Born To Shine

Born To Shine (19)

Chapter 19

~Back to Lizzie’s POV~

"So you are going to move in?" I asked Kaitlyn. I had some free time so I decided that I would come home for an hour or so. She nodded.

"Yeah, I am. Marco asked me last week and I agreed. I don't like seeing him alone. You don't mind do you?" She replied and smiled slightly. I was happy for them. I was happy also that she was moving in. I didn't want Marco to stay alone at home.

"No, not at all. I think that's a good idea he needs to stay with somebody." I answered truthfully.

"What about you Lizzie?" She questioned suddenly. I looked at her confused. What was she talking about? What about me? There's nothing wrong is there?

"Huh?" Was my genius response. She gave me a small smile and walked over to me.

"Lizzie I know you feel lonely. I know you want someone to have as well. But you are scared aren't you?" She asked knowingly. I gulped inconspicuously and then masked my feelings.

How did she know?

Well, it wasn't obvious I wanted someone and it wasn't at the top thing on my priority list. I would like to have someone but the chances of that are close to impossible. Yeah, I famous and all but some people just want to know you for what you are other how famous you are. It's hard to find people to see you normally unless they are famous themselves. It was times like this I wonder what my life would be like if my family hadn't died or if I wasn't famous.

"What makes you think that?" I questioned.

"Well Lizzie it isn't crystal clear but you can tell that you are hurting, deeply." She replied sympathetically. Even though she didn't answer my question I knew it was pointless denying the fact that what she was saying was true.

"What do you want me to do then?" I asked helplessly. She came forward to embrace me and then spoke.

"Don't push everyone away. Even if they aren't appreciating you now, if they hate you still, don't push them away. Keep your friends close but bring your enemies closer." She whispered. I nodded slightly not sure if I was actually going to go along with it. She then moved back so we were no longer hugging but she still had her arms around me.

"Elise and Marco would want that too, Lizzie you have been unhappy for too long. You don't deserve it." She continued. I sighed, unsure of what to think. I only have Marco left, I didn't know what I would do if I didn't have him.

"Please just consider it Lizzie."

"I don't know Kaitlyn- Kate," I replied, amending myself at the end.

"Give it some thought then?" She suggested. I nodded in returned she gave me a smile. We then fell into silence. I was happy to have at least Kaitlyn now. I had Trisha too but I didn't like to intrude.

"Thank you, Lizzie." She said breaking the silence. I c****d my eyebrow at her in confusion. What is she thanking me for?

"What are you thanking me for?" I asked voicing my thoughts. She shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know. I just felt like I had to thank you for some reason."

"Oh. Your welcome I guess." I replied unsure on what else I could say.

"Okay on a brighter note. How's it in the boarding house? Finished with your song yet? I can't wait to hear it, I bet it is going to be amazing." She asked happily.

I frowned slightly but amended it to an expressionless expression. Work wasn't any better. It was only yesterday I was driven to break my promise to Elise.

"It's alright I guess," I replied glumly. Her smile faltered.

"Is there something you want to talk about?" She questioned concerned. I shook my head. I didn't want to make people worry for no reason. Plus the whole 'Shane hates my guts' thing has enough people involved with it. Trisha had told me last night that he was in a bad mood. She, Matt and my band Sweet Seduction stood him up yesterday.

He must be in an even worse mood.

"No... Everything's fine really." I said and shot one of my fake smiles to reassure her. I knew she could see through it but it was worth a shot trying.

"If you say so. But you have me to talk to if you have any problems if you don't want to talk to me then talk to Marco or Trisha or anyone. Just don't keep it all in okay?"

"Okay..." I mumbled. I glanced at the kitchen clock and saw that my time here was up, I didn't want another reason for Shane to hate me even more.

"I've got to go now Kate," I said apologetically.

"That's alright, you have things to do. Good luck with the rest of the song." She said cheerily.

"Bye Kate. I'm just going to find Marco and say bye to him." I said. She waved goodbye back and I ventured through the house looking for Marco. I saw him in the lounge looking at some papers.

"Marco, I'm going to leave now. I don't want to be late...." I trailed. He looked up from his papers and gave me a smile. He stood up from his spot and walked over to me, he then gave me a hug.

"Bye Liz. Stay safe okay? Any problems then tell me." He said.

“Will do,” I said and shot him the same smile I gave Kaitlyn. I gave him a quick hug before deciding that it was time to leave.

I quickly got in the car and drove away. Sighing softly I drove along the empty side roads thinking what it would be like to have a happy life.

There was something that stopped me from thinking about having a happy life. The fact that I just couldn't conjure one. Every thought that entered my mind ended up in some disaster. Some worse than the others.

I saw a mother with her young daughter walking down the street happily. I gave a little smile, they look so happy. I wish nothing happens to them which destroys that.

"Why...?" I breathed whilst turning onto another road swiftly. I didn't get it. Why did I have such bad karma? And what could I do for the wheel of fortune to spin?

