The Abyss

Chapter 2

“I’ve gotten maybe 3 matches Mar,” I showed her the app. It’s been a month since I downloaded it and still hadn’t been on any dates, much to her dismay. The three of us are sitting in our favorite coffee shop; Jonah looks a bit awkward to be there listening to this but being the good friend he is, shows his support by giving my arm a squeeze. What I didn’t tell her was that I’d been so busy with work and school, I hadn’t really had time to go on and swipe on profiles. I had better things to do with my time.

“These things take time, Cass, be patient. I didn’t say you had to go on all five dates right now. Just talk to them first, at least give the matches you do have a chance,” Maria says as she hands me my phone back. I purse my lips and shake my head. She’s right, I’m not exactly giving any of them a chance. I bite my lip and send a message to all three of them. Maria claps giddily before launching into a conversation about her latest hair clients. I glance over at Jonah to see him biting his lip, deep in thought. I bump my knee against his, causing him to look up. I shoot a questioning look at him and he just shrugs, turning back into the conversation. Just then, Maria stands up, excusing herself saying she needs to get to work. Jonah takes a deep breath, looking like he’s about to say something important.

“Cass, I have a confession to make-” my phone rings and it’s Liam.

“I’m so sorry, I have to take this,” I answered, “Hey man what’s up?”

“Get your ass to the hospital unless you don’t want to meet your nephew,” Liam’s frenzy of various emotions is apparent through the phone. I stand up, keys already in hand as I grab Jonah’s arm.

“They’ve just had the baby, let’s go,” I practically dragged him out to my car before peeling out of the parking lot. When we arrive at the hospital, Mitch is downstairs waiting for us, wearing a smile that looks as if it’s about to split his face in half. We head upstairs to the hospital room and are immediately shushed upon entering. I tip toe over to the bed where Liam’s wife, Jane, is holding a bundle to her chest. She looks up at me, looking tired and very sweaty.

“This is Chase,” she hands the little bundle to me gently. Tears are now rushing down my cheeks as I look down into the face of the most beautiful baby boy I’ve ever seen. His big blue eyes are wide open and looking up at me, his little button nose crinkled up. He feels so fragile and helpless, causing a rush of more tears to now flood my eyes.

“He’s so little,” I whisper, not able to take my eyes off of her, “and so beautiful. Congratulations you guys,” a laugh escapes as I sniffle. Jonah and Mitch crowd around me, staring down at Chase. I hand him over to Jonah and watch as he sways from side to side, unable to take his eyes off of him. My phone buzzes in my pocket and when I open it, there’s a new message from the app. It’s a reply from a guy named Matthew. I put my phone away, making a mental note to reply later.

Eventually Jonah and I leave the room to let the new parents get some rest and spend time with the newest addition to the family. As we walk back to the car, Jonah snickers.

“You look like you’re floating,” I stick my tongue out at him.

“I just became an aunt to the cutest and sweetest baby boy on the planet. Excuse me for ‘floating’ a bit,” I give him a shove with my shoulder. He puts his hands up in surrender.

“Alright, alright, you’ve made your point,” he pauses, “Can you give me a ride back to my car? You kinda made me ditch it at the coffee shop,” I look at him, letting out a timid chuckle.

“Yeah of course, sorry, I got so caught up and excited-” he puts his hand on my arm, stopping in front of the car.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m glad you dragged me along,” I gaze into his eyes. God I could get lost in them. I snap out of it, remembering the message from Matthew. I pull out my phone and send off a nonchalant message asking him what’s up. Jonah looks at me inquiringly.

“I got a message on the app finally,” we get in and I pull out of the parking lot onto the road.

“What’s his name?”

“Matthew, and we just started talking so I guess we’ll see where it goes,” Jonah nods absentmindedly and looks out his window. It’s silent for the rest of the drive and when we get to his car, he hesitates, looking back at me.

“Just promise me you’ll be careful,” I give him my word and a hug before he shuts the door.

When I get home, I open my phone and continue my conversation with Matthew. As we talk, I ask him questions about himself. He’s twenty one, has a sister, works as a bartender, and is taking psychology courses. As the conversation continues, he asks for my number. I declined, saying we just started talking and I wasn’t comfortable doing so just yet. He’s understanding and we continue messaging until I start feeling tired. I say goodnight and turn my phone off. Looking up at my ceiling, I recall earlier in the day when Jonah said he had a confession to make. Curiosity getting the better of me, I grab my phone and call him. When he picks up, I immediately get to the point.

“You said you had a confession to make. What’s going on?” this startles him and he stutters out his answer.

