More Than Rivals

Chapter 11: The Moment We Couldn't Ignore

I avoided Toby for three days.

Not because I was angry with him.

That would have been easier.

I avoided him because I didn't know what to do with the way I felt.

Every time I remembered his hand in mine as we walked through his house, my stomach twisted.

Every time I remembered the way he'd looked at me on the porch, I felt my cheeks heat up.

And then there was the almost-kiss.

The fact that it hadn't happened should have made things easier.

It didn't.

If anything, it made it worse.

Because now I knew what it felt like to stand that close to him.

And I knew I wanted it.

That was the problem.

I didn't want to want Toby.

He was supposed to be my annoying friend.

My study partner.

The guy who stole my fries and irritated me for entertainment.

Not the guy I caught myself looking for whenever I entered a room.

Unfortunately, Toby didn't seem interested in giving me space.

On Monday morning, he was waiting outside my lecture hall.

I saw him before he saw me.

I almost turned around.

Almost.

Then he looked up.

His face lit up.

"Hey."

I smiled despite myself.

"Hey."

He walked toward me.

"I haven't seen you all weekend."

"We saw each other Friday."

"Exactly. Too long."

I laughed.

"You survived."

"Barely."

He fell into step beside me.

"Are you avoiding me?"

"No."

"You're lying."

"I'm not."

"You've been ignoring my messages."

"I've been busy."

"You've been busy for three days?"

"Yes."

He stopped walking.

I stopped too.

He looked at me.

"Did I do something?"

The question caught me off guard.

"No."

"Then why are you acting weird?"

I looked away.

"I've just had a lot going on."

He studied my face.

"Okay."

There was something in his expression.

Disappointment.

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

He nodded.

"If you need space, I'll give you space."

I looked at him.

"Thank you."

He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"See you later."

He walked away.

I watched him go.

And immediately hated myself for making him look like that.

---

By Wednesday, I couldn't take it anymore.

I found him sitting alone outside the baseball field after practice.

He was still in his uniform, his helmet lying beside him.

I walked toward him.

He looked up.

His expression softened when he saw me.

"Hey."

"Hey."

I sat beside him.

He looked at me.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

I nodded.

"I'm sorry."

His eyebrows pulled together.

"For what?"

"For avoiding you."

He was quiet.

Then he smiled.

"I knew it."

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't ruin my apology."

"I'm not."

He nudged my shoulder.

"I missed you."

My heart stumbled.

"I missed you too."

The words slipped out before I could stop them.

We both froze.

Toby looked at me.

I looked at him.

Then he smiled.

"Good."

I laughed nervously.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Make it weird."

"I'm not making it weird."

"You are."

"I'm just happy."

I shook my head.

He laughed.

For a moment, everything felt normal again.

Then his phone rang.

He checked the screen.

His smile disappeared.

Again.

"Your dad?"

He nodded.

He answered.

"Hello?"

I couldn't hear the other end.

But I could hear the change in Toby's voice.

"I have practice."

Pause.

"No, I can't."

Another pause.

"I said I can't."

His jaw tightened.

"Because I have class."

Silence.

Then:

"I know what the scouts want."

His expression hardened.

"I'm trying."

Another pause.

"I am trying."

He hung up.

He stared at his phone.

I waited.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

He stood.

"I have to go."

"Toby."

He shook his head.

"Not now."

He walked away.

I watched him disappear into the locker room.

Something told me this wasn't over.

---

That evening, Toby's father came to campus.

I didn't know that until I saw them.

They were standing outside the athletic building.

Richard Carter looked furious.

Toby looked exhausted.

I was too far away to hear everything, but I could see the argument.

Toby gestured toward the building.

His father shook his head.

Then Toby said something.

Richard stepped closer.

Even from where I stood, I could see Toby's hands shaking.

I should have walked away.

I probably would have if I hadn't seen his father point toward the baseball field.

Then toward Toby.

Whatever he said made Toby's face fall.

I didn't think.

I walked toward them.

"Toby?"

Both men turned.

Toby's eyes widened.

"Zikora."

Richard looked at me.

"Excuse us."

Toby immediately said, "Dad."

Richard ignored him.

"This is a family matter."

I stopped.

"I know."

Toby looked between us.

"Please."

His voice was quiet.

I stepped back.

"I'm sorry."

I turned to leave.

Then I heard Richard say:

"You're throwing away everything I've built for you."

I stopped.

Toby's voice came next.

"I never asked you to build my life."

