In bed with Havoc

CHAPTER EIGHT

AVA

I barely slept.

Every time I closed my eyes I saw the crash. The headlights in my rearview mirror. Then felt ttr way my car spun off the road like a toy someone threw away and then Ryder's face in the darkness pulling me from the wreckage.

I did not want to be grateful to him. I did not want to owe him anything. But I was alive and that meant something even if I hated admitting it.

By morning I was done playing the patient victim. I got dressed in the same clothes from yesterday because they were all I had. Then I walked out of my room and ignored the guard posted outside my door.

"Ma'am you should stay in your quarters." He moved to block my path.

"I'm going to talk to Ryder."

"Mr. Kane is in a meeting."

"I don't care."

The guard reached for his radio but I was already walking away. He followed me through the hallways. I did not know where I was going but the estate was not that big. Eventually I would find Ryder's office.

It took ten minutes and three wrong turns but I found it. His office lady beyond large double doors at the end of a corridor. There were no guards outside which meant he was either not in there or he was alone.

I pushed the doors open without knocking.

Ryder sat behind a massive desk made of dark wood and glass. He was on the phone. His eyes flicked to me when I entered and something crossed his face. Surprise maybe. Or annoyance. It was hard to tell with him.

The guard had lied. Or perhaps Ryder had been the one to tell him to lie to me.

He held up one finger. Wait.

I did not wait. I walked right up to his desk and crossed my arms.

“Ryder.”

"I'll call you back." He said into the phone. Then he hung up and leaned back in his chair. "You're supposed to be resting."

"I'm supposed to be living my life." I shot back. "Where are my things?"

"What things?"

"My phone. My laptop. My notes. My entire existence that you confiscated when you dragged me here."

Ryder opened a drawer and pulled out a designer bag. It was made from black, expensive leather that I could never afford on a journalist's salary. He slid it across the desk.

"Thus contains the basic necessities. Toiletries. Clothes. Everything you need."

I grabbed the bag and looked inside. I saw shampoo, soap, a hairbrush and three outfits that looked like they came from a boutique.

Nothing in there was mine.

Is he being serious right now? I almost laughed at his audacity.

"This is not what I asked for."

"It's what you're getting."

"Where's my laptop?" My voice rose. "My notes? My research? My LIFE?"

"Secured."

"That's not an answer."

"It's the only answer you're getting." He stood up and walked around the desk. "Your belongings are safe. You'll get them back when it's safe for you to leave."

"When I leave? You mean if you decide to let me leave."

"Yes."

The word was so blunt it took my breath away. He was not even pretending anymore by hiding behind excuses about protection or safety or owing my brother a debt. This was control. Pure and simple.

"You can't do this." I dropped the bag. "You can't just erase my life and expect me to be okay with it."

"I'm not asking you to be okay with it. I'm telling you how it is."

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

"The man keeping you alive."

I laughed bitterly this time. "You're unbelievable. You know that? You think because you have money and power and security guards you can just dictate how I live?"

"Right now? Yes."

"This is kidnapping."

"Call it what you want."

"I will." I turned toward the door. "And when I get out of here I'm going to make sure everyone knows what you did."

"You're not getting out."

I stopped. Turned back. "Watch me."

Then I walked out of his office and headed straight for the front entrance. I did not have a plan. I did not have my phone or my keys or any way to contact the outside world. But I was not staying here. I was not going to let Ryder Kane lock me up and pretend it was for my own good.

The entrance hall was massive and stunning. It has marble floors, a chandelier that probably cost more than my apartment. And two guards standing in front of the double doors that led outside.

"Move." I said when I reached them.

They did not move.

"I said move."

"We have orders ma'am." The taller one spoke. His voice was polite but firm. "You're not authorized to leave the premises."

"I don't need authorization. This isn't a prison."

"It's for your safety."

At this point they all sounded robotic.

"I don't care." I stepped forward and shoved the guard's chest. He did not budge. It was like pushing a brick wall. "Get out of my way."

"Ma'am please step back."

"No." I shoved him again. Harder this time. My hand hurt from the impact but he barely moved. "Let me out."

"That's not going to happen."

I heard footsteps behind me and i did not need to turn around to know who it was. I could feel his presence like a storm cloud rolling in.

"If you leave this property you die." Ryder's voice was calm like he was talking about the weather

I spun around. He stood ten feet away with his hands in his pockets. Perfectly composed. Like this was just another day for him and my desperation meant nothing.

"You're controlling me again." My voice shook. "Just like before."

"This is nothing like before."

"Isn't it?" I walked toward him. "Five years ago you made decisions for me. You decided what I could handle and what I deserved. You threw me away like I was nothing and now you're doing it again but only this time you're keeping me locked up and taking away my choices."

"Last time I let you go you almost died." His jaw tightened. "Not happening again."

Sorry? This was our first time seeing each other in five years, unless… "What did you just say?"

"You heard me."

"Last time?" My heart pounded. "What do you know about last time?"

He did not answer. His expression stayed blank but something flickered in his eyes. Something he did not want me to see.

"Ryder." I stepped closer. "What do you know?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does." My hands were shaking now. "You know something. Is it about what happened after I left? About college or—"

I stopped. The pieces clicked together. The way he showed up at the crash site right on time. The way he knew exactly where to find me and when Gabe said Ethan had not returned their calls but Ryder acted like he already knew everything about my life.

"You've been watching me." The realization made my stomach turn. "Haven't you? This whole time. You've been keeping tabs on me."

"Ava—"

"How long?" I demanded. "How long have you been spying on me?"

"I wasn't spying."

"Then what do you call it?"

"Making sure you were safe."

"You had no right." My voice broke. "You had no right to invade my privacy like that. To watch me without my knowledge. To—" I could not finish. The anger was choking me.

And so as fear. Fear that he already knew about what I had lost after him five years ago. I didn't want him to know because he didn't deserve to.

My hand moved before I could stop it. The slap connected with his cheek hard enough that my palm stung. The sound echoed through the entrance hall.

Ryder did not flinch or react whatsoever. He just stood there staring at me with those dark gray eyes that gave nothing away.

The guards behind me shifted. I heard one of them reach for his weapon.

"Stand down." Ryder's voice was quiet but commanded instant obedience. The guards went still.

He looked at me not in that cold way he had since I had arrived here. He really looked at me and for a second I thought I saw something c***k in his armor.

Real and raw pain.

Then it was gone.

"Feel better Red?"

The nickname made me want to hit him again. It was what he used to call me back when I thought it meant something and when I thought he cared.

Now it just felt like mockery.

I turned away before he could see the tears burning in my eyes. I would not cry in front of him.

I, Ava Sinclair, refuse to give him that satisfaction.

"Stay away from me." I said it without looking back. "I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you. Just leave me alone."

I walked back toward my room. My hand was still stinging, heart was racing and somewhere behind me I knew Ryder was watching me and still controlling me no matter how hard I tried to stay away from him.

Things I had buried five years ago were rushing back and I didn't want that.

The guard outside my door opened it without a word. I walked inside and slammed it shut. Then I pressed my back against the wood and slid down to the floor.

I looked down at my throbbing palm and watched as red bloomed across it.

I had slapped Ryder Kane.

The man who saved my life and who was keeping me prisoner.

He was also the man who destroyed me five years ago and was doing it all over again.

And he had not even flinched.

Same way he didn't when he crushed me five years ago.