Guarded: Worth the Risk

Chapter 14

                                                                                        Natalia

            If I was the head of human resources, I would fire myself.

            Humiliation overcomes me as the events of last night flash through my mind a mile per minute.

            I basically threw myself at Nico and he rejected me.

            The realization of the other events that had occurred last night begin to flash through my mind next. The note. Orlando.

            The fear, panic and anxiety had my mind reeling and convinced me that the comfort Nico was offering me meant he wanted to f**k me six ways to Sunday.

            It’s been five years since the most serious relationship of my life and a few months since the last time I really put myself out there. I’ll never do that again, especially since he made it very clear that I was his boss and should only remain as his boss. It’s a huge wake up call, a smack to my too big for my own good ego. Why would I ever think it’s ok to get involved with an employee.

            I can’t be mad at him. I have no one to blame but myself, that and the past that keeps coming back to haunt me more way’s than one recently.

            Nico was right, we both shouldn’t have crossed that line.

            I enter my bathroom and see my hair is tied into a knotty bird’s nest on my head and mascara is smudge across my face. I release my hair from the bun, wipe the mascara from my face and climb in the shower in hopes that the steam and hot water will erase away all the memories and mortification from last night. I brush through my wet hair and pull it back up into a messy bun before throwing on work out clothes and heading to the gym for my super late morning routine. Nico is walking out as I enter, a permanent scowl staining his face.

            I don’t look in his direction as he leaves and head straight for the treadmill hoping that some cardio will clear my mind.

            “Natalia?” His deep voice echoes through me as I begin my warmup jog.

            “Yes?” I mutter.

            Act normal Natalia. Like nothing happened. Maybe the two years of theater classes in college will pay off.

            I begin to increase the speed on the treadmill, my entire body pulsing at his closeness. I try to focus on my self in the mirror as I begin to start running.

            He clears his throat before getting straight to the point. “Can we talk about last night.”

            I focus on my breathing as my speed increases once again. “What about it?” I pant out.

            “Look, I can see it all over your face that your bothered by it.”

            I slow my speed and jump my feet to the sides of the treadmill looking back at him in the mirror. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We agreed that we would forget all about whatever happened, so that’s what I’m expecting you to do.”

            “Yeah, but now things are just awkward. We should really talk about it.”

            “I guess well agree to disagree on that.”

            He crosses his arms over his chest as if he’s annoyed as I hope back on the treadmill and increase the speed once again. “Well then, your just gonna have to f*****g listen to me while I talk to you about it.”

            Seriously? Why can’t he just let this go. I’m over it. He rejected me, what more needs to be said.

            He props himself up against the mirror as I run out my frustrations on the treadmill. “I hope you don’t think that I want nothing to do with you, physically and emotionally.” Too late for that. “You’re absolutely gorgeous and I did admit to you last night that I’m attracted to you.”

            His attempt to keep this relationship strictly professional is failing. Remembering his confession from last night with his admission of being attracted to me again, only makes me want him more.

            “You were vulnerable, emotionally exhausted. An no matter how lonely, vulnerable or emotional we both are, we should have never let it get that far. Also, the fact that you’re my boss plays a factor.”

            “Lonely?” I huff out. “you must have me confused with someone else because I’m not lonely.”

            His scowl from earlier never changes as he gives me an all-knowing look that he’s reading right through my bullshit.

            I keep my speed consistent while keeping eye contact with his reflection in the mirror. “It was a mistake, a one-time lapse in judgement. So, let’s forget about it and move on.”

            “Fine. Have it your way. I just wanted to clear the elephant from the room.”

            “Mission accomplished.” I begin to slow the speed of the treadmill. “Are you hungry? I can make a mean egg sandwich if you’re interested.” I don’t cook often since I barely have time and have Mrs. O’Malley to do that for me, but when I give her off I try to fend for myself.

            “Sure.”

            I finish my workout and head to the kitchen, washing my hands before pulling a carton of eggs from the fridge. Nico takes a seat at the breakfast bar with his face buried in his phone, intently typing something. I don’t say anything, but the tension in the room is still there.

            I place some butter in the frying pan before turning it onto low heat while in another bowl I scramble four eggs. While the eggs cook on low heat, I butter the insides of four pieces of bread. Nico and I share a couple glances between one another but not a single word is spoken. I divide the eggs evenly between the two plates and place the plates down on the island, my stomach now growling due to the mouth-watering aroma that has quickly filled the room.

