Two Halves of a Whole

Chapter 8

Sattira felt bad once she realized that the voice she had been hearing in her head was actually her wolf half.

You should feel bad, the voice said. She suddenly got an image of her wolf curling up with its back to her.

I am sorry, I really didn’t know. She tried to appease her wolf. It really did bother her because she felt that had she listened sooner she might have understood what was happening at least a little better than she had. She got an image of her wolf lifting its head and glancing back over its back to give her a look that seemed to say, “ya think.”

They had all finished eating dinner and Sattira was worried about all the leftover food. She was afraid with how much was still there it would go to waste before they could eat it all and she said as much.

“Don’t worry. Some of the members of the staff will have it divided up so it can be sent to some of the older pack members who have a harder time cooking for themselves. We wolves might take forever to get old but all creatures eventually age,” Lugos told her.

“That is why the ranked wolves and warriors eat so well,” Jacob joked, “we have to make sure there are enough leftovers to feed the old wolves.”

“So you all eat like this for every meal?” Sattira was amazed. The pack must have a lot of money if they could afford to feed their warriors like this.

“Pretty much,”Danny answered. “We need to take Sattira on a group run,” he suggested, completely changing the subject.

“Yeah, we haven’t seen your wolf form yet,” Kim added excitedly.

“I am not sure I can handle that kind of pain again,” she answered them as she tried to keep her panic from seeping into her voice.

“It only hurts like that the first time your body shifts to wolf form,” Nina tried to reassure her.

“Then why does it hurt so bad the first time?” She was still hesitant as the pain was so fresh in her memory.

“Because it is the first time your wolf is taking form, almost like being born. Then once your body recognizes your wolf form it no longer hurts. Just like it didn’t hurt to switch back, because your body knew what it was supposed to do to take that form.” Lugos’ words were a bit more reassuring.

She suddenly remembered the memory her wolf had shared with her where she was running through the woods in wolf form. She remembered how free she had felt.

“Ok, I will give it a try,” she said as her friends dragged her out to the edge of the woods.

Sattira blushed as everyone started taking off their clothes and turned her back to them.

“Sorry,” Lugos apologized for the group. “I forgot how growing up with humans might make you self conscious. Werewolves grow up seeing everyone shift and ruining clothes gets expensive.”

“No, it’s fine. I probably should try to get use to it,” she said as she slowly started to undress without turning back around.

Lugos couldn’t help but take a moment to admire her naked backside but tried to hide his interest from the rest of the group by letting the clothes he had taken off hang from his hand in front of him conveniently at the right spot to hide his ever growing manhood.

“Now how do I change to my wolf form,” she asked as she stood naked with her back to everyone.

Lugos didn’t have the heart to tell her that at least three security cameras were pointing right at her, catching every detail of her naked body. He had already told the team to turn off the screens and set aside the recordings for him to go over later. He didn’t want to give his mate more reason to be upset and embarrassed later.

“It’s almost like when you visualized your human form to transform except this time you want to try to visualize your wolf form. Remember what it felt like having paws and the feel of the fur covering your body,” he explained. “The more realistic you imagine it the faster and easier it is to transform.”

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine her limbs ending in paws. It was harder than imagining the human form she had grown up with. At first nothing happened and she felt frustrated.

Let me help you, the voice she now knew was her wolf offered. Her thoughts were suddenly flooded with images of her beautiful wolf form. She felt the memory of the wind in her fur. It was as if there was a slight shift in the world around her. She opened her eyes and to her surprise she was in her wolf form.

Thank you so much, she told her wolf. She was grateful her wolf was talking to her as she was afraid she would never be forgiven for being mean before realizing the voice was a real part of her with feelings.

We wouldn’t want our mate to think we were incompetent now, would we? She could hear the teasing tone her wolf used.

She turned to look at her friends, who were waiting to see her wolf before shifting themselves. She made sure to keep her gaze on their faces. She knew that their nudity didn’t bother them but she felt like her face must surely be bright red. Sattira was glad her fur hid how embarrassed she was.

“Wow, your wolf is so beautiful,” Nina said, her voice full of awe.

Sattira noticed the shocked looks that her friends had tried to hide when she turned around and even though Nina had sounded sincere in her admiration Sattira couldn’t help but wonder what they were not telling her about her wolf.

“She must be from alpha blood. Her wolf is huge,” Danny said.

“She is magnificent,” Lugos said. “I am sure she would enjoy a chance to stretch her legs. Most wolves don’t have to wait this long for their first run.” No sooner had he said the last word than his human form disappeared and in its place was the wolf from the memory her wolf shared with her before her first shift.

