Broken Luna

The Survivor

chapter will have violence and mentions of r**e.

The rest of the day went by fast. I kept finding my mind being drawn back into the thoughts of the stranger that had just about had me wanting to jump his bones with just his voice. f**k I never expected to get turned on by a voice… And his touch. It set fire to my bones.

Made me feel alive. And after I’d fled the most peculiar thing I noticed was the scent that stayed with me. I knew I’d always had a good nose - rather been cursed with it considering the life I live. But I could swear the smell of him lingered. It made me shiver with want.

And it just left me confused.

Sex and intimacy had been seen as a chore for the entirety of - well. Forever. It had rarely felt pleasant to me. It wasn’t that no one had ever managed to give me an orgasm. But that had more been skill then my wanting it.

After all - my job was to get the client off. No one really gave a f**k if I got anything good out of the transaction. Ninety nine percent of the time I just faced it. None the wiser.

I tensed at the weird noises that old voice in my head was making. A growl - I swear it growled again. I didn’t know what it was surfacing now. I remember it when I was little. But after some rather unpleasant and traumatic experiences.

I’d thought the odd voice would be gone forever. Well. Perhaps I was just slipping into some sort of psychosis. That should hardly be a shock. Considering the woman that gave birth to me.

The voice felt more animal. I didn’t get it.

You will… Soon.

I jumped at the voice in my head. While it did always feel like it was apart of me. It still felt … separate at the same time.

How the f**k did that work anyways?

Distracted once again - I found myself running into someone once again. This time there wasn’t the warm tingles running through me as the person gripped her arms.

This time it was rough. Painful. I didn’t have to look up to know who it was. “M-master I am sorry,” keeping my head bowed and hating myself for stammering. It was hard to know what he would do. If he would beat me for the mistake, yell at me, or be forgiving.

I never could figure out his moods. They never seemed to be consistent or reliable. More often than not it was brutality that won out.

Bruising - that was how tight the grip was, “oh little Judas. You’re lucky I have a client for you tonight that has paid extra to be the one to bruise your pretty little body. And he’d be disappointed to find fresh marks on you, little whore.”

The voice was cold. I pushed back the cutting slice of pain in my chest at his words. Trying to find a place of numbness, “I do not deserve your mercy, Master Matthias…” - hating how weak my words sounded. How pathetic I sounded. But it wasn’t about being strong.. So much as survival.

I dare not look up. “You’re right. You don’t. You’ll get it after you return. I’ll tell the guard to dump you in my room after…” I could hear the cruel pleasure he was getting out of this, “Alive or dead-” He always did that, downplayed the value of all of his whores lives - “ now that you’re a woman now, little Judas… Maybe you can actually please me better…”

The racing in my chest doesn’t stop. I close my eyes and shiver, “I hope it is so, Master…” Not I didn’t. I’d rather cleave your c**k from your body and make you choke on it instead… A thought I only dare say to myself, safe in my thoughts. That strange voice laughed cruelly at the thought. Agreeing.

I almost smiled, but his hand moved, roughly grabbing my jaw and forcing my face upward. “Enjoy your birthday, slut,” his voice was sweet, not matching the words. I knew there wasn’t anything sweet or kind about this man. Pushing her harshly into the door of her small apartment, “get ready. Your guard will be here at eight to take you to your client.”

“Yes Master…” fumbling as I enter my room, keeping my gaze down. Not tempting for worse punishment by looking up at him without his prompting. That would be defying his rules…

It was too soon that eight came. When the door opened. I had managed to get a nap and get ready. My bruises from the other night had already faded. For some reason I always healed weirdly quick. Matthias loved and hated that about me.

Because his punishments healed quicker than he wanted. But on the other hand - the more brutal clients could have me passed around more frequently than the other girls.

Exhausted and despite having healed greatly from the previous night. Still there was a soreness settled in my bones. Part of me chalked it up to the previous night - but a part of me felt like I was coming down with something. But I dare not plead. Dare not fight. Dare not be so stupid as to ask for mercy. I knew better. I’d learned.

Obediently I got up, walking past the guard, my gaze downcast as I’d been taught. A harsh shove was all I got. Stumbling forward more than I usually would. Thanks to the fact for the past thirty minutes a build up of pressure was growing behind my eyes. A migrain perhaps.