            Nico takes a bite of his sandwich and lets out a loud groan as if this is the best things he’s eaten in a long time. “On a scale of 1-10 I have to give this an 11. Didn’t think you had it in you, but I’m pleasantly surprised at how damn good this is.”

            I nod and let out a small chuckle. “Geez, thanks.” The sarcasm spewing off my lips. I watch him eat unable to touch my food. Questions are eating at me, some that are none of my business, but have me too curious not to ask.

            “So,” I say clearing my throat. “What really happened between you and your lady back home?” I ask before taking a bit of my sandwich finally.

            Nico almost chokes on his food, taking sip of his water before answering. “She was f*****g one of her co-workers behind my back. Having some private business meetings after hours in our bedroom.”

            “Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.”

            “She was my high school sweetheart. I thought she would have been the mother of my children and all, but I guess she proved me wrong on that. I should have known she was doing some shady s**t behind my back. She stopped asking me for s*x and basically forced me to take the overtime work was offering.”

            “So, how long has it actually been then?” I ask.

            “Been since what?” His brows furrowed.

            “Since you’ve had sex.”

            I know I shouldn’t be prying, especially since he’s now made it perfectly clear that this is strictly professional, but I can’t help myself.

            “Honestly? Probably 2-3 months.”

            “Welcome to the club.”

            “Oh, come on. You mean to tell me that you’ve been Selabid for 3 months?”

            I nod my head as I finish eating my breakfast. Selabid is not exactly the words I would use. I’ve had several opportunities, especially last night.

            “Ever thought of just having senseless meaningless s*x with someone?” I could smack myself for just blurting that out without thinking about it first.

            “Like I’ve said before. I’ve only been with one woman. Plus, I’m not really a sharing type.”

            My breath hitches at his words. I know we’ve agreed to keep this strictly professional, but I can’t stop myself from remember his lips on mine and what they would feel like other places on my body. I stare at his lips, watching as he runs his tongue across them before making eye contact with him again.

            The room fills silence, both of unsure where this conversation was actually heading. “Well, this just got awkward.” Nico mutters out.

            I break our eye contact and make my way over the sink, rinsing my plate and placing it in the dishwasher before turning and leaving the room. The rest of the day I find ways to preoccupy myself, so I don’t make the situation with Nico anymore awkward.

            “He’s been avoiding me like I have the bubonic plague.” I say to Dimitri on the phone while I get ready for work. It’s been four days since I decided to throw myself at Nico and embarrass myself.

            “I doubt that. He’s probably just secretly jerking off to the memory of your kiss till you finally come to your senses and realize you two are made for each other.”

            I don’t know Nico that well, but the attraction and connection between us is honestly there. He reminds me of Leo- kindhearted, and when it comes to business, doesn’t believe in mixing business with pleasure. The exact reason why Leo never fully approved of my relationship and marriage to Orlando. I was playing with fire and was bound to get burnt, scratch that I did get burnt.

            Since the night of the Gala my mind has been reeling. I have yet to come clean to Nico about Orlando and now that I’ve managed to make the situation more awkward, I’m not sure I can even tell him. I’m being ridiculous, I know, but I’m a broken soul. One that may never be able to trust again.

            I fake gag into the phone. “Thanks for that image Dimitri, but I doubt it.”

            He chuckles. “You’re hopeless, you know that?”

            “Yes, and not a day goes by that you don’t remind me of it.” I let out an annoyed sigh. “Now go over my agenda today.”

            Dimitri runs through the days agenda which seems to be filled with boring meetings. He continues rambling about the deadlines we have to meet; all I can think about is Nico. What will he think when I tell him everything? Would he quit in the drop of a hat? Would he look at me differently? I need to stop, but no matter how hard I try my mind brings me right back to him.

            “Natalia, did you hear me? 12 o’clock meeting with you’re attorney. Something important to discuss?” Dimitri say’s into the phone pulling me back to reality.

            I shake my head and let out a loud sigh. “Yeah, sorry. 12 o’clock. Did they say what it was about?” I question trying to make it seem like I was paying a little attention to what he was saying in an attempt to cover up where my mind is at right now. It’s filled with thoughts of a man who isn’t mine but is steeling my heart slowly but surely.

            “No.” He pauses for a moment. “Oh, by the way- Vincent is sick, so it looks like you’ll have to drive yourself in today.”

            My mood lightens a little at the thought of having a car alone with Nico today.

            “Great. See you soon.” I say before quickly hanging up.

