Born To Shine

Born To Shine (15)

Chapter 15

I stayed silent through the funeral. It was small only close friends came including Tony, Mark, Johnny and Trisha. I looked at Elise's face for the last time before they covered the coffin.

Marco grabbed my hand and gently squeezed it. I had missed my parents and brother's funeral because of my coma.

Elise was going to be next to dad. We figured she would like that.

Without noticing I grabbed the star-shaped necklace which was around my neck. I was wearing it for the first time. Elise was wearing her's now. It was going to be passed to me but I thought she would like it.

As they lowered the body and buried it. I turned away not wanting to watch. Trisha gave me a sympathetic look. I noticed that she and Johnny had become closer since I told them about Elise's death.

I was happy for them. Mark, Tony and Johnny had passed on the news to everyone about the death. Shane wasn't there at the time and didn't want to know about what had happened so he was left in the dark.

I didn't care if he knew or not.

Tears went down my face as I saw that there was no going back.

As in I wasn't going to be the same again. I had chances of healing after my parents and brother died but not Elise that is too much.

Memories of my life filled my mind as I reminisced. I was a happier person always smiling. I was more comfortable with people but still a little shy. I used to complain to my parents when I was unhappy. They would always make me feel better.

After my parent's death, the only people talked to were Elise and Marco. All I have now is Marco. And I had other friends.

But I still didn't feel right. It was like I needed something else in my life. I couldn't figure out what it was though.

I brushed a few strands of my hair out of the way and turned back. People were talking among themselves. They noticed me looking around and gave me sympathetic looks.

They knew who I was but since I had met them before. Marco had asked if they could keep the death to themselves so nothing got into the media.

The media was just the relationship I and Shane were rumoured to have. But it had kind of died down and other stories had gotten the attention of everything. To which I was grateful to.

I couldn't deal with that right now.

*

As the final part of the funeral took place I distanced myself from others. I stood alone in my black attire leaning against the hard bark of a tree.

Sighing softly I felt my knees weaken making myself fall to the grass. I brought my knees to my chin and looked before me.

People were in groups of two or three talking, mourning, weeping amongst themselves. They had one another for support, a light in this dark time in life. Whereas I had nothing to do no one to go to. I didn't want to interrupt my brother and Kaitlyn or Trisha and the guys. It just didn't feel as if it was my place.

It was times like these I wonder what it would be like to be in love but shrug it off knowing it's all a fairy tale.

But a person could dream, think, ponder... hoping that happiness would be a companion to which you would always have.

Or to even feel love. Yeah, I think I'll like that.

"Lizzie?" A familiar voice questioned. Breaking from my reverie I looked up and saw Sam looking down at me. She had soft green eyes and shady brown hair, her features showed portrayed sympathy.

"Yes?" I whispered softly not in the mood to engage in a proper conversation.

"I'm sorry about your loss, our loss. But I'm not talking to you to tell you that. Elise told me she wanted you to be happy, she worried about you. Happiness will come its way after all great things shall happen to people who wait." She said. I nodded unsure to how to answer.

She nodded back and went back to the scattered crowd. I felt her final words remain potent in my mind. After all, great things shall happen to people who wait.

*

Kneeling in front of now 4 graves I stayed silent. It had been an hour after the funeral and I didn't know who stayed. Trisha and the guys had to leave because of the recording, Maria had let me off the hook and let me what I please for a week to get back to normal. It had been 3 days, I had 4 left.

I don't think I'll be normal in a few days I guess I'll have to put the stilettos back on.

After a few more moments of the comfortable silence, I was prepared to say something. But the words were snatched out of my mouth when I got tapped on the shoulder. I turned my head and saw it was Marco alongside Kaitlyn.

"We're about to leave are you going to stay?" He asked. I nodded not wanting to speak.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later. Give me a call okay?" He said.

"Sure thing," I whispered, my voice barely came out. He squeezed my shoulder gently and let go.

