The past two months have been tough for my family. It was hard seeing Lydia become a shell with no emotions. The doctor told us my cousin wouldn't be able to walk again. Lydia hadn't taken that news lightly, as she had cried over her inability to dance again.
Of everything, she wouldn't be able to do again, not being able to dance was like a death sentence to her.
Lydia shined brightest when she was dancing ballet, flying gracefully as she moved on her toes. The news of her accident with the tech billionaire had taken the world by storm, but the news of her inability to walk again had been taken much harder by her numerous fans all over the world.
Each time I set my eyes on my unsmiling cousin with the faraway look in her eyes, I would be filled with so much guilt I felt like I would burst from it.
Erick and I hadn't spoken much to each other since that fateful morning. He avoided me and I did the same. His wounds from the accident had long healed, and now he hovered over my cousin. He left the hospital long enough to attend to his company and returned straight to Lydia's side. The devotion with which he stood by her side these past months was incredible.
One day, I was busy arranging Lydia's favorite flowers, the tulips, many of which had been sent by her numerous admirers, when she suddenly asked me a question.
“Ari?” she called softly from her spot on the bed.
“Hm, ” I answered absentmindedly, thanks to my preoccupation with the tulips.
“I want to die. Will you help me die?” she whispered like she didn't want any other person to hear.
I instantly dropped the flowers and ran to her side. Her brown eyes were like a dull orb.
“Lydia, please don't say that. We don't want to lose you. We love you.” I cried like a baby, not wanting a world without my cousin.
“I can't dance, Lydia. I can't dance. I also can't walk. I can't run. I probably wouldn't be able to get married and have children too.” The more she kept mentioning what she wouldn't be able to do, the more anguished her tears became.
“There is still hope. There is still hope, Lydia. Trust me. We will find the best doctors money can buy and you will see that surely you will do all these things.” I assured her vehemently.
The next day, I visited only to see a smiling Lydia with my aunt and grandmother.
“Ari, I am getting married. Erick proposed to me.” She announced to me excitedly.
My smile was at first hesitant before it turned into something close to real.
I walked in and wrapped my arms around her frail body. She really hadn't been eating much after the accident. She only ate when Erick fed her or when my aunt fed her on days he had to travel for business.
“I am so happy for you, cuz. Didn't I tell you? You have an amazing man beside you, and he will move the earth and heavens to make you happy.”
“I want you to be my maid of honor. Please tell me you'll be my maid of honor.” The shine in her sunken eyes made me respond before I could even think about it.
“Of course, my dear. She obviously knows it's her duty.” My grandmother declared.
I didn't want to argue with my grandmother because there was no point. I agreed.
“Who else who do it if not me?” I said in return, even though I knew I would gladly give another person that role.
I couldn't imagine watching her get married to Erick after what I had done.
“She could ask me, and I'll do it,” My aunt said with a shrug.
“Oh, shut up! You know maid of honor duties is not a role for an old maid like you.”
Aunt Lucia gasped dramatically, acting offended as she placed her left hand on her chest. Lydia laughed out as she watched our aunt and grandmother bicker. The sound was like music to my ears.
After pretending to be happy for about an hour, I excused myself and walked out of the room. In my hurry, I didn't see the figure up ahead of me till we collided.
Calloused hands steadied me, holding me to a solid chest so I would not fall. I didn't need to look up to know whose hands were around me.
Silent tears began to fall down my cheek and instead of pushing me away like I expected, he drew me into his suit-covered chest and began to run a hand down my hair.
“You proposed.”
I was sincerely happy for Lydia, but something in me was greatly broken and hurt.
“I had to. It is what is best for everyone.”
I wanted to ask if I was part of everyone because it didn't feel like I was.
His arms tightened around me for a brief moment, and he kissed my forehead before he released me and left me standing with my arms wrapped around my middle and my head bent. Angry at myself for crying, I wiped my tears away and raised my head up.
I found my uncle staring at me with a look in his kind eyes that I had never seen directed at me before.
Disappointment.
“Uncle, I…”
He walked past me without uttering a word.