His beautiful fur catching the sunlight as it seemed to change from light brown to gold in color as his muscles rippled while he shook his massive body. So captivated was she that Sattira missed when her friends shifted to their wolf forms. When she finally turned back to look four wolves that were a bit smaller than her stood where her friends had been and she understood part of why her friends had been shocked by her wolf.

She realized that they all seemed to have fur close to the color of their hair and their eye colors didn’t change when they shifter. She was relieved that she was able to easily tell who each of them were in their wolf form.

She felt the presence of her wolf half seem to push forward in her mind and before she realized what was happening she was running full speed towards the beach. She tried to find the other wolves as she reached the sand and turned to run along the shore. The sand slowed her pace slightly and she saw Lugos taking advantage as he ran at an angle as if he was going to intercept her only to turn just before he hit the sand so that he was running beside her without having to deal with the sand that had slowed her own pace.

Her wolf suddenly turned to run into the waves only to have Lugos rush forward and splash into the gentle waves from the breeze blowing along the surface of the water right along side her. By the time the four smaller wolves caught up to them, Lugos and Sattira had make a game of running in and out of the water as they tried to splash each other.

The wolf that was almost a cream color with bright blue eyes that she was fairly positive was Nina yapped at them excitedly then turned and took a couple of steps towards the woods before turning back around and pouncing up and down excitedly as she continued to yap as she again turned towards the woods. Sattira could only imagine she was trying to get them to join her in the woods. Lugos had stopped his splashing and was watching her with his head tiled at an angle as if to ask what she wanted to do.

Sattira looked Lugos in the eye then turned and took off after Nina at a slower pace this time. They were enjoying their run through the untouched woods as they jumped over rocks and a few trees that had been uprooted in a game of follow the leader with the girls in front while the guys followed close behind. Then they wove in and out of the trees as they happily chased each other around in a revised game of tag until they all eventually ended up back where they had first shifted just as the sun was starting to set.

Her wolf had been in control for the whole time and though Sattira was not used to feeling like a passenger in her own body she felt it was only fair to let her wolf be in control for a change. She could only imagine what it must be like for her other half as she was positive her wolf was the passenger for the whole time that she had been in control of her human form. This only added to her feelings of guilt over how she had treated her wolf. She silently vowed to try to be more understanding and to try to give her more opportunities to be in this form so her wolf could enjoy being let out.

It’s ok, I forgive you. Her wolf sounded relaxed for the first time since she had started talking with Sattira and it only reinforced her decision to let her wolf out more.

The others each shifted and dressed until Lugos and Sattira were the last two left in wolf form when her wolf surprised the others by rubbing the whole of herself along the side of Lugos’ wolf.

We need to leave our scent so other she wolves know he is ours, she said in a rather cheeky voice.

Lugos’ wolf let out a sigh of pleasure before he suddenly shifted back before anything more telling could happen between the two wolves. Sattira was slightly embarrassed and shifted quickly so she could apologize as she hurriedly put her clothes on. She knew her friends had all seen by the uneasy looks on their faces. All she wanted was to run back to the room she had started to think of as hers but she only managed to turn away from them before she was stopped by a hand resting on her shoulder.

She knew by the delicious explosion of sparks that it was Lugos that stopped. She didn’t understand why he seemed to want to hide that they were mates, unless he was hiding something from her. She secretly wondered if their was someone else he was in love with and he was afraid to tell her. She knew she had not known him very long but the thought that he might not want her seemed to pierce her very soul. She could hear her wolf whimpering as the thoughts raced through her mind.

“It’s ok, this is all new to you,” he said in an understanding tone that she found ironic as he didn’t really understand what was really bothering her at all.

“Let me walk you to your room and we can talk,” he offered after a few awkward minutes of silence. His offer seemed to signal to the others that they should disperse as her friends quickly headed towards the house, abandoning her as she was left to face Lugos alone. She was disappointed that she had not gotten to talk with her friends alone and part of her wondered if Lugos wasn’t intentionally keeping her from it.

As he walked her to her room he was silent, giving her mind a chance to fill with even more doubts and insecurities. Her parents had always told her that if a relationship had to be kept a secret then it was a lied and the relationship was never real to begin with. Werewolves might have different beliefs and rules than what she grew up with, being raised as a human and all, but her parents beliefs about relationships still felt right to her. She couldn’t understand what he was hiding from her.

By the time they reached her room she was so hurt and upset she thought she might burst from holding it all in.