There's something uniquely demeaning about being studied like a lab specimen when you're five months pregnant and wearing nothing but a hospital gown that ties in the back, leaving your ass exposed to the clinical chill of fluorescent lighting. Add in the sci-fi villain collar around my neck—a sleek, silver monstrosity designed to "dampen abilities" (whatever the f**k that means)—and I was living the dystopian nightmare version of "What to Expect When You're Expecting." Subtitle: What to Expect When You're Expecting... Puppies. Apparently. "Fascinating," Victoria murmured, her manicured finger tapping against the ultrasound monitor where my twins—my supposedly human twins—were clearly visible as... well, not human-shaped at all. "You see this, Dr. Westlake? Distinct canine development at