Something that would make tonight all the more enjoyable. I thought bitterly to myself.

I could feel that returned voice in me, unsettled and anxious at the job at hand. Bitter. Demanding we fight. I nearly laughed out loud at it. Fight? It only makes it worse.

Gulping as we pulled up to the lonely house. Out of town. And from the looks of it far from anyone who might hear screams. I always was most nervous about these clients. Located in the middle of nowhere. Matthias might enjoy making money off of me. But I am replaceable. If I die he simply gets a hefty bonus payment.

This looks like the sort of place girls like me could die, be buried. Never be thought of again. An ache enters my chest as I exit the car. If I did die tonight - there would be no one to really care. I was nobody. I had no one.

No. You have our mate. He will protect us. Cherish us.

My mate? That again. That thing I just don’t get. Frowning as I scoff at the thought. I had no friends. No ‘mates’.

Soulmate. Your other half. Not mate like friends mate. Do I sound Australian?

A harsh grip on my arm dragged me forward. Pulling a gasp from my lips, “move it cunt.”

Pulling me out of whatever useless argument I was having in my mind. My head throbbed worse. I had looked at the clock before the car had been turned off. It was now eleven. I was far from the city. I had no real idea of where I was.

Closing my eyes as the guard rang the bell. Taking a deep breath of the cold night air. Savoring it. It was fresh. Clean.

Making sure to bow my head as the door opened, “I am here to serve you, sir.”

I didn’t want to see how large the man was. Wished I could have a normal birthday, like the kids in class talked about. A part, having fun, gifts. But not me. Happy f*****g birthday to me. I get to be brutalized and dehumanized.

A large hand wrapped around my throat, not enough to choke. At least not yet, pressure enough to force me to look up at him. I do what I can not to show fear at the man before me. He had to be six four at least. If I pleased him, I would get out in one piece. As always.

Fight... The voice snarled. I didn’t move. I would just be compliant. Even if everything in me told me this was different. Not just that voice telling me to fight. It was as if alarms started going off. Screaming I was going to my death. The driver entered the car. I heard it turn on…

I couldn’t hide the panic at that. At the sound of the car retreating. A sick smile twisted the mans lips as realization filled my eyes, “I’m going to break you, bitch.”

The guards never left. They stayed - they stayed… Or said when they would come back. The client never called to say when they were finished. If the guards came back without a girl. That meant one thing. Matthias wasn’t expecting me back tonight. Not ever.

Eighteen… And I was going to die. Never thought I’d make it this far really… I should want to die. But something in me refused to. Trying to break free and run. Instead the mans hand tightened further around my throat before he threw me into his house. Locking the door behind him.

A dazed shock coupled with the throbbing that had already been pounding in my skull. A groan pushed from my lips. A gasp leaving as I was hauled up by my hair. Whimpering as I tried to take pressure off the ruthless pulling. Feet kicking.

FIGHT! KEEP FIGHTING! I can’t help yet!

I didn’t fully understand how the voice could ever help. But I wasn’t questioning it’s prompting me to fight anymore. Twisting, struggling against the iron grip of my captor. I managed to twist and bite into his arm. He growled - tightening his hold on my hair as he launched my face into a counter until the world started to blink in and out. Dark dots filling my eyesight.

The pressure in my skull felt magnified all the worse. I could feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness. Part of me wishing for a quick death in one moment as I weakly tried to fight as one of my grasps back into the waking world I felt the head of his c**k at pressing against my ass.

Shame filled me and tears started to streak down my cheeks. I tried to fight. But I felt like I had so little control of my body. Like he’d bashed the energy out of me. Screaming as he forced himself roughly into me. I could feel my body tear around the girth of him. Tear at the brutality of it. The pain. The more I tried to struggle, the lighter my head got again.

Once more darkness devoured me.

Jude you have to wake up! - a voice beckoned me to try gathering my senses. Regretting listening to the voice as pain consumed my whole being. No longer in a black pit of nothing. Screaming at the feeling of a blade pushing into my shoulder.

“Ah - that’s a good girl. Wake up for me. I love watching you scream,” A different voice. A real one. His voice. This… this monsters voice. I felt torn all over. Lightheaded still.

It felt like my skull would implode because of the pain that was gnawing at it. Worse even then the sharp blade that had pierced my flesh. Screaming was useless. But it was all I could do. Please Jude - let me out. Let me have control… I can help now. It’s time… In the throws of my agony it all made even less sense.

