In bed with Havoc

CHAPTER NINETEEN

AVA

I wasn't spying.

I had no reason to do so. I was simply… looking outside.

I was standing at the window because the window had natural light and natural light was good for reading and I happened to be reading near the window when the black car came through the gate so that was all that was happening here.

I turned the page without reading it.

The car stopped at the front entrance and one of the guards opened the passenger door and the woman who stepped out looked like she'd been designed specifically to make other women feel underdressed. Dark hair, perfect posture, the kind of effortless elegance that suggested she hadn't accidentally worn mismatched socks in her adult life, not once, not ever.

Security let her through without a single question.

Of course they did. Who is she? I wondered.

I watched Ryder appear at the door, making me sit up while my chest did that stupid thing it had been doing for a while now at the sight of him. He didn't smile but his shoulders dropped half an inch, he was loosening up and he never did that around me. This woman made him feel safe and less guarded.

“Really?” I scoffed.

She touched his arm when she reached him then leaned up and kissed his cheek and he let her then they stood there talking in the entrance for a moment but I couldn't hear what they were saying while trying to ignore the pain in my chest from that kiss.

I closed my book, went to my room and sat on the bed.

"I don't care," I said out loud to no one.

Then I picked up the pillow and punched it twice, hard, then put it back, smoothed the case and sat up straight because I absolutely did not care at all.

****

Three hours later Gabe appeared at my door and told me there was a security briefing in the sitting room that I needed to attend.

“Why?” I asked because I didn't want to go down there, especially because that woman was still there.

“It’s important.” Was all he said.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

He face palmed. “Ava, I would drag you down there myself if I had to.”

I shot him a glare, getting up. “Fine.”

When I walked in, I found Ryder standing by the window while the woman from the car was setting a medical bag on the coffee table.

Up close she was worse. To my disgust she was disgustingly beautiful.

She had warm eyes, an easy smile and a kind energy that would make anyone trust her. She looked up at me as I walked in with genuine friendliness that I resented on a cellular level.

I know you're pretending, I just can't prove it… yet.

"Ava," Ryder said, "this is Dr. Alina Reyes. She's my private physician. She's here to assess your injuries and clear you for increased mobility."

"I'm fine.” I said. I didn't want her touching me.

"You have bruised ribs and eight stitches," Alina said pleasantly, opening her bag, "so let's just confirm that together, yes?"

She was also apparently reasonable, which somehow made it worse.

I sat on the table she pointed at reluctantly and let her work because I didn't have a good argument against basic medical care and she was professional and thorough plus her hands were gentle as she explained everything she was doing before she did it which I found absolutely nothing to legitimately object to and that was deeply irritating.

I scoffed internally. She was good at her facade.

Across the room Ryder stood with his arms crossed, watching her and at some point he and Alina started talking in low voices about something I couldn't fully hear while I stared at the wall trying not to clench my jaw and maintained a neutral expression which was fine, totally fine, completely unbothered.

Then she laughed at something he'd said, and she tilted her head when she did it and I felt my back teeth grind together.

Stop it, I told myself. You don't care. You have explicitly established that you don't care. You punched a pillow about not caring.

Alina came back to me and finished the examination then made notes and told me my ribs were healing well and the stitches could come out in four days then I was cleared for more movement as long as I wasn't doing anything that involved impact or strain.

"Thank you." I said and I meant it to sound warm but it came out a bit cold which was the best I could do.

She smiled and started packing her bag before walking back to Ryder. She reached up and squeezed his shoulder once then said, "She's stronger than she looks."

He looked at me over Alina's head. "I know."

I smiled with all my teeth. f**k you again, Ryder.

“Goodbye, Ava.” she said with another friendly smile. “I need to check the guards.”

She was a b***h. She was tormenting me on purpose. I only gave a forced smile in return because I couldn't guarantee a calm tone if I spoke.

“Let me walk you to go meet them.” Ryder offered and has practically jumped into his arms.

Well… she didn't but I wish she did so I could justify my dislike for her.

I sat on the examination table and waited for him to come back. When he came back into the room I had the question ready.

"How long have you been sleeping with her?"

He turned slowly and looked at me with an expression that was working hard to stay even. "I'm not."

"You're not currently or you're not ever."

"Neither."

"She kissed your cheek."

"She's European."

"She laughed at something you said."

"People do that occasionally."

"Not around you they don't," I said, "you're not funny."

The corner of his mouth tilted slightly. "You laughed at dinner two nights ago."

"I was being polite."

"You weren't."

I got off the table, crossed my arms and looked at him. He looked back making me realize just how quiet the house was while my thoughts were raging. "Does she know that nothing is happening between you guys like you claim?"

"There's nothing to know."

"Does she know that?"

"Ava."

"It's a yes or no question, Ryder."

He looked at me calmly. "Are you jealous?"

I nearly gasped at his audacity. I felt heat creep up my face before I could stop it so I chose to laugh it off but even my laugh sounded off while I waved my hand like the question was too absurd to take seriously. "Absolutely not."

"Right."

"I'm not."

"I heard you."

"Good," I said, "make sure you keep hearing it," before he could say anything else, I walked out making sure to keep my shoulders high and chin straight all the way down the corridor, up the stairs and into my room.

Once the door was shut, I walked to the middle of my room, pressed my face to my palm and silently screamed into it.

You are not jealous, I told myself. You don't get to be jealous. You hate him. You have excellent and well-documented reasons to hate him. Jealousy would require feelings and you don't have those, not about him, not anymore.

I moved my hands and looked at the ceiling.

Her laugh though…

"Stop it," I said out loud.

I went to the window to get some air and looked down at the drive. Alina's car was still there. I looked at it for exactly one second before turning away and sitting on the bed with my laptop and opening a document and stared at it.

It was 8pm.

I worked for an hour. Everything I wrote was rubbish and I deleted most of it. At 9pm I got up and got water, passed the window again and the car was still there. I didn't look at it and went back to the laptop.

At 11pm I turned off the light and lay down while I stared at the ceiling trying to distract myself with thought about the Vargas files, the Grant family connection, the information Ryder had given me about the Eastern European network and all of the productive, relevant, completely non-Alina-related things I had to think about.

The car was still in the drive. I hadn't looked but I just knew.

It means nothing, I thought. She's his doctor. Doctors have late hours. This is a medical visit and you are a grown adult who does not care.

Midnight came.

I stared at the ceiling.

12:47.

Stop counting, Ava.

1:15.

At 3am I heard the engine start in the driveway making me lay completely still, listening to the sound of it fading down the road and then the estate was quiet again.

I closed my eyes.

I hated myself for counting the minutes and I was absolutely never going to admit to anyone, least of all myself, that I had counted every single one.