Ronan came fast across the snow. Tall. Hot anger in his stride. “Why are you acting like this?” he said. “Mother has thought about you every day for four years. And you stand there and stare at the ground.”
“Enough, Ronan,” Luna Nicole said. Her voice cut clean. He stopped a few steps away. His jaw worked. He looked at me and then at Florian. Florian did not move. His face did not say anything.
“Come inside,” Luna Nicole said to me. “You can rest. Grandmother is waiting.”
At the sound of Grandmother, I moved. I left the cold and the eyes at my back. The main hall spread out under bright lights. Fresh flowers in heavy glass. Polished floors that looked like water. Walls without a mark. The place was beautiful and spotless. Nothing showed that a girl had once run here and left fingerprints on the rails. My skin felt too tight.
“This way,” Luna Nicole said. She led me down the long hall, past the stairs that climbed to the rooms I used to know. We reached the last door on the right. She opened it.
A guest room. Warm light. Thick rugs. A bed that looked soft. A fire in the small hearth. A folded robe on the chair. It was perfect. It was not mine.
“You can clean up and rest here,” she said. “You are still the Alpha’s eldest daughter. We will set things right. Life will be what it was.”
I gave a short laugh. It sounded wrong in my throat. I stepped past her and set my coat on the chair. My hands shook when I let go. I closed them and hid them in my sleeves.
“Do you want food?” she asked. “Soup. Bread. Tea with honey.”
“I want quiet,” I said.
She flinched at my tone. She nodded and tried to smile. “I will send a healer in ten minutes. I will come after that. Grandmother is weak today. Do not make her wait long.”
I turned my face away. She left. The door clicked shut.
Heat pressed on me from the fire. I stood in the middle of the room and did not sit. I looked at the walls. I looked at the neat stack of towels. My old room had a loose board under the window seat where I hid notes and small things. Navy had claimed that room years ago. I did not want to see what she had done with it. I breathed through my nose until my chest hurt less.
A tap on the door. Florian stepped inside without waiting for my answer. He held a folded navy blanket. He did not look at my face.
“You forgot this,” he said. He set it on the end of the bed. “It was in the trunk.”
“It is not mine,” I said.
“It was yours,” he said. “Four Wilson ago.”
“Four Wilson is a long time.”
He watched me for a quiet moment. “You will not last on pride,” he said. “Sit. Drink water.”
“I am not your concern,” I said.
“You are Elder’s concern,” he said. “So you are mine for the next hour.”
“I do not want your duty.” I walked to the window and touched the cold glass. “I want truth. Why are you here, Florian. Do not tell me it is not the question.”
He stood still. The silence stretched. “I am here because Elder asked me to get you,” he said. “And because I do what protects the pack.”
“And me,” I said. “Do I count in that.”
He did not answer. My throat burned. I turned. He looked the same and not the same. My ring finger ached in a way that made me angry at myself.
“Navy’s perfume is all over your car,” I said.
He did not blink. “Navy rode with me this morning. She left her scarf.”
“Of course she did.”
“You will have to share rooms and halls,” he said. “Face that now.”
“I can face a lot,” I said. “I faced four years.”
The air shifted in the doorway. Navy stood there with a tray. A bowl of broth. Bread. A small jar of honey. Her hands were steady. Her eyes looked damp.
“I brought the tea,” she said. “I asked the cook to make the soup you liked. The one with ginger.”
I stared at the tray. Then at her. “Keep it,” I said.
She stepped in anyway. She set the tray on the table by the fire. “I know sorry is not enough,” she said. “I will say it anyway. I am sorry, Natille. I am sorry for the night you left. I am sorry for every day after.”
“Your sorry came wrapped in a ribbon,” I said. “I heard it in Luna’s message. True mates belong together. For your happiness I had to go.”
Navy’s mouth flattened. “I did not plan that,” she said. “I did not ask for it.”
“But you took it,” I said.
Florian’s eyes moved from me to Navy and back. “This is not the time,” he said.
“Then when,” I said. “After tea. After a healer names all my bruises. After I sleep in a room that used to be for guests. After I walk past my old door and pretend I do not see what replaced me.”
Navy hugged her arms across her middle. For once, she looked unsure. “If you will let me fix one small thing,” she said. “I will ask Mother to move you to your old room. You do not have to stay here.”
“I do not want your charity,” I said.
“It would not be charity,” she said. “It would be right.”
Ronan appeared behind her. His steps were loud on the hall floor. “What is this,” he said. “A show.”
“Leave,” I said.
He laughed without humor. “You walk back in like a ghost and tell me to leave my own hall.”
Florian looked at him. “Ronan.”
Ronan stopped talking. He glared at me and then at Navy. “Mother is waiting. Elder is waiting. You two can play later.”
“Out,” Florian said.
Ronan held his stare and then went. His door down the hall slammed.
Navy let out a breath. “I am not here to fight you,” she said. “I came to ask if you will see Grandmother now. She has been awake since dawn. She is afraid you will change your mind.”
I felt my anger shift. The tightness in my chest moved. I looked at the door and then at the blanket on the bed. I looked at my hands. The skin over my knuckles was raw.
“I will see her,” I said. “I will not see you.”
“I understand,” Navy said. “I will walk ahead and send Mother to guide you.”
“Do not send her,” I said. “I can find the way.”
Navy nodded. She picked up the tray and paused. “I know you do not want this,” she said. “I will leave it by the door. If you change your mind, it will still be warm.”
She left. The scent of her perfume faded with her steps. I leaned on the window frame until my hands steadied. Florian watched me the whole time. He did not speak.
“What did you tell yourself after the night I left,” I asked. “That you had no choice. That duty is heavier than love. That your mate bond made it simple.”
He set his jaw. “Stop.”
“We were engaged,” I said. “The ring was on my finger. You let them pull it off. Do not say this is not the time.”
He closed his eyes for a slow count. When he opened them, they were colder. “You will not make me argue with you when you can barely stand,” he said. “Sit. Drink. Then go to Elder. After that you can throw your words. I will not run.”
“I do not remember you running,” I said. “I remember you standing still while I walked out.”
He took one step toward the door. “I will wait in the hall,” he said. “Five minutes. Then we go.”
He left. The latch clicked. I stood alone again. The room hummed with quiet. I sat at last because my legs trembled. I poured water from the pitcher and drank. It hurt all the way down and felt good at the same time. I washed my hands in the small sink and watched gray water swirl away. I pulled off my shoes and rubbed my feet. The fire warmed my skin in a slow, steady way.
I changed into the robe because the cloth did not scrape my bruises. I combed my hair with my fingers. Strands came away and stuck to my palms. I cleaned them off and kept going until my scalp stopped aching. I looked at the mirror and did not look away. This was my face. Thinner. Harder. Still mine.
I opened the door. Florian stood with his back to me. He turned at the sound. His eyes went to my bare feet.
“Shoes,” he said.
“They are wet,” I said.
“You will not walk barefoot to Elder,” he said. He bent and set a pair of soft house shoes on the floor. “Wear these.”
I slid my feet in. Warmth spread up my calves. I hated that it felt good.
We walked. The hall lights were bright and even. The house smelled like lemon oil and bread. Every few steps, a memory rose up and fell away. Laughter on the stairs. Ronan shoving me and then pulling me back with a grin. Navy singing in the music room when she thought no one could hear. Florian at the end of a long table, listening more than talking. Luna Nicole walking with a list and a tight mouth.