Rise Of The Warrior Luna

Chapter 3

FREYA

I manage to hold myself together without giving into my despair and successfully make it out of the office building.

With blurry eyes, I locate my car and crash into the driver’s seat, feeling broken from within, sad but no longer tearful.

Papa always said ‘crying solves nothing. If something upsets you enough to cry, it should also upset you enough to do something about it.’

But what do I do in a situation like this?

I retrieve the pregnancy test from my bag.

Two lines. Clear as day.

I should feel joy, hope. Instead, all I feel is the weight of how alone I am in this. There’s no one I can tell. No one who would understand what it means to finally have the one thing you’ve prayed for, only to realize it changes nothing.

“Five years,” I whisper to myself, my voice hollow. “I thought this would fix everything.”

But it won’t fix that Eli slept with Victoria. Won’t fix that he kept secrets from me for a month. Won’t fix that when he looks at me, he sees an obligation, not a choice.

My hand trembles as I tuck the test back into my purse. The secret feels impossibly heavy, like I’m carrying the weight of a future I’m not sure I even want anymore.

I heave a deep, exhausted sigh and drive towards our house but I don’t stop when I get there. I can’t bear to go inside, to see the bed he doesn’t sleep in, to walk through rooms that have never truly felt like a home.

I drive past, continuing to the edge of the pack, towards the house where I was raised as a girl, towards the only place where I don’t feel judgement or desire or responsibility, where I go to momentarily escape the demands of life.

I park outside the house, and the familiar sight of it brings a fresh wave of pain. I remember papa’s last words to me as he relocated out of the pack after my wedding to Eli.

“You chose yourself over your family. I wish you well my daughter but if my blood runs in your veins, know this: you will regret your decision.”

Maybe Papa was right after all.

I gave up everything for Eli. My family, my father’s approval, the legacy I was supposed to carry. And for what? To spend five years loving someone who was waiting for someone else to come back.

The pain doubles in my chest and I step out of the car slowly, every movement feeling like I’m dragging myself through water. I take the footpath opposite the house into the woods, my feet heavy. Papa has an old hunting cabin inside the woods and behind it is a dry cliff with a natural flower garden below.

That place is my sanctuary. Standing over and watching the beautiful expanse of wild flowers just seems to free me of whatever weight I carry.

Maybe because deep down, I desire the same freedom they have to grow and express their true self.

I was never meant to be Luna but somehow I became one in the name of duty and bond to my mate. A mate who doesn’t want me.

I was never meant to be Papa’s guinea pig either but that was what I was for most of my life, made in the image of my late older brother in order to continue our family legacy.

A legacy that I betrayed for a mate who has now betrayed me.

The irony sits bitter on my tongue. I’ve spent my whole life being what other people needed me to be, and I’m still not enough.

I sit by the cliff, my legs dangling over, staring at the flowers below without really seeing them. For a while, I let myself imagine what it would be like to simply not exist— not to die, just to not be here, to not carry this pain, to not have to face what comes next.

I suddenly hear footsteps behind me but I don’t turn.

I can recognize those footsteps even in my sleep and he’s the only other person who knows this as my secret spot.

Actually it was his secret spot, he brought me here once and since then, I kind of stole it from him.

“Go away,” I say, my voice is hoarse and so tired I barely recognize it as my own.

“Okay,” he replies but when I turn, he’s taking a seat beside me, a small, sad smile on his face.

We sit in silence for a long moment. His presence should comfort me, but instead it just makes me realize how utterly alone I am.

He finally breaks the silence with a small sigh, “so he finally told you huh? I saw the way you left his office. He asked me to make sure you were okay.”

I whip my head and stare at him with a pained expression, feeling the familiar sting of betrayal wash over me again.

“I’m okay,” I reply in a clipped tone.

Guilty, he gives me a resigned look, “I’m his Beta, Freya.”

“And you’re my friend, Max, my friend!” The words come out more broken than angry. I know deep down that there’s no way he could have told me anything.

A beta’s loyalty to his Alpha runs as deep as a bond between mates if not stronger and of all the people Eli could have sent after me, it had to be him?

He huffs, “I’m—”

“They have a child together Max,” my voice cracks and I feel the tears I’ve been holding back finally begin to blur my vision, “he’s going to name the child his heir and I’m—”

I quickly shut my mouth before I can say more. If I tell him about the pregnancy, he’s obligated to tell Eli.

And then this last piece of myself, this one secret that’s mine alone, will be taken from me too.

Sometimes I wish we could return to the good old days when he was my closest friend and confidant, when our friendship was defined by devotion and not cornered by duty. But those days are gone.

Everyone in my life belongs to someone else first. Even Max.

I look away from him, feeling the loneliness settle even deeper.

He takes my hand and clasps his hand over it, but I pull my hand away, the brief touch only reminds me of how cold Eli’s touch has become and I don’t want to get used to it, his comfort.

At least not like this.

He gives me a wry smile and his gentle gaze peers into my soul, his voice solemn and reassuring.

“Did I or did I not make a promise to you, little Frey?”

The nickname makes my throat tighten. It reminds me of a version of myself that felt loved, that felt like she mattered to someone.

“You make many promises, you break even many more,” I reply quietly, no playfulness in my voice, just exhausted truth.

He’s silent for a moment, and I can feel his guilt. “True. But there is one promise I’ll never break and that is to look after your best interests. I don’t know Eli’s mind but—” he hesitates and his expression becomes serious, “what I do know is this, if he plans to replace you with Victoria, I won’t let him.”

I slowly look up at him, wanting so badly to believe him, to feel grateful, but all I feel is tired. So unbearably tired.

Even if by some miracle he’s able to prevent the inevitable, is it what I want?

To stay in a marriage where I’m tolerated but not loved? To raise my child watching their father love another woman’s child more? To spend the rest of my life as Luna, standing beside a man whose heart I never had?

“What if I no longer want to be Luna?” I mutter to myself, looking away from him.