Bittersweet Dance of Love

Bittersweet Dance of Love Chapter 4

Good lord! How am I going to resist her? Merwe thinks by himself, still smelling her flowery nearness. He

feels weary, remembering her soft curves and small breasts leaning against him, and instinctively his body reacts. 

    With an angry snarl, he walks briskly out of the house to park the car in the garage. At least he will be able to spend more time working now without worrying about her all the time. In the quietness of the car, he sits and thinks about what Dr Dirk told him.

    Merlyn’s small frame appears in front of him, and he can again feel the fear that grabbed him the moment she started falling to the ground. 

    Dr Dirk said that she might experience frequent and various kinds of symptoms like the faintness and light-headedness she’d just had. At first he thought it could not be that bad, but her ash-white face a few minutes ago was enough to make him feel the despair that would come with losing her again.

    Merlyn feels his presence again even before she opens her eyes. He does have a distinct male scent that Merlyn savours, as it makes her feel safe and excited at the same time. She opens her eyes, and they stare at each other for a time that feels like eternity before she blinks and asks,

    “What time is it?”

    The change in his eyes is remarkable when he smiles. “Long past lunchtime, sleepyhead.”

    Instantly she is wide awake. “You must wake me up! I do not want to disturb your routine while I am here, Merwe,” she replies, really upset with him again.

    “You have disrupted my life long before today, Miss Brandos. No need to upset yourself overmuch about that,” he replies. “If you feel like it, we can go to the kitchen and you can have your lunch.”

Ignoring his strange answer, she thinks that she is feeling hungry and tries to get up, but the terrible dizziness overwhelms her again, and she lies back once more.

    “Wait, Merwe; wait!” she says when he wants to pick her up. “I’ll get up slowly, and then we can try again.” This time all goes well as she stands up holding on to Merwe’s arm. She smiles brightly, and together they walk to the door. 

Merwe bites hard on his teeth, overwhelmed by her spontaneously brilliant smile full of triumph. The reaction of her small hand on his arm, warm and intimate, is shockingly disturbing to him.

    “I want to use the bathroom first, please, Merwe,” she says, and she leaves him standing outside the door. Feeling shy, she moves to bathroom and closes the door.

    “Do not lock the door, Merlyn; what if you fall?” he complains worriedly, irritated thrusting his fingers through his hair.

    “I am fine, Merwe; really I am,” she says, and without further talking, she finishes in the bathroom.

Merwe’s hair has become more chaotic since the morning. The loose tendrils have graduated to bundles of wildness, meant to be smooth and pulled back. Tiny, hairy tendrils have reared up, creating a sort of

radiance around his scalp. He really looks wild and dangerous. Merlyn thinks while looking at him when she opens the bathroom door. The relief on his face is comical when she stands beside him again, and she grins widely at the picture he makes.

    “It is not funny, Merri! You really frightened us when you almost fell to the ground earlier this morning. You should be more careful.” His tone is fierce as he holds his arm out for her. She takes his arm, and they go to the kitchen. 

The smile on her mouth is bright and happy, and Merwe tenses slightly. She has freshened up a bit, and she smells like the fresh flowers outside the house. He needs to hold her and cuddle her, but he knows that that would frighten her as well. He notices that she is very thin and looks almost frail. She was not that thin when he last saw her six months ago, though. He decides to see to her eating properly in days

to come.

    Merlyn cannot eat much, feeling a bit nervous with Merwe sitting so near her.

    “When we have to go and see Dr Dirk again, I’ll take you to Uncle Sammy’s house. Maybe you will remember something if you come to a familiar place,” he suggests, and Merlyn looks at him, wide-eyed. 

    “I have finalized all the funeral arrangements, and we must still see to his testament as well. Herr Gutte, the administrator of estates and trusts, contacted me this morning and suggested that we must meet with him when you feel better.”

    Merlyn can only look at him, not knowing what to say. Eventually, to her own embarrassment, she feels tears running down her face. 

    “What have I done, Merwe?” she cries softly in her hands. 

    Merwe stands up and folds her against him while letting her cry, caressing her back to calm her down.

    “Everything will work out, love. Have patience and get well first,” he murmurs softly while lifting her face with his big hand and tenderly wiping away her tears with his thumb. 

    Her eyes close at his tender caress.

    Her mouth looks soft and vulnerable, and before he can think clearly, he bends down and softly kisses her her lips so invitingly close and vulnerable.  His intensions were to calm and soothe, but the mere taste of her sweet mouth is his undoing. 

    She is stunned, and her eyes fly open. The feelings that spark through her entire body, including the longing to belong, feel so right. His tenderness and the comfort she feels when holding on to him make her relax, and she enjoys his caress, reacting by softly kissing him back.

