Reflection 22I had been thinking of Victor as I spoke and remembering how kind he had been to me, so that I had almost forgotten that David was lying beside me and I was really talking to him.
But now I suddenly felt embarrassed that he would think, as he had thought before, that I was trying to blackmail him into marriage by telling him about Victor,
It suddenly swept over me that I had been even more stupid than I had ever been in the past in telling David what had happened and showing him how idiotic I was.
I had made him realise, if he did not know it already, that I was a complete and utter failure when it came to learning about love.
He didn’t speak and I felt I knew what he was thinking and how much he despised me.
I had been right in the first place, I told myself, in being de
