“I know how you feel about me,” Alex began. He grasped the back of a chair, squeezing, struggling to let up; in a moment, the hard wood would hurt his hand or he’d manage to break it. Neither option appealed. When Nick said nothing, Alex forced himself to look up. He also fought to relax his grip. In the end, he had to move away from the chair.
“I’m not good at this,” Alex continued. “You know that. I mean…” That hadn’t been a good thing to say. He’d sounded accusing. “I know what you want me to say. You want me to say I love you. You want me to say it first.”
“Are you?”
Alex stood silent.
“Are you?”
Alex shook his head. “Nick, even if I…did happen to feel that way, is that all it would take? Are you going to come out to the world if I tell you I love you?”
“I’m sure as hell not goin
