The Spare Girl [M/F/F]

Chapter 38

He looks up and to the side. His forehead wrinkles as he thinks. I know he’s older than me. But when he looks like this, there doesn’t seem to be an age gap. He looks like he could have been in my high school, like I could have known him from my childhood. It’s also these small moments where I see how disconnected he sometimes feels. He’s this powerful person in some aspects. As a teacher and as a man of wealth. However, there’s this other side of him that feels like he’s a young boy that doesn’t know much about the world. He does, of course. He’s married and he teaches college students. 

The person, the disconnect, feels like something I made up in my head when he’s the first. It’s only here, these small glimpses, in which I can see that it isn’t a figment of my imagination. He’s a person, flesh and blood, with feelings just as I do. It makes me feel better in some ways, but it makes my heart hurt more when I think about the ring on his finger.

“Bella has the weekends off and though it’s her job, I don’t like leaving preventable messes for her to clean up.” He said it in a calm and soft voice. 

My eyes fall to his lips. Then I flicker them to the hall. 

There are large paintings framing the arch that leads to a larger looking foyer. The bottom of the staircase leading to the second floor peaks from the archway. 

The splashes of color brings out how white the place is. It doesn’t feel empty as I first thought. The more I look around, the more it feels like this could be a second home. Though it’s cleaner than I’ll ever be used to, there is a clear distinction between someone living in a place and a place that is merely for show. 

His hand slides down to my waist. 

I give a nervous laugh and move away from him. “We’re just talking, right?”

As much as it hurt to force myself away from him, I knew that this wasn’t the road I wanted to go down. There was a reason why he’d asked me to call them. They had rules to this thing they wanted with me. Those rules were also going to keep me safe from falling deeper down this blackhole. I wanted so badly to just let myself go, let them take me without worrying about wanting more out of this relationship. I think I could handle s*x. I mean, I’ve already done so much with them. What was the difference when it was both of them at the same time?

There was a snap within me that I couldn’t quite place. I didn’t trust that I wasn’t going to want more. I already wanted so much that I couldn’t have. 

“Right,” he said back. The once bright smile is gone from his face. He’s serious now. Rigid and intimidating. That fear brings me back down to reality. 

It feels like I’ve been through this a million times. It has been more than I should think about this thing. I’ve already said yes, but it’s a tug and pull that is ripping me apart at the limbs. 

We walk through the small walkway and into the bigger room that is just for the staircase. To the left is a dining room and to the right is a living room. The living room has a white couch, a mounted flat screen tv above a fireplace, and large windows that look out into the massive garden. Farther in, I can see two glass doors that lead to a small study. 

Nate leads me into the room just as Amelia appears with a glass of water. I nervously sit down on the white couch. Amelia sets the water in front of me on the glass coffee table. The ice cubes clink in the scotch glass. 

I lick my lips, only now noticing how thirsty I am. 

“Thank you,” I say and pick up the glass. I drink it down until there’s nothing.

I sheepishly smile, setting the glass down, and tucking my hair behind my ear. I should say something. I don’t know what the hell I should say though. They’re the ones that initiated this. They want to tell me what to do. 

Amelia sits on the arm of the white couch. Nate relaxes into the chair across from me. Even with the front door so close and another set of doors that lead outside to the garden, I feel trapped. My stomach tosses and turns as I try to keep down my breakfast. 

Amelia is the one to break the awkward silence.

She brushes her hand over my head.

“Amelia.” Nate shakes his head. 

There’s that face again. That’s the one that says he’s in control now. He’s the boss.

Amelia pulls a smirk, tempting him to do something, but she retreats. I let out a sigh I didn’t know I was holding as her hand moves away. The warmth again makes me want to do things that I shouldn’t. This was in the name of money. I’d didn’t actually want this.

A pregnant pause happens between them. The unease eats at my stomach. 

He leans back in his chair. “Get the file.”

With ease, she slips off the couch. I watch her go for a moment.

“Julie.”

I look back at him. He’s watching me. Calculating with a finger resting against his cheek. The moment lingers and I almost forget that we’re supposed to be talking about the contract.

I know nothing about what goes on in the b**m world. I only know there are a lot of things that can go wrong and so many different things that someone would want to get from entering this type of relationship. What I didn’t know was what Nate and Amelia wanted. Well, control was a good starting point. But what would I want from this besides money?

As if he was reading my mind, Nate asked that very question.

“When you met me, what did you want from me?”

I balked. I was glad I’d drank all that water because I would have spit it all over their nice living room. 

The night I met Nate came back in a series of moments. I shut the ones with Melanie out and thought about how good it had felt to be on my knees for him.

My cheeks flushed. I coughed.

“Um…” I looked down at my hands in my lap and then around the room. I avoided him as much as I could. “There wasn’t—“

“Tell the truth. Be honest,” he said. He sat forward with his elbows on his knees. “Even if it’s not what I want to hear. If you’re going to be with us, you have to tell the truth whenever we ask you anything.”

I bit the inside of my cheek.

“I wanted you. That was it.”

He raised a brow.

“Me or my body?”