The Daughter Of Dawn

The fateful encounter - AVILA

It was quarter to 5 in the morning when I got up from my bed. The sun was almost up. I couldn't sleep the whole night. I kept thinking why I couldn't say no to him, why I couldn't push him away. I don't love him anymore, I don't have to do anything with him, so why? Is it the way he looked into my eyes, those eyes that had lost their light, that they weren't the same innocent eyes that needed someone to tell them that they're perfect, that they're unlike anyone in the whole world, that they're needed and cherished. Now all I can see is his eyes wandering without any light in them. I could feel his gaze lingering around me, the gaze that wasn't longing for someone or yearning for someone, they were the gaze of a man pining away from the world. I don't know what happened to me back then. I couldn't control myself, his touch just made me paralysed. I was stuck at the time, the moment of desire, urge, craving swept in, I couldn't think, I stopped thinking. I thought I would come back to senses before anything happened, but I didn't. I was swayed by his voice, by his touch, by his closeness to me. Everything that I had ever felt for him, that I had trapped inside my deepest parts just opened up. That itch to hold him closer, that desire to be touched by him, that thirst to have him, everything just popped opened. I didn't realise when I gave up denying him. All I could remember was the lust, the lust that I saw in his eyes, the lust that I felt in me, it knitted us so tightly, that it was far from difficult to resist each other. I couldn't just push him away, I didn't want to. If it wasn't for Damir, I wouldn't have stopped, I wouldn't have ran away, I would've stayed there with him, deep into each other's arms. I never knew I can feel something like that, a part of me is scared. I don't want to go back to him. I don't want the history to repeat itself again. I don't want to get hurt again, I can't afford to. I have to get my head sorted, I can't go on like this for the whole day. I can't just be swayed by the temptations.

I came out of my tent to breathe some fresh air. I wanted some air to get into my head. I jogged towards the north of the camp, the road up here leads to the hill. They say morning sunrise looks most beautiful from there, the sun comes from the land of Vizophini towards us, it crosses two borders separated by water, which makes it more beautiful. The crest of the dam connects the two lands. The side from Vizophini was barred after the fall of the Smithsonian Dukedom. Now people from our side, visit all the way up here to admire the sun crossing between the two lands separated by the water. I jogged till I reached the middle of the crest of the dam. It was almost morning, a few minutes and I could see the Sun crossing two lands with water separating them.

I saw a figure leaning across the fence looking towards the sun. It was Damir. I stopped where I was. I don't want to talk with him, not after how we ended up yesterday. He could have not mentioned seeing me and Zeno together, but he did. It was so embarrassing, I always get people talking about him and me, but never in front of me, but he straight up came and just said it on my face, he said the fact that I couldn't even deny. No matter how much I run away, I always reach the same place, I can never say it wasn't me, it was always about him and me, it's always us. I turned back to leave. I can't have a conversation now.

"Cap!"

He saw me.

"Morning Damir." I replied, turning back to him. I don't want this conversation.

"Came for the sunrise?" He asked. His eyes looked sleep derived, he looked like he was here for the whole night.

"Were you here the whole night?" I asked, going near him.

"What?" He looked at me. He was drinking the whole night, I can see the beer cans rolling around him.

"You're drunk!" I said holding him, trying to make him steady.

"What? Noooo it was just a few drinks." He said, waving his hand in the air. I could smell booze around him.

"Can you walk? Want me to help you back to the camp?" He didn't look steady to me.

"Come on! come here, it's here!" He said dragging me to his side.

I looked at the sky, it was beautiful. The sun spread an orange hue all across the sky, it looked grand, gigantic. The blue water of the Dionysia reflects all of the colour, making a perfect mirror image of the sky. It is a sight to behold. I looked at him, his eyes were stuck to the sky. He gazed at the sky and the water with his mouth open. He looked like a kid, a kid who is excited to see every new thing in the world. I could feel his eyes glistening, they looked familiar. His eyes are filled with innocence, I can see life in them, I can feel the childishness in them, just like someone before, just like Zeno when we first met, when we first fell in love. As moments passed the sun crossed the river and came to our land. Nothing lasts forever, just like minutes of this beautiful scenery, just like Zeno and my love for each other.

"Let's go back. I'll get some medicines for your hangover." I said, holding his arm to keep him steady. He looked at me. He didn't say anything, he just stared at me. I don't know why he always does that. I looked away from him.

"I'm sorry, for yesterday. I don't know that it'd upset you." He said after some time. I turned looking at him. He was looking at me, his eyes looked like doe eyes. They looked like they were brimming with tears of regret ready to fall anytime. He is so innocent, I can't even be angry with him.

"Okay! let's go now." I replied. I tried pulling him but he didn't even budge, he was still like stone. What now?

"Look, really I regretted saying that. I'm really sorry, I am just so obnoxious sometimes that I don't even realize myself."

"Is that why you were here? Drinking all night?" I asked him. That can't be true, right? He was looking at me, I felt like he really did felt apologetic about it.

"It doesn't matter." He said, shaking his head. He did, he was here all night repenting. His eyes were drooping. I can see he is losing his focus.

"Hey! look at me! It's fine, I'm saying it's fine, Okay?" I said to him, patting his face lightly. He looked at me again. I'm feeling sleepy looking at him. I came here to refresh my mind, it's just getting more messier.

All of sudden I felt his head leaning on my shoulder. I don't know how to react to it, I can push him away, but I don't think he is sober enough to stand on his own. I tried pushing him away, holding his arms to make him steady.

"I'm sorry." He muttered into my ear. I don't think he is in his right state of mind. I don't know why I'm even dealing with this drunk kid here.

"Yes, you said that before. It's fine Damir, I'm okay!" I replied, making him stand still.

