The Billionaire's Nanny

47

"Chris, are you awake?" a tiny distressed whisper woke me the next morning, followed by a tiny hand brushing the air away from my face. It was way smaller and much much weaker than the arms wrapped tightly around me.

"'Daddy?" a tiny voice called softly again and this time it was enough to make me jump awake.

I was locked firmly in Lucas's firm grip, more than half of my body hauled over him and the blankets covering us in the same spot he lay as we came home from the hospital.

"Chris," the distressed voice was Abby's. I looked up quickly to see her standing above us, her new favorite stuffed animal in her grasp. Her eyes were wide and curious and terrified too.

The living room was dark save for the dim lights that turned on whenever they sensed motion in the living room. "Princess," I whispered, stretching my hand out to take hers. "what is it, princess?"

Lucas's soft breathing warmed the exposed skin of my back and his large arms were holding me tight in place. There was no way I would try to move away without waking him.

"It's the blue monster," she said almost sobbing, "he took daddy, he's not in his room."

I was torn between being thankful that she could not see Lucas's arms draped over me and pressing me into him in the low lighting and sadness that his absence upstairs had made her scared.

"Oh princess," I pulled her closer, while my free hand tapped on Lucas's arm lightly to let go. "the blue man didn't take daddy. He's a little ill, but he will be fine."

"But he's not in his room," she sobbed a little louder than she had been speaking and that was enough to make Lucas jerk awake. A beat of silence passed before he released my waist and sat up behind me.

His eyes widened as he saw Abby who was now staring at both of us in confusion. "Oh fuc..."

I elbowed him lightly before he finished the word and forced a laugh, "fu-got. I forgot daddy was right here with me."

"Daddy," her attention soon fixed on him, "Daddy are you okay?"

"Of course I am princess, I told you daddy would be fine." his voice was gruff and hoarse and I used that as a chance to leave before Abby started asking curious questions, the why's and the what's about the position Lucas and I were a minute ago.

"I'll get you some water," I got to my feet, thankful that I had not considered going to change into my robe before joining him on the couch last night after his mom and family finally left.

When I returned to the living room, Lucas had turned on the large screen and Abby was transfixed to the sight of the PJ Masks, playing on NetFlix. I was relieved to see that she was no longer crying, in a minute though the house would be filled with new cries of her singing along with the theme song.

"It was the blue monster again," he told me as he approached me.

"Do you think she has to see someone?" I said carefully, weighing my words, "you know they are a little frequent."

"Nah," he laughed, brushing it with his hands, "I had nightmares of a fairy with beards until I was almost 10 years old."

"Faries with beards?" I turned to him in amusement.

"My sister watched almost every animation about fairies there are on the planet. Robin and I got sick of them and one thing led to another, my subconscious and tired mind would always picture a fairy with a beard whenever I was scared at night and it was a perfect recipe for a nightmare. It's generic within our family."

"Okay, that's fine. Now I'm not so worried, since I know she'll outgrow it." I stretched the glass to him, and he thanked me, finishing the water in a few large gulps. "How do you feel?" my legs ached to move closer, but I knew that was a bad idea with Abby sitting so loose.

Abby's squeals of excitement as she sang along with the screen drew our attention and Lucas had a big grin on his face watching his daughter for a few seconds, before turning back to me.

"Much better, and it's all because of you," without minding our audience, he placed a palm on my arm, rubbing gently.

"It's because you agreed to go to the hospital." I reminded him, squirming away from his touch, seeing as it was already doing things to my very responsive body so early in the morning.

"Please don't do that," he stepped closer, backing Abby and catching me in a tight embrace. "Don't try to avoid my hands on you"

"Lucas you cannot do this, apart from the fact that we are no longer together, Abby is barely 10 inches away from us right now." but I did nothing to push him away this time.

"She's focused on the TV, also, I'm just thanking you for being with me all through it." he stroked the back of my neck, trailing slowly to my shoulder.

"I need to get Aiden," I said quickly, suddenly backing away. My movement was so quick that it completely caught him gaurd. "he's probably awake too."

"Okay," he agreed, disappointed. "but you know we are not done with this conversation yet."

"There is no conversation Lucas. I was only doing my part as a human, there was nothing more to whatever happened between us in the last few days, it was just me taking care of my sick boss., whom I can see is healthy again, so I don't have to keep being so close to you."

"So do you always kiss you, boss when he's unwell?" he raised a brow.

"You kissed me, Lucas,"

"And you f*****g kissed me back," he barked, drawing Abby's attention to us. She gave us a worried look but was too distracted by her cartoon to ask what was up.

"Lucas," I said with a sigh as she turned her head back. "This is not a conversation I want to have here, so if you would please excuse me, I have too much to do today."

I pivoted and reached for the lift, only noticing his looming shadow behind me when I clicked the elevator button. I slid in quickly, using the buttons for the second floor, but he stopped the door from closing just in time with his knee.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he joined me and stopped the elevator from going up or down.

