Guarded: Worth the Risk

Chapter 12

                                                                                          Natalia

            Fear, anger, and Panic.

            Sheer Panic.

            My chest is tight, and all the muscle in my body are tense. I try to close my eyes to sleep, but my body is restless, and my mind is racing. Orlando Salvatore is at the forefront tonight when he should still be locked away with the memories, I worked so hard to forget. Yet he’s here. His word from the note radiating through my mind like a song on repeat.

            See you soon! O.

            How is any of this possible? The fact that he was at the gala, undetected at that, when he should be locked away in a prison somewhere boggles my mind. I should have acted like everything was perfectly fine when I received the note, but the reality is that nothing was fine. Orlando Salvatore is a murderous prick, not a f*****g knight in shining armor like I had thought five years ago and should be locked up. So, when Nico questioned me about the note and who O was, I froze like a deer in headlights. I was only trusting enough to give him O’s name. I’m not sure who I can trust right now, especially when it feels as if someone appears to be conspiring against me. 

            I should be able to trust Nico, right? He’s my bodyguard and someone who Lorenzo would trust with his own life, considering they are family, so why wouldn’t I trust him with mine.

            After another hour of tossing in turning, regardless of how tired I am, I make my way to the kitchen to make some tea in hopes that it will ease my mind. I turn the corner and see a half-naked Nico sitting at the kitchen island drinking a bottle of water.

            “Can’t sleep?” I say startling him from behind before walking to the opposite side of the island.

            I can tell by the expression on his face that somethings weighing on his mind. The silence between us ever since the car ride home is deafening.

            I should have said something sooner about everything, but here we are.

            “Natalia, you have to tell me about this Orlando guy.” He finally speaks.

            I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. I want to tell him; I know I have to tell him. But how can I know for sure that I trust him. I want to trust him, all of him, but I’ve been burned before by someone I thought I loved. The feelings I get from being around Nico bring me back to that time when I was so naïve which is why I am so hesitant.

            I open my eyes looking straight at Nico. “I want to tell you Nico, but I’m afraid.”

            “Afraid? Of me?”

            “No that’s not what I meant-“He cuts me off.

            “Of what then? Him? This Orlando guy who no one has informed me about till you mentioned him tonight.” Standing from his stool at the island he makes his way around to where I’m standing, gripping my hips pulling me close to him. The feeling of his warmth and closeness sends a electric shock down my spine. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

             I pull away creating some space between us. I want to tell him, but I’m just so conflicted.

            “You can trust me Natalia and I can protect you in every way possible, but you have to meet me halfway.” He say’s while closing the gap between us once again.

            I turn around my face meeting his chest, I watch as it rises up and down, his breathing fast. “I don’t even know you. You have to know someone to trust them.”

            “Well then, lets chat away. It would be nice to know that I’m not hanging out with some Mob princess or serial killer.” He says taking a step away from me, moving back to his seat on the other side of the island.

            His loss of touch leaves me craving more. This could be a good thing, get to know him, trust him, tell him all about your crazy psycho ex, then f**k him. s**t. Natalia there you go again, get your mind out of the gutter, he’s your employee.

            I plop down on the stool next to him taking a sip of my tea before looking at him. “So shoot. What’s it like being a s*x Grecian god look alike?”

            f**k me. You did not just say that Natalia.

            He chuckles. “Something on your mind that you’d like to share with the class boss lady?”

            “I don’t know- I mean look at you.” Oh god. Please save me from this embarrassment.

            “I’m a sarcastic, desensitized workaholic. Which now that I think about it is probably why my fiancé cheated on me. Guess I wasn’t there for her enough.”

            I snort. “Well looks like we have that in common. The workaholic part at least, and maybe some sarcasm. Ever since my brother, all I’ve done is work. My ex on the other hand tried to make me the opposite. Wanted me to stay home and be a doubting housewife. Who knows where his c**k could have been though.”

            “I’m sensing a bit of potty mouth as well.”

            “In a non-professional environment, yes. I excel in profanity. Especially when I’m drunk or my filter has magically disappeared.”

            “No judgement. I like a woman who’s not afraid to talk a little dirty.”

            I cover my face to hide the blush that has risen to my cheeks, as he looks away in a bit embarrassed at the realization as to what he just said.

            “Sorry, overstepping that boundary here. You’re my boss and I didn’t mean to say it like that. Back home, my partner and I could say s**t like that all we wanted to each other and not have it taken out of context, but this is completely new territory for me. So, I’m trying to remain professional here.”

            “You’re off the clock. My professionalism went out the window the moment I said c**k and confessed how I think you look like a Greek god.” Yep, I’m digging myself a hole right now.

            “Well, I would like to keep this relationship as professional as possible.”

            “That’s going to be a pretty tough task for me.” I say above a whisper. The chemistry between us is undeniable, in fact the s****l tension between us is as thick as pea soup.