"So you aren't angry anymore, right?" He said, opening his eyes finally. They've turned red due to his childish sleepless night out.

"Yes, I'm not."

"And you're not angry that I'm like this?" He asked. Can we stop this here? I can't be more patient than this. Does it even matter if I'm angry or not? Why is it even necessary?

"I'm not angry Damir! I'm concerned." I shouted at him, this is it, this is the end of my patience. I'm angry now.

"I'm sorry." He said it again. I'll just take him back.

"It's fine. Let's go." I said to him, holding his h arm, to take him back.

"Come on in!" I said to him as we reached my office. I have a few pills of Ibuprofen with me.

"Hi Doc!"

I looked inside to see who it was. It was Koch, I haven't seen him in a few days.

"Morning Koch!" I said to him getting inside.

"Wooo! What is this?" He said looking at Damir who entered after me.

"I found him drunk in the dam, bought him back before he could jump off it." I said jokingly.

"I wasn't jumping. I was looking!" Damir said, as he tripped on one of the table's corners.

"He needs saving." Koch said after seeing his condition.

"I'm not a drunk buddy." Damir said as he walked towards Koch. He wounded his hand around Koch's neck. I could see how baffled Koch was. His face turned red, I don't know what it is but it was hilarious.

"Let him go. He is just a kid." I said to Koch, patting his shoulder. He rolled his eyes on me.

"Damir, come here." I called Damir, he tripped again falling on me.

"Help me get him up!" I said to Koch. He just simply raised his hands, shaking his head in no. How annoying can he be?

"Damir!" I said, holding his shoulders to straighten him up. He stood up, looking down at me. I never thought he was so tall, until he came this close to me. He was looking at me, just like before, wanting to say something but couldn't.

"Sit here." I told him, making him sit on the chair. I took out a strip of Ibuprofen from my drawer and handed him two of them.

"So what made the great Koch come all the down here to my office?" I asked Koch, after taking care of Damir.

"Your letters. You were too busy to get them for yourself." He replied, pointing at the bunch of letters laying on my table.

I've been so muddled headed since I met the King of Vizophini. I don't know what he meant, but his words were buzzing in my mind like a constant reminder. What if my father really is alive? What if whatever he was saying is true? Can I really meet my father? I don't even know what he looks like. I couldn't think of anything else. I just want to know if he is alive, if he is missing me just the way I am missing him. I couldn't get my mind focused on anything other than that. I looked at the pile of letters, nothing looked different from before.

"Any reason for personally coming over and giving them to me?" I asked. He wasn't a person who just came by to catch a chat.

"Am I not allowed to do that?" He said.

"Of course not, I would love to have you here." I said to him. He is like a brother I never had to me.

"I came for this." He said picking up a letter from the pile and handing it to me.

"See I knew it! You won't come here unless there's something." I said to him, trying to act like I didn't buy his first excuse.

"That's mean!" He replied.

"So what is it?" I asked, tearing up the envelope. It has a government seal on it.

"Due to the flood, lots of people are infected with disease and injuries, the government decided to send a batch of medical teams to assist our district to help those people. This is the list of the doctors who are coming over here." Koch said. I took out the paper from the envelope.

"Are you sure you want to see it?" Koch grabbed my hand, stopping me from opening the letter.

"Yes!?!" I know what he is concerned about, I'm sure it won't be. The world isn't such the small place for such coincidence to happen.

I opened the letter. My eyes scanned all the names of the doctors, unknowingly I was also hoping for not seeing the name I was thinking about. My eyes fell on one name, just one name that I was hoping not to see. My eyes stopped scanning, they just froze. This can't be. How can this be happening? I see her name. Clear. And bold.

Clementine Pscihe.

Koch took the letter from my hand, he knew exactly what a saw. His fears came true. She is coming here. I started remembering all the dreadful memories again. My eyes were blurring, I couldn't focus. I could see it happening again. I can see blood. I see blood everywhere.

I saw him bleeding. His blood was all over me. He was dying. I couldn't do anything. I felt like I was paralysed. I couldn't move my arms, as if they were stuck. Our eyes met, I saw the expression of his face. They were looking at me, they were terrified, as if they've seen the dead, as if they were seeing death. My hands tried stopping the blood from flowing. I tried to stop the blood gushing out. He groaned, he said it hurts. He told me to stop pressing, he told me to let go. He asked me to stop trying to save him. He was crying, he told me it was okay, that he'll be fine. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to listen to him, I don't want to do what he asked for. I looked at him, I saw the fear had left from his eyes, he was already letting himself go.

"Bart. Bart. Listen to me. Bart. Don't go please. Bart. Please Bart. Stay awake. They are coming. Bart please. Please stay with me." I screamed. Tears rolled down my eyes. I still can vividly remember every single second of that day, only if I wasn't so incapable back then, only if I could have saved him.

"Vila?" Koch shrugged my shoulder.

I looked at him. Tears fell uncontrollably from my eyes, I tried so hard to stop them, but I couldn't.

"Koch do something! Please do something!" I begged him.

Koch looked at me, he rubbed my shoulders to calm me down.

"Please Koch, Please!" I said holding his shirt. He hugged me, patting my back slowly.

"Get me assigned somewhere! Any village anywhere!" I begged him.

"How can you go alone? I cannot let you do that!"

"I can do it! I'm fine with anything." I cried in his arms. I want to run away, go far away from her.

I pulled myself out from his hug, I can't do this, I'm not brave enough to face her. I already have lots of stuff in my plate, I don't want it to grow bigger. I looked at Koch, I can feel him getting distressed too. He knew what I did, and what I deserve.

"Anywhere Koch, Anywhere!" I begged him again.

"I can't let you go alone, Vila." He said looking away from me.

"I'll go with her."

I turned back to the corner of the room where the voice came from. It was Damir.