started talking.

---

After class, Toby caught up with me outside.

"Wait."

I turned.

"What?"

He jogged over.

"You're free?"

"For what?"

"Lunch."

"You're asking me to lunch?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I'm hungry."

I laughed.

"You can eat without me."

"I could."

He looked at me.

"But I'd rather not."

I didn't know what to say.

So I shrugged.

"Fine."

We walked toward the student center.

The conversation was easy.

It always seemed to be now.

That was what worried me.

There was no effort anymore.

No awkwardness.

No constant arguments.

Being around Toby had become comfortable.

Too comfortable.

We sat across from each other while we ate.

He stole one of my fries.

I slapped his hand.

"Stop."

"You weren't eating it."

"I was going to."

"Eventually."

"Give it back."

He held it up.

"It's already gone."

"You are disgusting."

He laughed.

"You still like me."

I froze.

He froze too.

The words had come out without thought.

He slowly smiled.

"I mean..."

"I know what you meant."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

He leaned back.

"Okay."

I looked down at my food.

Neither of us spoke for a moment.

Then I said, "You're weird."

"You're avoiding the subject."

"What subject?"

He smiled.

"Exactly."

I kicked his foot beneath the table.

He laughed.

---

That afternoon, we ended up in the library.

Again.

I was beginning to think Toby had forgotten the university had other buildings.

We were working on our project when he suddenly said, "I need your opinion."

"On what?"

"My presentation."

"What's wrong with it?"

"Everything."

I took his laptop.

"This is actually good."

He looked offended.

"Actually?"

"Yes."

"You sound surprised."

"I am."

He laughed.

I went through his slides, making a few corrections.

He watched me.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You're staring again."

"Maybe I like watching you work."

I looked at him.

"Why?"

"You're focused."

"So?"

"It's cute."

I blinked.

He looked down at his laptop.

I stared at him.

He pretended to be very interested in his presentation.

"Toby."

"What?"

"Did you just call me cute?"

"No."

"You did."

"I said you're focused."

"And that was cute?"

"Maybe."

I shook my head.

"You're impossible."

He smiled.

"And yet you're still here."

I didn't answer.

Because I didn't have one.

---

We stayed until the library was almost empty.

When we finally left, it was already dark.

Campus looked different at night.

The pathways were quieter.

The lights from the buildings reflected against the pavement.

Toby walked beside me.

Neither of us spoke for a while.

Then he said, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you trust me?"

I looked at him.

"That's random."

"I know."

I thought about it.

"Yes."

He nodded.

"Why?"

"Because..."

I paused.

"Because you haven't given me a reason not to."

Something crossed his face.

It was there for only a second.

Guilt.

Or maybe I imagined it.

He looked away.

"That's good."

"What?"

"Nothing."

I frowned.

"You're being weird."

"Maybe."

We reached my dorm.

I turned toward him.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Neither of us moved.

I looked at him.

He looked at me.

The silence stretched.

His eyes dropped to my lips.

My heart started pounding.

He stepped closer.

I stopped breathing.

Then he smiled softly.

"See you tomorrow."

I blinked.

"Yeah."

He turned and walked away.

I stood there for several seconds.

Then whispered to myself,

"What the hell was that?"

---

The next afternoon, Toby found me outside the library.

He looked unusually serious.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You've asked me that twice this week."

"Just answer."

"Okay."

"My dad is having dinner Friday."

I waited.

"And?"

"I want you to come."

I stared at him.

"To your house?"

He nodded.

"Why?"

"Because I want him to meet you."

Something about the way he said it made me pause.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

I studied his face.

He looked nervous again.

Not the joking kind.

Actually nervous.

"Okay."

His shoulders relaxed.

"Really?"

"Really."

He smiled.

"Thanks."

I smiled back.

Neither of us knew it yet, but that dinner would change everything.

Because I was about to meet the man who had spent years shaping Toby into someone who believed nothing he did was ever enough.

And Toby was about to let me see the part of him he usually kept hidden.

The part that had nothing to do with baseball.

Nothing to do with popularity.

And everything to do with the boy underneath it all.