Diary of a Dirty, Cheating w***e

He's Into You

"Come on. Spill - I want the juicy parts!"

We follow the waiter to the table and sit, ordering our drinks. I take my menu and thank the waiter. He's probably late twenties, black hair, blue eyes and fit.

Like miles out of my league, for sure.

"Oh. My. God. Kelsey! That waiter was so into you. He couldn't even talk. Didn't you hear him stuttering? He was blushing. I swear to God. He never looked away from you. You should get his number."

I can feel my face flaming - a little bit of pleasure and a whole lot of discomfort.

"Holy f**k, Sunday. I've only been divorced like five minutes."

"Six weeks."

"What?"

"Six weeks since the divorce and you haven't even looked for a date yet, have you?"

Not really. "I've been talking to guys online." I defended myself weakly, not sounding all that convincing even to myself.

"Bullshit."

"What?"

She points straight at my nose, close enough that my eyes cross briefly. "I call bullshit."

She taps the tip of my nose.

"You are f*****g gorgeous and could have a date like that." She snaps her fingers. "You just aren't trying."

"Ok. Fine. I really haven't tried. I never really dated anyone but Jerry. I don't know what guys want. I don't even know where to start."

The waiter was back with our drinks and rolls, ready to take our orders. I smile at him, remembering what Sunday said about him being into me. He smiles back and looks away, his face beet red. Interesting.

After taking our orders, the waiter leaves. Sunday continues to advise, though she's no more world-wise than I am. But who else can I ask?

"All guys want to f**k. Find a guy. f**k him, bite the bullet." Sunday advises, taking a bite out of her buttered roll.

I study my roll before answering. "I don't know how to do that."

She stops chewing to look at me. " You were married ten years or something and have two kids. I think you know how to fuck."

"Well, yeah. Obviously I know how to f**k. I just don't know how to find a guy to f**k me."

She looks like she isn't sure if she should laugh or cry. She reaches across to grab my hand.

"Jerry really f****d up your head, didn't he? Any guy who sees you wants to f**k you. Hell, guys will f**k anything. They would stand in line to put their d**k in someone like you."

Behind me, I hear a throat clear. The waiter. Damn. Pretty sure he heard Sunday's pep rally. I try to pretend I didn't realize he heard but it's obvious from his flaming red face that he either heard her, is strangling on his tongue, or is having a stroke.

He hands me the butter for my crab legs and walks away without making eye contact this time.

I feel the heat creeping into my face. No, definitely not going to ask for this guy's number. He seems a little innocent, like I wouldn't get past first base.

According to Sunday, I need a horny, experienced adult-assed man to rearrange my internal organs so I can get on with my life.

Maybe I'll save waiter boy for my dessert.

I eat in silence while Sunday chatters on about kids, hubby, and everything else going on in her life. We don't get much time with just the two of us so this is nice. I'm glad I came.

"Condoms." Sunday snaps her fingers.

"Eh...what?" I wonder if I missed something because I swear she was just talking about her boys' football schedule.

"Just thought about it. You've been raw dogging it for - well, really, forever since you've only really been with Jerry. Make them wrap their dirty d***s before they f**k you. Every. Single. Time. No exceptions."

I nod. "Got it."

"Buy a box and take them with you, no matter what. And don't let them make excuses."

"Ok. But are they different sizes? Do they sell like a variety pack?"

She laughs.

"Just get the regular ones. You can literally stretch it over a grown adult's head. If you find a d**k bigger than a human head - run for your f*****g life because you won't survive it."

I laugh and hug her. I love this girl. She's kinda crazy, but she's my kinda crazy.

^^^^^^^^^

I don't think I will ever get used to receiving unsolicited - or solicited - d**k pics.

I click my phone screen off and glance around. I don't think anyone saw that. Hopefully, the security cameras aren't that good, either.

I took Sunday's advice. I have my first official date after work. Meeting James no-last-name at the Ramada, getting my turkey stuffed, then moving on with my life.

He already sent me a d**k pic - I didn't ask for it but whatever. I sent him a reciprocal c**t pic, cleanly shaved.

Condoms are in my bag along with a change of clothes so I'm not showing up in my nursing scrubs. I'm fairly confident the condoms will fit. He might be a little larger than average but, thinking back to my conversation with Sunday, I'm one hundred percent sure his d**k is smaller than a human head.

I text him when I leave work to let him know I'm on my way.

Room 209. Door is unlocked. Come in, lock the door, undress, lay on the bed, face down, eyes closed. DO NOT OPEN YOUR EYES FOR ANY REASON. Wait for me. Do not talk unless I tell you to. Understand?

Yes.

Good girl.

Hmm. A little kinky. I think I might like it.

When I pull into the parking lot, I shoot a quick text to Sunday to let her know the room number. She already knows as much about James as I do but wants to know which door to kick in if I need her help. She'll probably be sitting outside room 209 when I leave tonight.

I'm ok with that.

I stop outside the door and take a breath, reading over the instructions again.

One last deep breath before I will my hands to stop shaking and push the door open.

The hotel room is a little run down but clean with one large king sized bed in the center of the room.

I want to do this. I need to do this.

I mentally slam the door on my fears, thoughts, and doubts.

I kick off my shoes and turn to set them along the wall so they won't accidentally get kicked under the bed. For the first time, I notice the video camera set up in the corner. It is recording.

The thought of someone watching us sends a strong jolt through my body. My n*****s harden and I feel the wetness between my legs.

I am genuinely excited to think he might show this video to his buddies. Maybe they will jerk off while they watch.

I crawl onto the soft bed, lie on my stomach, close my eyes and wait.

Moments later, the bathroom door makes a shushing sound as it opens. I squeeze my eyes shut as instructed. I'm so afraid I'm gonna c*m before he even touches me.

I wasn't sure before but right now, I know I need this more than I need my next breath. My body is vibrating in

"That's my good girl, " he mutters as he approaches the bed.

No, Sir. I whisper in my head. Not a good girl. Tonight, I'm your dirty little slut.