“Well, um, you know, it’s not important,”

“Jonah come on, we’ve been best friends ever since I can remember. You know you can tell me anything,” I hear him sigh.

“I know, it’s honestly nothing Cass,” I grumble, taking a puff and trying to press him for more but he doesn’t budge. I relinquish my line of questioning to which he sounds grateful for and we hang up. What could he have possibly wanted to say to me? Looking over at my clock, I realize how late it’s getting. I have class in the morning and work afterwards. If I had any hope of doing either, I needed to get some sleep. Luckily I had been breezing through all my classes so far and the only reason I was actually taking them was because I wanted to get my journeyman ticket. My parents owning a mechanics shop meant that I had literally grown up in and around cars. I knew what I was doing inside and out, impressing my teachers and classmates with knowledge a lot of them didn’t have. It also helped that I worked alongside my dad and brothers who were constantly showing me new and improved ways of fixing the cars. As I got lost in the memories I shared with my family, I felt myself succumbing to sleep.

I find myself walking through the halls of my high school, every single door is closed and all the lights are off. My shoes squeak against the freshly polished floor as I wander around. When I get to the gym, I notice light coming from the door which is slightly ajar. Gingerly pushing it open and I poke my head in, instantly feeling a hand grasp my hair and pull me down. Struggling and flailing as I’m dragged along the ground before being thrown into a wall. My head hits it first with an audible crack. I cough and splutter, groaning as pain shoots through the rest of my body before I’m forced to look up. He’s towering over me, donning a perverse grin.

“You owe me Cassidy. After everything I’ve done for you, you owe me this,” he picks me up by my throat and slams me into the ground, still standing over me.

“Please, no, don’t do this,” I manage to choke out, clawing at his hands. He laughs bitterly at my plea, kneeling down and slowly lifting my shirt up.

“Oh I’m going to enjoy every second of this,” I struggled harder, his hand squeezing the life out of me.

I jolt upright in bed, coughing and sputtering, gasping for air. I’m drenched in sweat, my heart beating fast and hard. Running my hands through my hair, I try to calm myself down but it’s not working. My nose starts to tingle, the first sign of a panic attack coming on. As the room starts to spin I search for my phone, finding it tucked under my pillow. My hands are shaking so bad I can barely type out a short message to Mitch before I drop my phone onto the bed. I sob and hold my knees to my chest, rocking back and forth until I hear my phone ring. I answer it, balancing it on my knees.

“Take a really deep breath in,” Mitch’s voice is calm and even. I do as he says, inhaling through my nose before blowing it out through my mouth. After repeating this a few times, the tingling goes away and my heart slows down. I take a puff of my vape.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s late,”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, I was already up,” I lean back against my headboard, “You okay now?” I can hear the concern in his voice.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just got scared is all,”

“Alright, if you need anything else, I’m a text away,” I hang up, throwing my phone back down on the bed. There was no way I was going to be able to fall back asleep, throwing the covers off, I left the comfort of my bed and headed to the bathroom to get cleaned up. Turning on the shower, I grabbed a towel, putting it on the hook before undressing. As I stood under the torrent of hot water, I let it run over my face, feeling the heat forcing my body to relax. Eventually I turn the shower off, drying myself before getting ready for the long day ahead.

As the days turn into weeks, Matthew and I continue talking and eventually I give him my number so we can start talking on the phone. When I heard his voice for the first time, it shocked me to learn he had a slight English accent.

“So how was class today?” he asks one night. It’s a Monday and I was laying in bed when he called me; even though it was getting kind of late, I had answered it anyway.

“It was alright, I just wish the guys in my class would take me seriously,” I sigh, taking a puff.

“Are they still making jokes about how you should make them a sandwich and whatnot?”

“Yeah but that’s to be expected. I am going into a trade after all, you know how it goes,”

“I guess so but that doesn’t make it right,” leaning my head back against the headboard, I knew he was right. I mostly ignored the comments but sometimes they got to me.

“I know, but anyways, how’s work going for you today?” I ask, changing the subject.

“The usual, busy as always, got a couple MILF’s in here trying to get free drinks. It’s f*****g comical really,” he chuckles. I smile and shake my head. Typical, “You know, we’ve been talking for a while. I was wondering if you’d maybe want to go for coffee sometime?” I bite my cheek, hesitating. I did enjoy talking to him and if I declined Maria would have my head.

“I’d like that, when would you want to go?” I inwardly cringe at my response. I didn’t want to sound desperate.

“How about Saturday? I don’t work Friday night thank god so I won’t be completely exhausted,” I agree and we decide on the time and place before hanging up for the night.