            He lets out a loud sigh standing from his seat. “I think it’s time we call it tonight. I have a pretty demanding boss that requires an early start to her day.”

            “I think your boss could make an exception this once.” I smirk. “Plus, how is your boss expected to trust you if you cut the conversation short?”

            “I have to remain focused to make sure you are protected and taken care of.”

            “I have a few things in mind that can help you take care of me without me leaving your sight once.” I can’t help but eye his body as he stands to walk towards the kitchen sink. I bite my bottom lip. “Plenty of ways, both fun and pleasurable.”

            Yup, there I go again. Blurring the lines.

            He’s single. I’m definitely single.

            It’s a beautiful disaster waiting to happen.

            The more I think about it, Dimitri has a point. My v****a is in need for a shafting.

            I know I shouldn’t cross the line with him, but the more I talk to him, the attraction and appeal of Nico is changing my mind, my heart begins to race as he makes his way back to me, pulling me to my feet. The closeness between us has me absolutely drenched.

            He wraps his arms around my waist as I stumble into his hard chest. I lower my head down to hide the embarrassment on my face, but he tilts my chin, so my eyes meet his. The feeling that has overcome me is too much and I take it as a sign to kiss him. Standing on my tiptoes, my lips crash into his, his finger gripping my waist tighter pulling me closer to his body. His tongue slips in between my lips, as our kiss deepens.

            What the f**k do you think your doing Natalia. Big mistake. Big f*****g mistake, but the connection between us is undeniable. The kiss is passionate. Sensual. Intoxicating.

            When my brain finally regains control, I pull away. His fingers still lingering on my hips. I’m quick to break the touch and place some space between us. I cover my face with my hands as if I’m ashamed of what just happened.

            He clears his throat, trying to ease the tension before speaking. “I’m sorry. I crossed a line tonight and its not ok.”

            Not ok? Seriously. I plaster a fake smile on my face in an attempt to feel less humiliated and foolish for thinking he felt it too.

I grab my tea cup off the counter and walk towards the sink. My embarrassment consuming me completely now.

            “You’re right. I apologize, I crossed that line as well.” I whisper making sure to not make eye contact with him. “Lets just forget this ever happened.”

            “We can do that.”

            I wish we wouldn’t though. I would love for nothing more, then him sitting me on this kitchen island and eating me like an egg McMuffin.

            “You must think the worst of me. Kissing an employee.” I try to stop myself from rambling and becoming unfiltered. “God I’m an HR nightmare.”

            His jaw clenches as if he’s becoming agitated by my self pity. “Why would I think the worst of you?”

            “I’m your employer. I crossed the line and became inappropriate with an employee.” I throw my hands in the air with frustration while trying to hold back the emotions threatening to spill any moment. “You must think I’m pretty desperate if I have to kiss an employee. Why would you be attracted to someone who has all these secrets and baggage anyhow? I’m a walking train wreck with a past that not even-Steven King his self would want to write about.”

            His tone softens. “It takes two to tango Natalia. I chose to cross that line with you, even though I swore to myself I wouldn’t.” He flashes a slight smile. “You’re not the only one who has baggage and secrets. Everyone has a past.”

            “I’m sorry I gave you the wrong idea.” I turn towards him making finally making eye contact. “I need to ask you a question, and you have to answer me honestly.”

            He nods his head, his lips slightly tilting upward.

            “What all do you know about me?”

            I can see the wheels in his head spinning. I know he knows more then he’s leading on.

            “Please Nico. Be honest with me.”

            “I know your father used to have part of your company in illegals dealings. That you were on the FBI watch list for some time, but then quickly became a highly protected witness and asset to them. However, what I don’t know is what this Orlando guy did that was so horrible, and why you just won’t tell me. I won’t lie and say that I’m ok with not knowing, because in actuality I’m concerned. I’m concerned with the fact that because I’m so attracted to you, and you won’t tell me about your past, that I’m just going to be blinded by it all and not be able to do my job to the best of my abilities.” He draws in a sharp breath. “There. I laid it all out on the table.”

            I nod and my breath hitches as he pulls me in close to his chest in an attempt to break the tension between us. I stay quiet as he brushes my hair out of my face.

            “I’ll respect your wishes of telling me in your own time, but please don’t wait too long.” He pulls away taking my hand in his. “I think this is enough for tonight, we could both use some shuteye.”

            We walk down the hallway towards our rooms, both of us staying quiet. He stands at the doorway of my room, watching as I pull back the covers to climb into bed. Turning on his heels in silence he flips off the light switch and shuts the door behind him.

            So many feelings. So many emotions. The storm brewing within me is almost too much to handle, unlike any I’ve experienced before. Nico being the driving force behind it all. His admission to being attracted to me confirms it all, but I have to tread lightly. The chances of getting struck by lightening twice are slim, but never unlikely.