Suicide
1926 Words
"Brian ......"
Brian hears Alethea call him and he reaches for her, trying to tell her Eric is in there, get in there and cry!
Just don't do it again ......
"Brian ......"
Alethea called to him again.
He took her hand, "I'm here", and took the ice water from the waiter who rushed over: "Have some water."
Alethea had to hold the street lamp to stand firm, took the water: "Thank you, please call a cab for me, okay?"
Brian suddenly became irritable for some reason and yelled at Alethea: "Eric is in there! Go get him back! Alethea, where are you? Where have you been?"
Alethea was frozen in place for half a day by his yelling. For half a day, she looked at him and suddenly giggled, she used the back of her hand to wipe away the tears of laughter: "Thank you Brian. But I am also very tired, I want to rest again."
Brian couldn't move, he watched Alethea grow. He never thought that one day Alethea would tell him that she didn't know what to do. When she was so arrogant and domineering that she sneered at him, he could not wait to sew her mouth shut, but now that she was really standing in front of him in such a bleak way, he suddenly felt that it was better for her to make a fool of herself.
"Help me get a cab, I'm too drunk."
"Alethea, Eric is inside." He said again.
"I know." Alethea, confused, saw a cab coming and struggled to reach out and stop it.
Brian helped her into the car, "I'll walk you home."
"Yeah."
Alethea didn't refuse this time, probably realizing that she couldn't afford to go home by herself.
***
The road in the middle of the night is not as congested as it is during the day, the car is still moving forward smoothly. Brian was a little uncomfortable with the fact that Alethea was sitting next to him and no one was talking, so he cleared his throat, "Next time don't drink so much."
"Yeah." Alethea kept her eyes closed and actually did not fall asleep.
"Brother Brian has watched you grow up and knows you are a strong person." Brian felt like he hadn't spoken to her like that in a long time: "There's nothing wrong with losing your love, Brother Brian is still with you. When Eric gets over this temper, you can still be friends. Maybe there's hope for a fresh start, too, so don't give up on yourself."
She exhaled and smiled out the window, "When I was a kid, I sure didn't hate it as much as I do now."
"It's not nasty now either, just a little worse tempered and a little more venomous."
Alethea laughed softly and gradually quieted down, and when Brian looked over again, she had fallen completely asleep. She was tugging on the lapel of her chest with her right hand, and her brow was locked in an uneasy sleep.
Brian took his jacket off and put it over his body when Eric's phone call came in at the same time.
"Hello, Eric."
"How come you're not at the door?"
Brian was silent: "I just met Alethea at the door, I sent her home first."
Eric paused: "When?"
"When you walked in the door."
"......"
"She saw you guys and didn't follow you in. Do you think that's satisfactory?"
Brian finished the talk and hung up the phone.
***
It took Brian a lot of strength to carry Alethea home. The drunken person was simply horribly heavy, fortunately Alethea was quiet. He opened the apartment where Alethea and Eric used to live, panting, and a sour smell greeted him.
He put Alethea to bed with bated breath, searched carefully for the source of the smell, and found a table of rotten food on the dining room table. The dishes were all in place, untouched.
He fought the nausea to clean up everything, worried to go back to look at Alethea, see her stay asleep in the same position she came in, pick up her house keys and rush back to the bar.
***
The bar is full of people making fun of Eric's little white rabbit, causing the little white rabbit to turn red and keep burrowing behind Eric. Eric still has the same poker face, and is haunted by the hard to cast a warning look.
Brian rushed back and just sat down, and received a look from Eric. He picked up a shot and took a hard swig, pretending not to see it.
"Brian," Eric said, walking over to him.
"Nothing!" Brian glared at him in exasperation, "Fell asleep."
Eric nods and returns to his seat, somehow always focused on Brian. Seeing Brian alone with his mulled wine, he suddenly slapped his thighs, stood up and ran wildly out towards the outside.
He almost reflexively ran out after him.
Brian got a car and just sat in it, Eric followed and sat in.
Brian looked strangely at Eric, who had already given Alethea's address, urging the driver to set off.
"What are you afraid of?" Brian asked in the quiet air.
Eric didn't answer.
Brian's constant and persistent panic did not bring him the wrong message. Alethea was no longer in bed by the time he arrived with Eric.
Eric kicked open the bathroom door almost as soon as he could, and there was no one there.
It was Brian who found Alethea.
She was sitting in the corner of the kitchen with her knees in her arms, her head buried deep between her knees, sleeping without a sound.
Brian breathed a sigh of relief and turned around to find Eric following.
He walked over to try to carry her back to the bedroom, and after only three steps, he stopped in his tracks.