    Merwe feels her reaction to his kiss and cannot help but deepen their kiss. His tongue probes her soft lips and enters the warmth of her mouth, tasting her sweetness so long denied. Their tongues meet in a slow dance of need, and he pulls her tightly against his hard male body while his hand weaves into her short hair, holding her head and drinking in her willing softness. He feels her soft curves and her small breasts pushing into his chest when she gives in to his kiss. Her good arm slowly moves over his chest and circles around his neck while the injured one rests against his side.

    Merwe returns to reality when Merlyn sighs a soft sound of pleasure into his mouth. Slowly he pulls away. Their eyes meet in confused silence while both look disturbed, breathing fast and irregular breaths. Merlyn pushes him away from her slowly before she stands back and walks back to her room as fast she can, closing the door after her. Leaning against the closed door with shaking legs and closed eyes, she murmurs, ‘Oh, goodness, Marilyn! What have you done now?’ She sigh and hear Merwe leaving the house in haste, telling his mother that he will be back late.

                                                                                          ***

Let me leave you with my love

Even if my tears were falling

Your new beginning and my end

Bittersweet, that is the bittersweet of love (Andriëtte Norman)

Herman sees him coming from a distance and knowing his friend since boyhood, he wonders what has upset him this much to visit him today. They usually have their barbeques on Wednesdays and go to town on Fridays ever since his parents retired at the coast. Neither Herman nor Merwe got married because of reasons only they know about. Merwe knows about Herman’s love for his sister Mia.

Merwe stops next to Herman, still busy sorting his sheep at his barn. Dust and miss hang in a cloud around them while fine lines of perspiration dried on his face and shirt.  Herman looks at his friend’s troubled face before he finishes his work. Merwe hangs broodingly against the sturdy wire of the barn, watching his friend sorting his animals. The rain was late and the veldt is terribly dry all over. At some areas, there is just not a thing for the animals to eat and the results are visible in the amounts of deaths they see every day.

Merwe feels drained and unhappy, but he knows that nothing is going to change soon. He gives Herman a lopsided grin when he reaches him, “Having a bear and barbeque on a Monday will be nice, I thought,” he says and gives him a handshake.

Herman shakes his hand and laughs deeply, “Of course, my friend, I am always game for a barbeque and a couple of bears after a long day’s work.” Together they move to Herman’s house.

“What is troubling you so much that you want to barbeque this time of the day, anyway?” Herman asks straight away.

Merwe sighs deeply before he answers his friend. “I only mess up everything every time that I am in her presence. I am like a clumsy teenager who sticks his feet in where his hands should be. Maybe I am just cut out to be a bachelor forever,” Merwe mutters grumpily.

Herman laughs out heartily, clapping him on the back. They are both tall men that grew up in these harsh dry lands of Namibia. They can stand the tough and testing challenges of farming and the life as a farmer appeals to them. According to them in the ways of women, their skill is rather rusting.

“I am going to take a shower while you pack the fire and I’ll be with you in a while. The meat is on the table in the kitchen, while you are at it, Honey!” Herman jests and laughs even louder for the annoyance on Merwe’s face.

“Go to hell, Struwig!” Merwe shouts back and walks to the barbeque area at the back of the house. Soon they are drinking a bear and smelling the already delicious flavours of the succulent meat, still roasting over the fire.

“What did you do to the girl that upsets you so much Merwe?” Herman asks after a while.

“I just cannot keep my hands off her! I was supposed to comfort her, then I kissed her, for heaven’s sake!” he answers, exasperated with himself, “And this on the first day she is at my house.”

Herman is grinning at him, “Did she kiss you back?” obviously finding the situation funnier than his friend.

“After a while, yes, but that is not the point, Herman. She was embarrassed and could not run away fast enough when she realized what she had done ... what we had done,” he corrects himself.

“It seems to me that you are too harsh on yourself, my friend. Deep down she must still remember you and at this moment she needs your help and your care,” he comforts his friend. “She might have liked you even more than she told anybody, but could not tell you so before or maybe your father warned her away from his precious boy, like he did to me.”

Herman gives a cynical laugh when he remembers that day Merwe’s father chastised him about not being good enough for his darling girl, Mia. Mia always was a willful girl, something that he loved about her. She turned rebellious the moment she realized what her father has done. Herman asked her to finish her studies before he would take her as his wife. They were old enough to realize the folly in fighting her father at that stage of their lives.

Merwe watches Herman intently, “You can be right, Herman, but still I have to give her a chance to recover and being cynical about her life during those many years, do not make it easy, you know. I tend to speak before I think, especially when I am angry.”

“That is something only you can change, Merwe. The meat is ready, my friend and I think we can eat now, I am starving,”

Herman agrees and they take the bowl with meat to the kitchen where they enjoy the meal as friends and family together. Afterwards they sit together and enjoy their smoke before Merwe leaves, feeling much better about himself.