choosing my freedom

DOLL CHILD

I had no idea what Seraliana was talking about but it seemed that Mira instinctively knew what it was. Mira then answered defensively, "Of course it is! Why would I ever lie about something like that? My baby is more important to me than anything so I would never lie about her!" Thanks to Mira I immediately knew what the conversation was about. Even though the conversation was now about me I felt like I was the only one who still did not understand what was going own. I was right to say that my day was going to be long but what worried me the most was what was going to come next.

Seraliana then replied to her with a loud voice, "How is that even possible?! She was born without crying or any movement and remained like that for two months, and your saying that she cried yesterday. I do believe you, but do you know how ominous that looks?" That was all news to me but did not seem like she was lying either. I decided to pay even more attention to their conversation. Mira then spoke to her with a confident tone in her voice ,"My baby was alive from the moment she was born, even though she could not laugh or cry or even move around, she could still breath and that gave me hope. I love her even though she was born the way she was and now she is able to live normally so please be happy for us ,for my sake Sera."

Sera then said worriedly, "Both you and Rivers went through so much, many people kept calling you foolish and mad for raising a child that was practically dead; "the doll child". I did not want to see you being treated that way Mira. You could not even go visit the temple to dedicate your child and present her name to Cristiana. How long do you plan on calling her my baby?" Mira then answered her calmly, "Both Rivers and I wanted to keep our child because we had hope that one day she would cry and laugh for us. No matter what people said she was still our baby whom we treasured. As for the temple it is tradition for a child to be dedicated one week after her birth so we decided to go a week after her first cry, so you do not need to worry about us. She is our flesh and blood, we would not throw her away because of something like this."

After Mira spoke, Seraliana sat in silence and defeat. Mira then sighed and looked down at me and then smiled at me. I felt as if she was trying to reassure me, she then stared blankly at the floor; lost in thought. A deafening silence followed , no one was able to continue with the conversation. The air became so dense that I found it difficult to breath. "This was one long afternoon." It got awkward as time continued to elapse. I felt as if I had to do something to remedy the situation or else they would end up as strangers after this ordeal.

I decided to cry. It was the only thing I could think of and do and it worked. Mira snapped out from her disoriented state and stood up to wrack me in her arms so that I would "calm down". Seraliana was also shocked and then looked at me and then said, "She really is crying." She then took the opportunity that was presented and decided to take her leave. "It seems like I provided the perfect opportunity for her to leave, she should thank me in the future or at least treat me kinder, but better yet I hope that she will be able to repair things with Mira because she seemed like a good friend to her judging  by how she worried about her."  

After Seraliana had left my job was done and I stopped crying. Mira then fed me some milk and placed me in the cradle so that I could sleep but how could I even do that when I had not even processed the conversation between the two of them. "I had just been reincarnated a day ago and I soon after find out that I was born two months ago. What was an even bigger shock was that I was born practically lifeless, I now understand the meaning behind the name "doll child".  I wondered if there was a problem with my soul and that worried me."

I ended up thinking about their entire conversation and I realized what my parents went through just because of me. They were scorned and given looks of pity all because of me, Mira even defended me in front of her friend and never abandoned the fact that I was her daughter. I felt guilty and stupid for not trusting them because I was afraid that they would turn out like her (my maid). I could not even call them mother and father even though for the short time that I had been here they were nothing but loving and never scorned me because I was "lifeless". I ended up thinking about it until dusk arrived and my father along with it. He came back with so much enthusiasm in order to find out how my mother's day went but she was not as eager to tell her story.

She still did so anyway but I could tell that her voice carried so much hesitation and sadness. As soon as she had finished talking my father immediately gave her a comforting hug and then told her, "You are not the only one who is worried about our daughter. I have thought for so many times for so many nights on whether she would ever cry or laugh for us but I never lost hope that she would and now she is doing it and  I can finally sleep peacefully. We should think on the here and now and focus on what she is able to do now and not what she could not do and besides once everyone sees my cute daughter smile and laugh they would forget about it and in time they would not even believe that she could not cry and laugh." 

He then stopped embracing her and went to pick me up from my cradle and in one hand he held me while the other was on my mother's shoulders. He then brought us closer to him and said, "Right now my lovely daughter and wife are by my side and I could not be any happier because I am surrounded by beauty." I started laughing in joy and relief. I was surrounded by kind and loving parents. My mother then  began to cry but she was smiling and she also said, "This is the first time she has laughed." then my father added, "Didn't I say her smile would be beautiful?" A wave of relief and comfort overcame my mother and soon she began to start laughing.  

My mother then said that she had thought of the perfect name for me and that she could not wait to visit the church. My father then handed me over to my mother and left the room and went into the kitchen. My mother then temporarily placed me on the bed as she prepared the basin so that she could bathe me. After she was done she dressed me up in clean clothes and then fed me and the rest was the usual. I had felt so tired because of all the thinking I had done and without needing a lullaby, I was fast asleep.