"You're right, this is not a conversation I want to have there, or anywhere else because I do not want to talk Chris." he closed the distance between us, gripping my things and lifting me up. A small cry escaped my lips as he slammed me against the wall of the elevator, bringing me lower to the bulge trying to break free from the restraint of his pants.

"Lucas..." my words were caught off by the taste of blood from his lips slamming into mine, kissing me harshly as he ground me against his erect and thick c**k.

"Say you haven't missed this," his words were a harsh pant on my skin and before I got the chance to lie to him, he bit the exposed flesh on my shoulder, eliciting a moaned, "yes." from me.

"'Yes what Muffin," he palmed my breasts through the thin cotton of the large t-shirt I had on.

"Yes, I missed this." I cried, moving my hips slowly against him.

"f**k," he groaned as his hands continued groping and squeezing and playing with my breasts through the dress I had on with not even a line of fabric underneath. "You don't have a bra on."

"I never sleep with one on," I explained needing the conversation part of this to end sooner.

"How have I not noticed I the last few days we had shared a bed," he dipped his head lower and bit my puckered n*****s through the shirt.

I meant to remind him that he was sick, but it came out as a long moan. "Tell me what else you have missed," he demanded, drawing a finger lazily over the moisture between my legs the only piece of fabric that separated his sleek, deft fingers from plunging into me was the pair of leggings I had on.

"I missed you, Lucas," I whimpered, "your touch, ad your kiss, and I missed you f*****g me,"

"Do you want me to f**k you?" he asked, pulling back enough to let me see the fire raging in his eyes.

"Yes please," I whimpered.

"All you need to do is ask me Muffin," his hand snaked under my dress and I gasped at the fiery contact with my hardened nubs. "I want to hear how much you need me to f**k this greedy wet p***y of yours." he leaned down to nibble my ears softly, then whispered, "I just need to hear a few words to get me taking you back up to my room and f**k your brains right out. That's all I have thought about these last two weeks."

His words soaked in through my brain and body like an addictive drug, and awareness washed through me. I could not go this far with Lucas, not again, not until I knew exactly where we stood, because that had been pretty unclear to me for weeks. "I need you to f**k me, Lucas," I said slowly, forcing myself to hold back from grinding against him, "but I cannot have s*x with you until I know exactly where I stand in your life."

His body stiffened, but he did not pull back, instead, his eyes met mine, searching for what I could not yet figure out. "You are my girlfriend Chris," he said without the faintest hint of doubt.

He looked confused but did not hold me on as I hinted to him to put me down. "That's the problem Lucas," I smoked my shirt back down. "A girlfriend is next to nothing when compared to a wife."

"Ex-wife," he yelled, slamming his fist on the metal wall.

"Ex indicates a former tiltle. Ex-wife, Ex-girlfriends, Ex-boss, it mean something you have let go of, you clearly have not let go of Sarah Lucas." I forced the words past my mouth because it was the truth, and that hurt even more.

"You sound so sure." he scoffed.

"You were writing her Lucas. Every damn day for five years." I reminded him.

"Until the f*****g day I met you." he roared, "why would you not just understand that I decided to let go of her the day I met you."

"Then why is she coming in between us now?" I tilted my head and chewed the inside of my cheeks.

I was not going to cry, not today.

"You are putting her in between us Chris." his accusation stung.

I chuckled humorlessly, looking away, "You know the last time I told you Sarah texted me was not really the last day she texted me," he looked at me in shock "she texted again when you were taking a shower and she opened my eyes to that room. She made me go in there. And do you know what she said?" I forced a laugh, "Every closet has its own skeletons and my boyfriend whom I'm trying to trust with all my heart is no f*****g exception to the rule." he stiffened immediately I talked about closets. "So do not push this on me. It's your secrets, your lies, your past, that's what's coming in between us, and it's only so because you are allowing it to."

"Why would you not give me a chance to fix this, " he took my hand, but that was all he did.

"I'm not stopping you from fixing us, Lucas. You know what to do..."

"I don't, so please tell me what it would take to have you back," he pleaded. "Show me how to show you that I really have gotten over Sarah."

"First off, stop comparing me to her," for some reason, that hurt the most. "I am not Sarah Lucas, we may have a resemblance but that is all it is." the first difference would be that I was never going to abandon the kids for any reason, "I know you mean it in the best possible way when you try to see the difference between us, but it hurts—" I choked on a sob, "It hurts so much and you'll never forget her if you keep trying to see how and why we are different."

He started saying something, but I held a hand up,  "Next, stop trying to tracking her trying to know where the f**k she is and when."

"She already left the US." he explained.

"See what I'm talking about? She might have left the country but are still live deep inside your heart," I poked his chest as I spoke, "and until she is out of there, I cannot fit in and I will never force myself to be in a place where I don't fit in."

"Sarah is not in my heart Christine." he gives an exhausted sigh.

"No?"

"Long gone," he promised.

"Then will you burn down and destroy everything and memory that has to do with Sarah in that room?" I tilted my head, watching him expectantly as I spoke, "will you do that for me?"