The Spare Girl [M/F/F]

Chapter 28

“Julie? Can I talk to you for a minute?”

I paused at the classroom door. Simon glanced back at me with a raised brow. I could only look back at him with my own confused face. Clutching my notebook to my chest, I turned to face Nate.

“S-Sure,” I said with a shaky breath. Against all my strength, I couldn’t stop the tremor in my hands. With a quick look behind me, I found that Simon had left with the rest of the class. Which meant that I was alone with Nate in his classroom.

I tried to not let my thoughts wander, but it was hard not to when this was probably one of the biggest fantasies in porn. Girls would die to have their teachers to want them. 

I never understood until now.

Nate leaned against the front of his desk. There was no need for him to ask me to come closer. With just the look, scanning me from head to toe, I knew what he wanted from me. I fought against it for a second. My body wanted to go willingly, but I was still unsure how far I wanted to take this. On a s****l level this might be the right step forward, but on other levels, I wasn’t looking forward to being hurt.

“What is this about?” I hadn’t meant for the question to sound so targeted.

Even Nate looked a little taken aback. I tried to not read into the look too much.

My eyes fell to the paper still sitting on his desk. There were a few red pen marks, but not that many.

“Your essay…” He started, then picked up the paper I’d been eyeing. “You picked an interesting topic.”

I bit my lip to stop the remark from slipping out. My grip tightened on my notebook.

“Interesting?” I don’t know why I was getting irritated. I wanted to blame it on being held back, but I knew deep down that I didn’t mind too much if it meant spending more alone time with him. I still didn’t understand the sudden onslaught of emotions.

The facts were staring me in the face. They couldn’t be ignored forever. Nate was watching me and I wondered what he saw when he looked at me. I imagined it was a girl that didn’t know anything about the world he was a part of. That was true. The only things I knew about b**m were that there were dominants and submissive. There were s****l undertones, but it wasn’t about s*x most of the time. He and Amelia had chosen the wrong person. I wasn’t looking to be dominated. I wasn’t looking to give up my freedom.

He hummed, a slight inflation at the back of his throat. He fingered the page and then turned to the next.

“A Study into the Minds of BDSM.”

I cringed at the title. Last night hadn’t been good for me. My essay had been pulled out of me like ripping my own teeth out.

He sat it down. I made sure to avoid his gaze and instead focused on the pattern in the floor tiles. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“The assignment was to pick something we didn’t understand, Mr. Stockham.” I glared up at him. My hands shook harder. “Is there something wrong with what I picked?”

He was silent. I swallowed and looked back down.

This was going differently than I ever thought it would. I’d dreamed that I would be swept off my feet or that I we would never talk again. Instead, I hated him so much that it made me want him more.

The worst of it all was that he’d been a stranger not too long ago. He’d come into my life, wrecked it, and thought he could still have me. The pure arrogance of it made my blood boil.

“There’s nothing wrong with it.”

He crossed his arms. I prepared myself to be reprimanded for writing about such a topic. Though he’d been the one to introduce the confusing concept to me. I should have never written my paper on it, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was only when I’d gotten my frustration out, writing about the thing tormenting me, that I’d been able to sleep.

“Is this your way of agreeing to our terms?” 

I balked.

When I met his eyes, I almost fell over. His gaze was intense, more so than it usually was. Something lingered on his face for a second before disappearing.

I licked my lips, fumbling for the words to refuse him. Trapped, alone with him, made my thoughts fuzzy.

He didn’t wait any longer. The paper fell from his hand, sliding across the desk. With one short step, he was in front of me. I almost thought he was going to kiss me, but he kept his distance. My cheeks flushed at my own assumption. Of course he wasn’t going to kiss me. We were in a classroom for f***s sake.

“Amelia scared you.” Not a question.

I wanted to touch him. Anywhere, it didn’t matter. I just wanted to feel his skin on mine for one more time.

“I’m not scared.”

My voice went against my words. They were fake, hollow, and I couldn’t say anything else to explain what I meant.

“We’re not asking you to do anything you don’t want to.” He leaned closer, but still kept a fair bit of distance. To anyone watching, it might just look like a regular talk between teacher and student. “Amelia tends to be overbearing at first. She’ll come around in time.”

“What if it doesn’t work?” My heart skipped painfully at the thought. “What if you don’t want me after all?”

His eyes flickered to my lips. I licked them unconsciously. 

“That’s not going to happen, Jules.”

Those words were the nails in the coffin.

He turned and picked up my essay. “Come over and we’ll talk more.”

He slid the paper into his bag and pulled out a slip of paper. He scrawled an address on it before handing it to me.

I reached for it and at the last second, he pulled it away. I glared at him. He was grinning.

“Still scared?”

I snatched the paper from him.

“I never was.”