He gave me a small smile and Kaitlyn gave a sympathetic look. They then waved goodbye leaving me alone in the graveyard. Sighing softly I then spoke.

"Why?" I started letting the words flow out of my mouth.

"I miss you guys so much I need you guys I need someone... anyone... I'm happy for Marco he has Kaitlyn they really love each other you would've loved her too. I wish... I wish that I had someone like that I don't want to be alone but that way people can't leave me right?

"That's why I'm scared. If I let anyone in they would leave me somehow I don't want that... I don't want to be selfish but it would help. I have this place in my heart, in my life that needs to be filled. I feel so empty.

"People don't know this though. I'm glad about that. I don't want sympathy, it isn't going to make anything better everything would remain the same." I said. Tears were cascading down my face, I hastily wiped them stuff my sleeve and pulled myself together.

Tears weren't going to fix anything either.

Staring at the silent graves before me until my vision blurred I then slowly reached up to stroke the letters on Elise's gravestone.

"Did you have to go Elise? I need you, you're my sister and I love you so much. I don't know how I could cope without you. You always made sure if I was alright. You made me smile and happy. I enjoyed every moment I spent with you. And I hope you are happy wherever you are now." I finished. I wasn't sure I could say any more I barely choked that out.

Wiping away the moisture from my eyes I got up and dusted off the dirt from my jeans. I then gave one last glance the graves and then departed.

I walked to my car and got in and in silence, I rode to the boarding house. The journey was short so I got there quickly. I pulled up and entered.

Taking the familiar route to the studio remembering I had left my guitar in there I looked to see if there was anyone around. No one was around so I figure they must be in the studio. I opened the door which unveiled everyone.

Well everyone but Shane. They stopped what they were doing and turned to look at me. I knew my face wasn't exactly pleasant but they didn't seem to be bothered about that they all gave sympathetic glances. I nodded in greeting to everyone and grabbed my guitar by the neck I left and headed for my room.

*

I sang whilst strumming my guitar. My voice in sync with the notes. I wanted to be far away from this world so I decided to sing.

Music the only thing I could rely on.

I was singing the song for Elise. It was her favourite and it seemed perfect to just sing it as if you had no worries. Originally, it's a love song but I didn't care about the message that flowed with it.

I felt tears prick in my eyes. If only I could feel love. That would be amazing. Singing the rest of the song I expressed a favourite part which reflected my feelings.

Sighing softly as I finished the song remembering to call Marco.

~Trisha's POV~

After a day's work in the studio and going to Elise's funeral I decided that it would be alright to rest.

I wanted to check on Lizzie first. I was really worried about her she is so quiet and vulnerable, she doesn't endlessly cry like she is supposed to.

I just hope she finds her source of happiness one day soon she has been through far too much I wouldn't be able to survive like her.

I guess she's strong like that. But the problem is that she keeps her feelings to herself there is only so much a person could keep bottled up.

I walked up to her room and was about to knock on the door when I heard her speak.

"I'm alright Marco. Honest." She said. I could hear that she wasn't alright. Not even the slightest.

She needed someone to be with. Deciding that I wasn't needed I was about to walk away when Shane's door opened. He stepped out and scowled when he saw me.

"What are you doing here?" He asked harshly.

What's this guy's problem?

"What is it to you? You don't care anyway I don't want to be a nuisance." I snapped at him.

"You are outside my room that's what it is to me." He growled. I rolled my eyes at him.

"And Lizzie's too you know. Did you forget? You better cut her some slack she's going through a rough time." I said. He then rolled his eyes at me.

"Whatever I don't care anyway." He said and then walked past me.

"You just have a problem with her, don't you? She didn't do anything to you. You are just a hater! And you know what hater stands for? H.A.T.E.R.S. Having anger towards everyone reaching success!" I said. The stopped walking down the corridor and turned his head.

"I never said I hated her." He said and walked off.

He doesn't hate her? Then he must just dislike her then...