“Oh my f*****g god Cass! You have a date!” Maria gushes as soon as she walks in the door. It’s Saturday morning and she insisted on helping me get ready. She had woken me up by banging on my door until I let her in and now she was leading me to my bedroom closet.

“It’s just coffee Mar, it’s not a huge deal,” I grumble, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as I follow her. She’s already pulled a few outfits out and laid them on the bed, “Oh my God I can’t wear a little black dress! It’s November,” I hang the dress in question back up. She shrugs and turns her attention back to the others.

“Alright. How about this cute midnight blue, knitted sweater, a pair of these black, acid wash jeans and the gray ankle boots I got you for your birthday, the ones with a little heel?” I sigh and look it over. It was a good outfit, one that actually made me look attractive.

“Alright, I’ll go get changed,” I shower and get dressed, looking myself over in the mirror. Maria helps me do my hair, insisting she needs the practice if she ever wants to do this professionally. As she works her magic, she continues pestering me with questions.

“So, what’s he like? Has he sent you nudes yet? Have you let him into your naughty little spot yet?”

“f**k Mar! I haven’t even thought about doing it since you know who,” her face falls as she realizes her mistake.

“You’re right, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” I take a puff and look at her in the mirror. I haven’t had s*x since what my ex did and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to gain my control back over that area of my life yet.

“No, it’s okay. I know that’s a huge part of your life and I don’t judge you for that. I think it’s great,”

“I just want you to experience how amazing it can be and feel. It’s liberating if you do it in a way that’s right for you,” I smile sadly at her to which she changes the subject. We talk about our classes, work, how her love life has been going until she puts everything down and smiles broadly.

“There you go, all done,” My auburn hair is lightly curled, just barely able to touch the tops of my shoulders. It frames my face in a way that makes my facial features stand out, especially my eyes. I smile and let out a small laugh.

“He’s not going to know what hit him,” I say, feeling a surge of confidence running through me. My phone chimes and it’s Matthew confirming that I am in fact meeting him. When I look at the time I realize I’m going to be late if I don’t get going. I grab everything I need, thank Mar one more time and head to the coffee shop for my date.

“Cassidy?” I hear someone call out as I lock my car. When I turn around, Matthew is standing a few feet away, looking quite handsome. He definitely looked like his pictures, tall, blonde, hazel eyes. His rounded glasses suited him and seemed to define his features. I smile politely and walk over to him, feeling quite confident in myself.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” He’s not that much taller than me so I don’t have to strain my neck to look up at him. The shocked expression on his face is priceless though and I can’t help but let out a giggle.

“You are more beautiful in person, if you don’t mind me saying,” his voice is shaking now as he stumbles over his words.

“Thank you, you look very handsome as well,” I say shyly. He offers me his arm and as I take it, he guides me into the coffee shop we chose. Once we order and sit down, the conversation comes flawlessly and I find myself at ease with him. This wasn’t nearly as nerve racking as I had thought it was going to be. At some point during the conversation, a realization dawns on me; I see this man as more of a friend than a potential partner but before I can say anything, he beats me to it.

“Cass, I know we’ve just met but I have to say, I love where this is going and I’d really like to see you again,” his eyes look hopeful as he fidgets with his hands. I bite my bottom lip and lean forward.

“I’d like to see you again too, but, I think we would work a bit better as friends,” I look up at him apologetically. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear and he almost looked embarrassed.

“I drove all the way here and paid for your coffee so that we could just be friends,” confused, I sat back in my seat.

“If it’s about the three dollars, I can pay you back, I have the cash right here-” before I can say another word, his chair screeches back and he storms out. I sit there not knowing what to do or say as I feel the stares of other customers and staff boring into me. Getting up silently, I collect myself and my things and walk out to my car. Well that was a bust. I sit in the driver's seat and shake my head, wondering what I could’ve possibly done wrong. I take a few puffs from the vape as I text Maria and tell her what happened. She offers to bring me dinner later to take my mind off of it but I decline, telling her I had homework to do. Just then, a notification pops up on my phone. It’s a new match. Not wanting to bother at that very moment, I toss my phone into the cupholder as another notification lights up my lock screen. It’s a message from my new match. I sigh as Maria’s words about getting back on the horse ring through my mind. I open the message up and all it says is a simple ‘Hey, how’s your day so far’. I look at the profile and there’s a photo of a very handsome, shirtless man covered in tattoos. His olive toned skin makes his dark brown eyes appear intense, his tattoos appear to be moving on top of lean, defined muscles. I look at the name and can’t help but whisper it out loud to myself. Dominic.