Silence.

I turned around.

Richard looked furious.

"You have no idea what I've sacrificed."

"And you have no idea what I'm losing."

"What you're losing?"

Toby laughed bitterly.

"Myself."

Richard stared at him.

Toby shook his head.

"I can't do this anymore."

He walked away.

His father called after him.

"Toby!"

He didn't stop.

I followed.

---

I found him behind the athletic building.

He was sitting on the steps with his head in his hands.

I sat beside him.

He didn't look up.

"Go home, Zikora."

"No."

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

He sighed.

"You shouldn't have seen that."

"I know."

"You don't understand."

"Then explain it."

He looked at me.

His eyes were red.

"My dad got an email from one of the scouts."

I waited.

"They're interested."

"That's good."

He laughed.

"Yeah."

I frowned.

"It doesn't sound good."

"They want me to commit to a program after graduation."

"Okay."

"He wants me to."

"And you?"

He looked away.

"I don't know."

I was quiet.

He rubbed his face.

"I love baseball."

"I know."

"But sometimes I think I only love it because he taught me that it's the one thing I'm supposed to be good at."

I looked at him.

"What do you want?"

"I don't know."

"You keep saying that."

"Because I don't."

He looked frustrated with himself.

"I don't know who I am without baseball."

I reached for his hand.

He looked down at our fingers.

"I think you're allowed to figure that out."

He squeezed my hand.

"My dad doesn't think so."

"I'm not your dad."

He laughed weakly.

"Thank God."

I smiled.

"Exactly."

He looked at me.

Then his smile disappeared.

"I don't want to disappoint him."

"You aren't responsible for making your father happy."

"He sacrificed his career for this family."

"And that doesn't mean you owe him your entire life."

He stared at me.

"You really believe that?"

"Yes."

He looked down.

"I wish I could believe it too."

I moved closer.

"You will."

He shook his head.

"What if I don't?"

"Then I'll remind you."

He looked at me.

"Why?"

"Because that's what friends do."

He smiled faintly.

"Friends."

"Yes."

He nodded.

"Right."

But the way he said it made the word feel different.

---

We stayed there until the sun disappeared.

Eventually, Toby stood.

"Come on."

"Where?"

"I'll walk you home."

"You always do that."

"I know."

He smiled.

We started walking.

The campus was quiet.

Most students were inside.

The air had turned cold, and I rubbed my arms.

Toby noticed.

He took off his jacket and placed it around my shoulders.

I smiled.

"Again?"

"You're cold."

"I'm fine."

"You're shivering."

"I am not."

"You are."

I pulled the jacket tighter.

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

We kept walking.

When we reached my dorm, I turned toward him.

"Are you going to be okay?"

He nodded.

"Eventually."

"Promise?"

He looked at me.

"I promise."

I smiled.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I turned toward the entrance.

"Zikora."

I looked back.

He was standing there, staring at me.

"What?"

He walked closer.

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

My heart stopped.

"Toby..."

"I mean it."

He stepped closer.

"I know we're friends."

I nodded.

"But lately..."

He stopped.

"What?"

He looked at me.

"I don't know how to explain it."

I couldn't either.

Maybe we didn't need to.

He reached up and gently touched my cheek.

I stopped breathing.

He gave me enough time to pull away.

I didn't.

His eyes dropped to my lips.

Then he leaned closer.

Slowly.

Carefully.

And this time, there was no interruption.

His lips touched mine.

Softly.

Almost hesitantly.

For one second, I forgot how to breathe.

Then I kissed him back.

His hand moved from my cheek to the side of my face, and my fingers caught the front of his shirt.

Everything I'd been trying not to feel came rushing forward at once.

The butterflies.

The confusion.

The fear.

The excitement.

All of it.

When we pulled apart, neither of us spoke.

We just looked at each other.

Toby smiled.

I couldn't help smiling too.

"Wow," he whispered.

I laughed softly.

"Don't."

"I'm not."

"You are."

He smiled again.

"I've wanted to do that for a while."

My heart fluttered.

"How long?"

He thought about it.

"Long enough."

I looked down.

"Goodnight, Toby."

"Goodnight, Z."

I turned and walked toward the dorm entrance.

Before I went inside, I looked back.

He was still standing there.

Still watching me.

I smiled.

Then I disappeared inside.

I leaned against the closed door and covered my face with both hands.

I had just kissed Toby Hayes.

And somehow, the scariest part wasn't the kiss.

It was how badly I wanted to do it again.