Alethea's blood was spreading all over the floor, and he couldn't afford to take another step, so frightened that he turned back to Eric and cast a look of help.
***
It was a night of chaos.
Fortunately, Alethea was not a rare blood type and was eventually resuscitated.
Brian thought Alethea was funny, not even finishing her suicide note, no wonder she didn't die successfully.
Her suicide note was placed on top of his cleaned-up dining room table.
It reads.
No day is good. It's bad when you wake up, it's bad when you fall asleep, it's bad at all times. I know every day after is bad because my waiting will be endless and I don't want to struggle in the middle of endlessness every day. I can't get anything back for my change
Brian couldn't figure out what Alethea had suddenly thought of or experienced, choosing to just slit her own artery.
There is something funny about that.
Brian laughed out loud and Eric tapped him on the shoulder in a strange way. He turned his head and quickly punched Eric in the face.
Eric's face quickly appeared bruised and he wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb, where a steady stream of blood began to flow.
"Ouch?" Brian laughed grimly.
Eric didn't fight back: "I'll go in and check on her."
Brian sat down against the wall of the corridor: "Eric, Cissy is at least the one we grew up with, are you really cruel?"
Eric pushed the door and didn't move, waiting for Brian to finish before walking into the ward with a push.
Alethea is awake, heard the sound of pushing the door turned his head to look over, a little out of breath.
Eric walked silently to her bedside and sat down, reached out and touched her forehead, "Why did you do that?"
"Ah ......" she let out a soft as if sighing ah, "probably because I drank too much."
"Don't drink anymore." He looked at her seriously.
"Okay."
"It mustn't happen again."
She thought hard about it and seemed to think of something unhappy, her brow furrowed, then tears fell silently.
Eric looked at her inexplicably.
He felt strange. He had seen Alethea grin and cry, he had seen Alethea cry like crazy, and he had seen her sobbing intermittently. Only he had never seen her look at him so calmly, and her tears were silent.
"Not anymore." Eric heard her reply.
"That's good."
"Eric, are we really done?"
He looked down at her, "Whether we're over or not, don't do this again. It will only make me more tired and it will only make your relationship with me worse."
"Oh." Alethea smiled to herself and spoke slowly, her voice so weak from the loss of blood that it was almost breathless: "I'm pretty tired too, I've been tired for a long time. I'm going to take a nap."
Eric nodded, then went out.
Alethea heard the sound of the door closing and truly experienced the feeling of being so tired that she couldn't even cry.
***
"Alethea's suicide" was used as a laughing stock in her circle of friends for a while, and Brian was sometimes so bored that he didn't want to participate in these dinners at all.
After Alethea was released from the hospital, he didn't see her again. He tried knocking on her door and waiting for her outside her house, but he never even saw her. The woman who used to be the center of attention everywhere she went had now learned to disappear without a trace.
He saw Alethea again in a very unexpected situation.
He met Alethea as one of the representatives of a new project at a dinner party, dressed in a simple professional suit, thinner than he had seen before, wearing light makeup, but not looking so good.
He was stunned, she had smiled at him: "Long time no see."
"When did you ...... go to work?"
"Two weeks now."
Brian nodded his head.
There was no further exchange between the two. He couldn't say what it felt like, yet Alethea treated him with that level of politeness, like the two were just nodding acquaintances, polite and detached.
***
After the meal, Brian stopped Alethea who was taking a cab: "I'll give you a ride."
Alethea pondered for a moment, still with that polite smile: "Then I'll trouble you."
"Don't be polite with me." Brian muttered, "Making it so awkward."
Alethea smiles apologetically and gives out an unfamiliar address.
Brian asks, "You moved?"
"Yeah."
"When?"
"A few days after I got out of the hospital."
"Does he ...... know?"
Brian asked hesitantly, immediately watching her face with concern after the question.
Alethea had a few seconds of disorientation, then answered with a flat expression, "He doesn't know."
Brian squeezed the steering wheel, he never knew it would be so difficult to talk to Alethea one day. The person next to him, though cloaked in Alethea's appearance, was not a bit like the Alethea he knew.
"How have you been?"
The last choice was such a cheesy one, but it was the question he was most concerned about.
"Fine."
Simple and perfunctory, then Alethea continued to be silent. He did not say another word until he sent Alethea to the address where she lived.
"Thank you for the ride, be safe on your way back." In the end, it was Alethea who said this after getting off the bus.
"Eh." He should, hesitating for a long time, and then said, "You ...... have difficulties to find brother Brian."
She nodded and shook her hand towards him, "Bye."
- Writer
