Intense Desires...

Never Say Never...

"I thought you were too young, but I let my passion get the best of me," she added after a glance at me. "I realized right away, Ashvini, that this could never be permanent. I assume you're wiser than I am. You may not realize it right now, but you will. So, let's just take it easy and enjoy our relationship. You'll meet someone your age and then move on. You're a sweetie."

I sulked.

"We still can't be seen together in public, we can't go out," she said softly. "And you're well aware that s*x isn't a relationship (obviously it's off the table now for us). If we need to end this right now, I'll do so. However, you must accept the truth of the circumstances as well. You gave your friendship, but you couldn't announce it to the rest of the world. Nobody will be able to comprehend the essence of our friendship," she explained.

I thought about what she said. I knew she was right. It did not appeal to me. It was a difficult lesson, but I resolved right then and there not to be hung up on 'S-E-X'. It was a turning point that would bring a lot of joy, but also a lot of heartache.

"Someday, as I said, you'll find the person who is perfect for you, who you can take out on dates with, be seen with, and not have to sneak about with," she continued as I stood there contemplating. “I understand your sadness, but it will pass, and I believe you will remember this fondly."

She was probably correct on both counts. I couldn't help but shrug and answer, "I guess."

"When you grin, you look a lot better. You'll have those females drooling over you because of your grin and eyes. And you don't want me to add to the confusion if you do meet someone. She'll almost certainly want you solely, and you should be aware of this. The majority of women will refuse to share their boyfriends (The Man) with another woman. And you should always honor your promise and consider this to be the most important thing you've ever learned. "

Alisha's counsel is excellent. Although it was a different story when it came to obeying.

She then offered me orange juice, which I accepted, and went outside to weed the flowerbed while she began planting seeds and little plants in her garden. It was late enough when I finished the wedding that the mower wouldn't wake the neighbors. Alisha was raking the grass as I was cutting it (her mower didn't have a bag, after all).

I rushed into the shower to wash the sweat and grass off my body while she prepared lunch. She stopped short and remarked, "That was Simarjeet's..." as I stepped out wearing a terry cloth robe, I discovered on a bathroom hook (my clothes were filthy, dirty, and grass-stained).

Oh, no. I should have given it some thought. I quickly turned around to remove it.

"Ashvini, come to a halt. It's all right. I've accepted that he's gone. Seeing you in the robe was a pleasant surprise, though. "

I felt a lot better. "Well, I could still take it off," I said as I pulled the knot back gently.

"Stop it and take a seat. I'll take a brief shower and then return."

I sat down at the kitchen table, looking at the same meal as the last time - sandwiches, chips, and cokes. She returned in less than 5 minutes, still dressed in the same robe she had worn that morning (the previous one). We had a good time eating and chatting. She inquired about my school and acquaintances. I assured her that my school was fine, with mostly A's and a few B's for the year.

"However, there is an issue with my pals. I only have two decent ones, and one of them is departing in a few weeks."

"Who’s moving out?"

"No, I don't mean that. Yes, she'll be returning home."

"She?" Alisha inquired, a glint in her eye.

"I wish", I groaned and spoke. "However, at the start of the year, she had a crush on my friend Ritvik, who is the other priest boy with me on Thursdays at the Temple. For some reason I don't understand, he seemed uninterested. And she and I never progressed beyond being friends. And now she's returning to London," I lamented. "I'm not sure I'll ever see her again."

"Never say 'Never.' You have no idea what will happen? Maintain contact with her. Write to her regularly. You never know what life has in store for you. I certainly didn't expect to be a widow at the age of twenty-four. I feel so wicked!" she exclaimed with a gleam in her eye, then smiled, "or to have taken a sixteen-year-old priest boy almost to bed!"

I simply grinned. I didn't know what to say at that time.

"Can you tell me where she's from?" Alisha had inquired.

“London! I don't know how many times I have to tell you."

Alisha burst out laughing. "Let me get this straight: you were rejected by a London girl. Did that teach you anything?"

“Yeah. Girls in London aren't 'easy.' Yamini and I have a running joke about it. When I try to progress beyond just being friends, she shifts the conversation, ignores the comments, or somehow deflects it."

"Did you ever imagine that she's thinking the same thing you're thinking - that she's leaving and may never see you again?"

"No, Ritvik piqued her curiosity. She even admitted it to me. It's probably just me."

"Don't be too certain. You stated that happened at the start of the year?" She is trying to raise some hope in me.

“Yeah.”

"Did you ever try to get things along?"

"It was my birthday in April. I felt an electrifying thrill as she kissed me on the cheek."

Alisha burst out laughing once again.

"Boys!" she said, exasperated. "Of course, men aren't any better. If you pay attention to them, they will follow you around like puppy dogs! Consider this: it was the month of April. She'll be back in the first week of June. Do you think that made a difference?"

I came to a halt to consider it. "Yeah, it could have," I said slowly.

"Then give her a break. She appears to be a nice girl. And you never know what may happen in the future. Simarjeet and I met in Middle School and remained friends until we graduated from High School and married after five long and eventful years of dating."

“Yeah, she’s a good friend. She figured out that I did something extravagant on that particular day, without me saying a word to her!”

“What?” Her voice was trembling with surprise.

“She won’t say anything to anyone. Well, maybe to Ritvik, but he’s not going to say anything, I’m sure. He’s too good a friend.”

I could even see that Alisha was anxious.

"What exactly do you mean when you say she's figured it out?"

"She glanced at me and observed me as I went to the party (Obviously hers). She called me that night, shortly after I came home, and inquired who I had been with. She inquired as to what had occurred before I arrived at her residence. She claimed she saw I was becoming more confident and that I had spoken to a girl for whom I'd had a hidden crush all year-a cheerleader. Then she asked, plainly, "Who was she?" I pondered for a few moments before admitting that it had happened and that I would never reveal who it was, since I didn't want it to be known that I would kiss and tell. She's been mocking me for the past two weeks about how I'm not a virgin while she is. And this after all of our mocking about London females being easy, "I explained.

"OK," Alisha murmured, after a little period of relaxation. "That doesn't appear to be a bad idea. But don't you see why we can't continue to see each other as friends now? It's quite risky. This adds to the excitement, but it also raises the risk of calamity."

"Yeah, I guess I see that," I groaned.

Today, we spoke a lot. Yes, a lot. It was a whole new experience for me. I learned a great deal about her. She is a cunning fox, but she is also more intellectual. Her words are always logical and magical simultaneously. Her knowledge of a wide range of topics is unsurpassed. If you give her a topic, she can talk about it for hours. I had a great time listening to her. I could call her my life's love, but I'll never be able to have her. Now I'm thinking about how most love-story movies end with couples being separated.

I kissed her (on the forehead) and held her before taking my last shower of the day. She remained on the couch, thoroughly satisfied and smiling. I got dressed quickly, stepped over to the couch, kissed her on the cheek, and quietly murmured, "Bye."

"Goodbye, Ashvini," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks as she gazed at me.

I went out, got on my bike, and rode slowly home, thinking about all that had happened and dealing with the whirlwind of emotions. I knew I'd see her again, but I also knew that the previous two weeks would have a special place in my heart for the rest of my life.