But I wanted out of this. I wanted to slip into the dark nothing again. No! Don’t do that! We must become one for me to take control. I’m a part of you Jude - my name is Zyanya. You have to give me permission or it will take too long!

I didn’t understand. I didn’t know how. I could feel a sense of frustration within myself. As these separate parts of me struggled to align. That was when I felt it. A power creeping painfully from my skull, spreading. Stop fighting me Jude. We have to fight him, not each other!

Another scream broke from me. I tried to focus as another blade pierced my other shoulder. My throat felt abused. I can only remember glimpses of why… Let the power flow, imagine that power going through your whole body. Let it change. And I will fight for us. I will take our pound of flesh!

And I try to. Still it was painful. But I tried to release the power that felt trapped in my skull. That pressure. It burned as it slid further through me. Down my limbs. Still it was agonizing. Strangled cries morphed into a howl… A growl. I was lost. Confused… Another moment of brutal agony that could not be blamed on the brute as he stumbled back shocked…

That was when it felt like I just… Exploded… Exploded in a sound of snapping bones and inhuman sounds. The blades shook out as I realized I wasn’t the one in control. It was as if someone else was driving my body.

Or more like I was in someone else's body. It felt weird. Wrong. Different. A snarl startled me. Until I realized it came from this body. What should be my body. The pain melts further into a feeling of euphoric power.

I felt larger. My body didn’t stand back on two legs. But rather I was on my fours. Realization started creeping on me. I didn’t feel human. My body didn’t have the right anatomy. I wanted to look at myself but at the same time I dare not take my eyes off the man. He seemed to snap out of his stupor of fear and grabbed for one of the blades, moving to drive it into me.

Never again! That voice screamed in my head in time with a ferocious snarl. Jaws open wide and body launching forward. All I felt capable of doing was letting this strange new part of me take over. This Zyanya. I should have felt more horrified as the metallic taste filled my mouth. Or that I realized I had a snout. Paws and claws…

I embraced it at that moment. Embraced a feeling of being powerful. Like for once in my f*****g life I had tried - and successded in protecting myself. That for once I would not be beaten into submission.

We’ll never submit to men like him again - the voice proclaimed as the man gurgled, struggling. Until I heard myself - no - I heard us whimper at the feeling of the blade slamming into our back. Causing Zyanya to twist her head brutally.

I should have been horrified I tore out a mans throat. But as he flop about a few seconds more in his dying moments. I just felt more powerful. Liberated. Panting, we moved to try reaching the blade in our back. A low whine as it was nearly out of range. Though the sight of fur was nearly enough to distract me.

Before I hadn’t understood becoming one. Being one. But I realized we moved together now that the treat was over. Working to pull out the knife. Once free of it the next problem arose…

How do I go back? To… To being me? I asked through our shared space in my mind.

It’s our first shift. We will not be able to change back until the moon has fallen beyond the horizon. We must try escaping here as we are. I don’t want to risk being caught in here… I happened to agree with that. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to be near this man.

We limped and found the door. Struggling with the lock and knob with our jaws and paws.Panic rising in me as I realized I could hear a car approaching. I doubted it was the guard. But whomever was coming couldn’t be good news either. I felt it.

We felt it.

Finally. The door opened. And a startled gasp left a man as we ran past him. We ignored the ache of our wounds. A barking whine pushing from us at the sound of something loud hurting our ears. Falling to the ground and rolling.

Zyanya forced our body back up and ran again. We’d been shot.

I could tell the adrenaline and power I’d felt before was waning. It’s the blood loss - Zyanya explained. It made sense even if our mind was starting to feel fuzzy. I’m glad she seems to understand how to control this form. Because I do not. We run. Faster than I’ve ever been able to run before. Another crash of gunfire. But it hits a tree instead of us.

We run until we cannot any longer. Lungs burning. Wounds oozing crimson. Muscles screaming. Paws feeling raw. But the moon is still up. We try to keep going but we trip. Vision blurry and the ability to keep our eyes open seems all the harder.

A snarl that doesn’t come from us startles me. We trip again. Falling. Tumbling down a hill until my head cracks against a tree. I can feel Zyanya fighting to stay conscious. But I’m tired.

So tired...