Trained to Be Wanted

Chapter3

Marlowe woke to the sound of Kellan already lacing his shoes by the window, like the whole dorm hadn't spent half the night arguing over whose side of the room ended where. "You're staring," he said, without looking up. "I'm not," she said, too fast, and pulled the blanket higher like that would hide it.

Outside, the campus was already awake in a way it never used to be for her and doors were opening a beat too early, voices pitched a little too bright. Marlowe grabbed her bag and told herself none of it had anything to do with her. She almost believed it.

By seven thirty the next morning, Kellan Ford was famous. Marlowe didn't know how it happened so fast. She had only known him for one day and already she was watching his reputation grow in real time.

She walked two steps behind him on the way to campus because he walked too fast and because people kept stopping to stare.

"That's him," a girl whispered loudly from the steps. "The transfer."

"Oh my god he is taller in person." "He's in Room 312. I heard he asked for it."

Marlowe wanted to say that was not true. She wanted to say he didn't ask for anything, that he just appeared in her room and ruined her life. But no one was looking at her anyway.

They were all looking at Kellan. He had the same calm face as yesterday. Black hoodie pushed up to his elbows, backpack slung over one shoulder, earbuds in but no music playing. Marlowe had asked him about that that morning. "Why do you wear them if you're not listening to anything?" she had asked.

"So people don't talk to me," he had said.

It wasn't working.

Three girls from the junior cheer squad ran up to him before they even reached the main doors. "Hi! You must be Kellan," the one in front said. Her smile was huge. "I'm Chloe. We're on cheer. We just wanted to welcome you." "Thanks," Kellan said, and kept walking. Chloe blinked. She was not used to being ignored. She ran a little to keep up. "Do you need a tour? We can show you around. The gym, the rink, anywhere you want." "I have a map," Kellan said. "Oh. Okay. Well, maybe after practice? We're having a little get together at Sable's house and-" "I'm busy," Kellan said. He didn't say it meanly. He just said it like it was a fact. The girls stopped walking and stared after him, offended and even more interested.

Marlowe caught up, panting a little. "You could be nicer," she whispered to him. "Why?" he asked. "Because they were being nice to you!" "They were being nice to my face," he said. "There's a difference."

Marlowe didn't know what to say to that, so she said nothing. Inside, the main hallway was packed. And as soon as Kellan stepped inside, it was like someone pressed pause. Conversations stopped mid-sentence. Heads turned. Locker doors stayed open. Marlowe had walked this hallway for three years and no one had ever looked at her twice. Now people were looking because she was standing next to the new boy. "Whoa," a freshman said.

Kellan ignored all of it. He looked down at Marlowe.

"Where is Room 204?" he asked. "Why?" "My first class. Coach said it's on this floor."

"It's down there, left," she said. "Next to the lab." "Thanks." He started walking, and then he stopped and looked back. "Don't get lost, Vance."

"I won't get lost in my own school!" He gave her that little sarcastic smile and disappeared into the crowd, which parted for him like water. Marlowe stood there alone for a second and felt everyone's eyes slide from him to her and then away, like she was suddenly invisible again.

She walked to her locker and tried to focus on the day. Biology test. Robotics club meeting. Avoid Sable. Normal stuff. But normal was over.

By second period, someone had made an i********: fan page. @KellanFord_AP. It already had eighty followers and three blurry hallway photos. Marlowe saw it because someone AirDropped it to the entire sophomore class. By third period, two girls got into an argument in the bathroom about who saw him first. "I heard Beckett is mad," one girl said while reapplying lip gloss in the mirror next to Marlowe. "Like, actually mad. He thinks Kellan is going to take his spot." Marlowe washed her hands quickly and left. She didn't want to hear about Beckett. She didn't want to think about yesterday.

But Beckett was thinking about her.

Fourth period was advanced chemistry, which Marlowe shared with both Beckett and Sable. She usually sat in the second row and tried to be invisible. Today, when she walked in, Beckett was already sitting at his desk and he looked straight at her and smiled.

It was not a kind smile.

"Hey, Vance," he said loudly. "Heard you got a new roommate."

The class turned. A few people giggled. Marlowe's face went hot. "Housing made a mistake." "Yeah?" Beckett leaned back in his chair. "Funny mistake. A girl who can't get a date suddenly living with the hottest guy on campus. Must be your lucky year." Sable, sitting on the desk next to him, laughed. "Beckett, stop. You're going to embarrass her." "I think she likes attention," Beckett said. "Right, Marlowe? You love auditioning for things you can't do. Now you're living out a fantasy." Marlowe stared at her notebook. Her hands were tight around her pen. She wanted to say something brave. She wanted to be like Kellan and tell him to shut up. But her throat was closed again. Just like in the gym. "Leave her alone," someone muttered, but not loud enough for Beckett to hear. Beckett stood up and walked over to her desk. He put his hands on the edge and leaned down. "Tell me something," he said quietly, so only she could hear. "Did you beg housing to put him with you? Is that your new strategy? Since cheer didn't work?" "I didn't," Marlowe whispered. Her eyes were burning. "Because you should know," Beckett said, his voice still soft, still smiling for the people watching. "Guys like Kellan don't stay interested in girls like you for long. He'll get bored in a week." The bell for the teacher still hadn't rung. Everyone was watching. Sable was recording with her phone under the desk, Marlowe was sure of it.