            I stand in the foyer reading some emails on my phone when Nico finally enters the room. His sleeves on his dress shirt are rolled exposing his muscular forearms and its takes everything in my power to not stare at him.

            “Vincent is out sick today, so you’ll be driving today.” I say turning to walk towards the garage.

            I feel like he’s studying my ever move when I throw him the keys to my limited-edition Shelby Mustang. I smile taking in his reaction. “What never seen a mustang before?”

            Nico laughs. “Sure, I have, just never thought I’d see a limited-edition Shelby Mustang though.”

            I can’t help but return a playful smirk. “Well today’s your lucky day. Sure, you can handle it?”

            I can’t help but feel giddy at the sight of the mischievous smirk playing at his lips. “Believe me darling, I can handle much more then you think.” His warm breath brushing across my skin having me go weak at the knees.

            Walking into my office I can’t help but notice the large bouquet of red roses and a beautifully wrapped gift box. I release a chuckle because I have a feeling of who its exactly from, Declan O’Brady. Asshat couldn’t take the hint I’m guessing. I examine the bouquet and the outside of the gift box for a note but come up empty. I know Declan would want it to be known that he’s making such a grand gesture so the fact that its not staring me right in the face has me concerned.

            “So, Whose it from?” Dimitri just as curious as the rest of us.

            “There’s no note.”

            “Maybe it’s in the gift box.”

            “Maybe.” I say as I quickly unwrap the perfectly wrapped box opening it, fumbling with the tissue paper to see what’s inside or if a note happens to be lingering around.

            My heart pounds in my chest, and for a second I feel as if my heart had stopped, but on the outside, I’m screaming dropping the box at my feet. I suck in a deep breath as Nico pulls me into his chest, his smell completely consuming my senses in an attempt to erase what I’ve just seen. The decaying finger containing my brothers class ring reassures me that the note is real, all of them. I don’t hear a single sound around me, it’s as if the world has faded to black with only the sound of one name pulling me back to reality.

            “No. Call Agent Romero.”

            Agent Anthony Romero.

            Tall. Dark. Handsome and doesn’t f**k around. He enters the room as he did the day, he came to me with information that Orlando was not the person I thought he was. His mouth is pressed into a tight line, but slightly curves into a smile when he sees me.

            “Long time, no see or speak.”

            I look him up and down narrowing my eyes at him with a sincere smile at my lips. “You know the phone works both ways.” I say stating the obvious.

            During Orlando’s investigation, we developed a friendship and once Orlando was arrested and sentenced, we tried to see if there was something more, but eventually decided we were better off apart. I glance at Nico and see that’s he’s tensed at Anthony’s friendliness towards me.

            “Wasn’t expecting to hear from you again. You know after we-“A growl cut’s him off and I know it’s from Nico.

            “Actually, I called you.” He say’s extending his hand for a firm handshake. “Nicholas Gambini, Ms. Mezzanotte’s head of security.” He words meaning business, but his body language says it’s much more.

            “Ok, so what’s going on.” His smile fades as he crosses his arms.

            Nico, walks to my desk, handing him the box and note. Anthony’s brows furrowing with just as much confusion as the rest of us.

            “Pardon my language, but what the f**k is this?” he asks now generally concerned.

            He pulls his phone from his pocket dialing back to headquarters requesting back up and a APB on Orlando. If we can’t confirm that he’s locked up, then every station and person in the Chicago area needs to be on high alert. “How is this even possible? That bastard is locked up so tight that not even Santa Claus could get in or out undetected.”

            “That’s why you’re here.” I mutter in hushed tones as if I am reliving the worst years of my life all over again.

            He looks at me with soft eyes as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking. “You think he’s out and no one notified you like they were supposed to.”

            I nod my head in agreement. He places his hands on my shoulders to relax the tension that has been building since I’ve received the package. “Well figure this out Talia. I promise.”

            Anthony turns to walk out of my office to make some more phone calls. I link eyes with Nico whose standing on the opposite side of the room and now know that he knows more about this situation then he’s leading on. Just as I’m making my way to speak to him, he turns and stops Anthony for a moment. “Also, I would like to be filled in on everything and anything pertaining to this guy.”

            He nods his head in agreement and they both look back at me. I know this is a conversation that’s long overdue and is about to happen any moment. As much as I want to fight this, I can’t avoid it any longer. Orlando is a spider locked in on his prey and I’m the poor bug who’s stuck in his web of lies still, no matter how many times I try to get out, I somehow get pulled back in.