Born To Shine

Born To Shine (18)

Chapter 18

I felt nothing but pain from the past couple of days. Not physical pain, emotional. I still haven't healed from when Elise had died. I mean like who would've? It's only been just over a week. I haven't met Marco since either, only talked to him on the phone. I felt bad and promised myself that I would go home in a few days time to see him and Kaitlyn, she had moved in with him. At least he had some kind of company.

It's not like I don't it's just that I don't want to bother anyone else. They could do what they would like to do without being interrupted by someone like me.

The pain within me surged some more at the thought of being alone. How much could a person take? I wish I had some sort of company.

Sighing I stood up and ran my fingers through my messy hair.

The recording hadn't been too good either. Shane always, at any possible moment threw an insult my way. Like my music is terrible, I can't sing, I'm lousy, I'm ugly etc. I don't know why he did it and I don't know why it made me feel worse every time. That's why I am lounging in my room. Usually, Trisha would stay with me but I wanted to stay alone and so she could be with Johnny. I still had to talk to him, about Trisha.

Deciding that I was being pathetic, just moping around. I grabbed my guitar and headed downstairs. A few people were in the lounge talking whilst some talk show was on, no-one was paying attention to it though. I decided to sit next to Johnny, who was talking animatedly to Trisha. I smiled half-heartedly at the sight of them. I was so happy for them.

"Hey Lizzie, I was just about to go upstairs to see what you were up to. But it's good now that you are here." Trisha said. I noticed her eyes were glittering and she was finding it hard not to look at Johnny.

My heart sunk. Yes, I was happy for her but I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. I dismissed the feeling before it became noticed.

"Yes, Lizzie. Why were you all alone anyways? You know you always have us." Johnny said. I noticed the sparkle in his eyes as well.

"I'm not always alone plus I wouldn't want to intrude on you two," I said. They both became uncomfortable. I felt a smirk pulling on my lips.

"Intrude on us? What do you mean...? We don't have anything to hide... And..." Johnny mumbled. They both blushed slightly.

"Lizzie, it doesn't matter you could intrude whenever you want okay?" Trisha said trying to get rid of the awkwardness.

"It's alright. I know you two wouldn't want me to be a third wheel or whatever. I'm happy for you guys." I said and then winked. Their cheeks reddened again and then I got up from my seat.

"Where are you going?" Johnny inquired.

"To get a drink. I'm thirsty. Have fun." I said. They mumbled bye to me and then I left the room and headed to the kitchen, guitar in hand. I entered the room and saw Shane and Matt in there. When I was in sight of Shane. He groaned, louder then a person should groan. They also stopped the conversation they were having. I desperately tried to ignore the thickening tension as I got a bottle of water in the fridge.

"Hey, Lizzie," Matt said. I was surprised that he had greeted me so I decided to return the favour. I turned around to face them. Before I looked at Matt, Shane's and I's eyes locked for a split second. His eyes were dark with anger he possessed.

"Hi Matt, Shane," I said, deciding that it was polite to greet Shane too. He just ignored me.

"How are you then?" Matt asked. Apart from Trisha and the guys Matt was the only who talked to me properly. I appreciated that but didn't understand why he was wasting his time.

"Fine, I guess... You?" I trailed.

"I'm great, it's a good day." He said and then smiled wholeheartedly at me. How could a person be so happy?

"I'm great too you know thank you for asking." Shane snarled. That took me off guard.

Okay so first he was ignoring me and he is annoyed that I didn't ask how he was? How does that add up?

I then felt stupid just standing there saying nothing.

"Sorry Shane I didn't mean to-" I started but then was cut off.

"Don't bother with your pathetic attempts. It's stupid if you ask me." he countered. He was beginning to get annoyed with me again. Sighing, I pursed my lips.

"What do you want me to say then, Shane?" I murmured. He was then taken aback by what I had said. He quickly masked his face and then spoke. He seemed quite hesitative.

"Oh just... " He trailed first unsure and then he hardened his look and glared at me. "f**k off." He then said exasperatedly. He then strutted out of the room making me feel like an ant that had just been squished. Matt looked at me sympathetically.

"He really is a-" he started but I cut him off.

"I know a nice guy when I get to know him. I guess I never would get the chance." I completed for him. I then left, guitar in hand abandoning my water bottle and Matt. I then once again made a break for my room. I closed the door and placed my guitar on the bed.

I had to do something to get rid of this pain. I pondered for a moment, the only thing I could think of was having a shower to get my mind off things. I got out an outfit out of my wardrobe and set to go to my ensuite. I entered and placed my clothes on the side. I gave a glance around the bathroom and something caught my eye.

A razor.

But I promised Elise I wouldn’t, and I wasn’t going to break any promises.

*~* Matt's POV *~*

I didn't get it. Why was he so cruel to her? She hadn't done any wrong. Yes, she has the headliner but that solely can't be it can it? I left the kitchen remembering how fragile she looked, yet so strong. I had learnt about her late sister. Everyone knew apart from Shane. He didn't want to know what was wrong with her.

Deciding that I once again was going to find him and find out what the hell was his problem. So far, he refused to speak but I am adamant to know what is wrong. There is only so much a person could take right?

I found him alone in the studio playing on his guitar. I faced him as he looked at his guitar. He and Lizzie seem to have that in common, to always carry or play their guitar.

"Shane," I said. He stopped playing for a second.

"What?" He snapped annoyed.

"Why did you tell her to f**k off?" I asked.

"Because that's what she needs to do." He answered as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"No, she doesn't. She hasn't done anything to you, Shane." I stated.

"I agree. What's your problem?" Trisha said and then she walked in with Lizzie's band- Sweet Seduction. Shane glared at Trisha wordlessly.

"Yeah man, what is your problem? Just leave her alone." Johnny said.

"What's my problem? What's hers? She isn't a child she can take care of herself, so you guys could just get lost." Shane fumed.

"Leave her alone, she's going through a bad time," Mark warned.

"Hard time my bloody arse. She's a fake, an attention seeker and the worst kind. Can't you see through her facade?" Shane snarled. For some reason, I felt he wasn't believing the words coming out of his mouth.

"No, she isn't you don't know her," Tony said.

"I know enough and so would everyone else they'll see who she really is." He vowed then left the studio.

I had a bad feeling. Shane could make Lizzie's life a living hell if he intended to do so. What he was doing now was nothing.

I remembered Lizzie's last words. 'I guess I would never get the chance.'

I knew she was hurting inside, and I also knew that something was bound to happen. I just wished she got the chance to see what Shane was really like. They would seem to go together well.

But now I felt I had to believe her words and agree.

I guess she wouldn't get the chance.