The door opened. Kellan walked in late, holding a late slip. He stopped when he saw Beckett at Marlowe's desk.

"What did I miss?" he asked.

The chemistry teacher walked in right behind him. "Mr. Ford, Mr. Cole, take your seats. Now."

Beckett pushed off Marlowe's desk and went back to his seat, throwing Kellan a look. Kellan didn't sit. He looked at Marlowe. Her head was down. Her shoulders were shaking a little.

He walked to his assigned seat, which was two rows behind her. As he passed her, he dropped a folded piece of paper on her desk. Marlowe stared at it. She opened it under the desk. It said in messy handwriting: Breathe. He is an i***t. She let out a shaky breath and for the first time that period, her hands stopped shaking. After class, she tried to leave fast, but Kellan caught up to her in the hallway.

"You okay?" he asked. "I'm fine," she said quickly. Too quickly. "That didn't look fine."

"It's just how it is," she said. "Beckett does that sometimes. It's not a big deal." "It is a big deal if it makes you look like that," Kellan said. Marlowe stopped walking. "Why do you care? You just met me yesterday."

Kellan shrugged. "I live with you. If you cry on the floor every day, it's going to be annoying for me. I'm protecting my peace." "You're so mean," Marlowe said, but she was almost smiling. "I'm honest," he said. "There's a difference. You should try it sometime. Next time he says something, tell him to leave you alone instead of staring at your desk like you want it to swallow you."

"It's not that easy." "It is," Kellan said. "You just think it's not." Lunch was worse. Marlowe tried to go to the library instead, but the librarian kicked her out because the robotics team was using the tables. So she had to go to the cafeteria. She got her tray and went straight to the far corner table again. She kept her head down and started eating as fast as she could. Kellan came in five minutes later. Again, the room reacted. But this time he didn't come straight to her table. Coach Reeves had grabbed him near the hockey table and was talking to him, hand on his shoulder.

Beckett was there too, laughing loudly at something, acting like the perfect captain. Marlowe watched them from the corner. She saw Beckett say something to Coach, then gesture toward Kellan. Coach nodded. Beckett smiled.

A bad feeling grew in her stomach. Coach left. Kellan sat down with the team, because he had to. Marlowe told herself she didn't care. It was better that way. No rumors.

She was halfway through her apple when Beckett stood up with his tray. He walked across the cafeteria, straight toward her table, Sable following behind him like a shadow. "Hey, everyone!" Beckett said loudly. He had that big, charming voice he used when he wanted attention. "I have an announcement!"

The cafeteria quieted. People loved announcements from Beckett. "As you all know," he said, smiling at Marlowe, "our girl Marlowe here tried out for cheer again. Fifth year in a row. That's dedication." A few people laughed, unsure where this was going. "And I was thinking," Beckett continued. "We shouldn't let that talent go to waste. So I talked to Coach and we agreed ... Marlowe should cheer for us at lunch! Give us a little preview of that amazing audition!"

Marlowe froze.

"What?" she said. "Come on," Beckett said. "Don't be shy. You practiced so hard. Show Kellan what you can do. Show everyone." He looked at her and his eyes were cold. This was punishment for yesterday. For Kellan sitting with her. For making him look stupid.

Sable clapped her hands. "Yes! Do the little spin you did! It was so ... cute!"

People started laughing for real now. Phones came out. "Come on, Vance," someone shouted. "Dance!" Marlowe stood up without thinking. She wanted to run again. But her legs wouldn't move. She was trapped between the table and the wall and Beckett standing in front of her with that smile.

"I ... I don't want to," she whispered. "What's that?" Beckett cupped his ear. "We can't hear you. Louder!"

"She said she doesn't want to," a voice said behind Beckett.

Kellan. He had stood up from the hockey table and walked over. He wasn't smiling now. He looked angry, but in a quiet way that was scarier than shouting. Beckett turned. "Relax, Ford. It's just a joke. Marlowe loves performing." "She said no," Kellan said. "It's not that serious, man," Beckett said, still smiling, but his jaw was tight. "We're just having fun." "Fun is when everyone is laughing," Kellan said. "Right now only you are having fun. So it's not a joke. It's just you being an asshole."

The cafeteria went dead silent.

No one talked to Beckett Cole like that. No one.

Beckett stared at Kellan. The friendly captain mask cracked. "You've been here for two days," Beckett said slowly. "You don't know how things work here." "I know exactly how things work here," Kellan said. "You pick on people who won't fight back so you feel tall." Sable stepped in quickly, putting a hand on Beckett's arm. "Okay, boys, let's not do this here. Beckett was just being playful." Kellan didn't look at her. He looked at Marlowe. "Come on," he said to her. "We're leaving."

Marlowe stared at him. Her heart was pounding so loud she could hear it. She grabbed her tray with shaking hands and followed him. They walked out of the cafeteria together, past the staring faces, past the phones still recording, past the hockey team with their mouths open.

Behind them, Beckett watched them leave, his hands in fists. And Marlowe knew, even as relief flooded her chest because someone had finally stood up for her, that she had just made everything worse. Because Beckett Cole did not like being embarrassed. And Sable Winters never forgave a girl who took attention away from her. As the doors swung shut behind them, Kellan said quietly, "You didn't have to just stand there and take it, you know." Marlowe looked up at him, her eyes still wet. "I know," she whispered. "But I didn't know how not to." Kellan looked at her for a long second, and something softened in his face.

"Then I'll teach you," he said.