I soon passed the cemetery where my family lay. They, wherever they may be wouldn't have any worries, would they? It was just this world that you had to suffer in right?

"Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So, for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason." I whispered for myself.

I remember Elise saying it to me a week before she died. It now seemed engraved to my memory.

The problem was that I couldn't laugh at the confusion, smile through my tears or even believe that one day everything to be perfect. All that seemed to make sense of itself was the fact that everything happens for a reason which is true.

I soon pulled out in front of the boarding house. I removed my keys from the ignition and exited the car, I got my guitar from out of the back and then I walked up to the porch. I opened the front door and then headed straight to the lounge expected everyone to be there. I stood in the threshold of the lounge and looked around. Everyone apart from Shane was in there. I sat down next to Trisha on the couch.

I looked at the tv, it seemed to have everyone's eyes glued to it. I noticed that it was a gossip show.

Why were they watching this?

My question was soon answered when I saw that Shane soon appeared on the screen. What was he doing? Deciding to carry on watching I gave the screen my full attention.

"Hello, Shane Ashby. I have got to say it is an honour to have you on the show. So how are you?" the presenter said warmly to him. He gave an easy smile which I could tell was fake and responded.

"All is well. How about you?" He said politely. I nearly couldn't believe that he was the same guy that told me to 'f**k off' yesterday.

"I'm alright. Now carrying on how is life in the boarding house? With the amazing Lizzie McGaugh and her band Sweet Seduction alongside the newly signed band called Blazing Lights." The presenter continued.

Was it me or did he become tenser when the presenter mentioned me? It must be just my imagination I assured myself.

"It's alright I guess. There's a load of people mainly guys but yeah it's fine." He said casually.

"I see that's good. How about the song? Have you completed it yet?"

"We are getting there. People are pulling their own weight, we have 2 weeks left so it should be done." He then ran his fingers through his dark hair and then stared at the camera for a moment, it felt like he was staring at me instead.

"That's good. Okay, so I know this isn't my place to ask but everyone has been asking about you and Lizzie. According to this picture you two seem quite close, is there something between you two or are you just merely friends?" the presenter said and then the picture of me and Shane 'embracing' came in the background. I internally groaned.

Why do I have a feeling I do not want to watch the rest of this?

Shane snorted.

"There is nothing going on between myself and her. The rumours are false." He clarified. I sighed in relief that he didn't say anything bad about me.

"Oh, so you two are just friends?" The presenter questioned. Shane shook his head.

"Not even close. I don't think any guy would want to be with her, she isn't all what people think she is."

I felt my whole world collapsing. I guess I thought too soon.

"Please elaborate." The presenter urged.

"If you insist. Lizzie McGaugh isn't all that. I don't have a relationship with her and don't wish to either. she most likely to cheat on whoever she may be with. A w***e, slut whatever. I don't like her and don't see why people would anyway. People fall for her quiet and sweet charm but that is nothing compared to what she really is. I don't get why people listen to her music. It's terrible she's lucky to be signed let alone be famous. She 's a waste of time, a nuisance." He said as it was the most obvious thing in the world, he even sounded as if he planned the speech.

Did he really think that of me?

"Is what you said true?" the taken aback presenter asked.

"Every word. She isn't talented, pretty, nice and I think people should just stop listening to her music altogether before they become deaf. This is the truth people, loud and clear Lizzie McGaugh is revealed. She doesn't need to hide who she really is." He stated. My heart skipped a beat and my mouth became dry. Tears started to well up in my eyes.

What DID I do? What? I wanted to scream to the world.

He made me feel like nothing and now he is spreading that to the world. People- especially his fans are going to listen to him and turn against me. I ran my fingers down my face to try to calm myself down but it was not working. I felt eyes on me. I looked up and saw the whole room's attention to me.

Great.

Trisha brought her arm to my back and started to rub circles on it.

"Lizzie..." She trailed. I shook my head and then stood up and ran out of the boarding house. Why couldn't there just be one place? One place that I didn't need to run from? I once again entered my car and drove off. I drove to the one place that I knew would be alright for me to stay.

I pulled up outside of the cemetery and then exited. I walked over to the four graves that were my families. I sat crossed legged in front and just stared at the graves. I don't know how long I stayed like that but it was a long time.

I just let my mind wander. Thinking about the times I used to laugh and smile all the time. All before my family and little brother died. Maybe if they didn't die Elise wouldn't have died either?

*

Sighing I thought it was just pathetic to sit here and think so decided to speak my thoughts. I had been here for over an hour anyway.

"I don't know why he- Shane did what he did. But most of all what I want to know is what I had done. I... I just need to know why he hates me so much, it's getting out of hand. I also wish that I could be stronger, people assume that I am strong because of my lack of socialization. But what could I do? I think I'm going to make myself go numb so I don't have to feel pain again." I said to my deceased family. I then heard footsteps which alarmed me slightly. I hope it isn't someone I know... I looked to my right first and then left.

There I saw standing was, not just anyone but Shane.