Forsaken Sentiments

Forsaken Sentiments

            I could barely remember what happened. The event was coming so fast that I wasn’t able to make a hold of it. It seemed like a living nightmare for me. Every night when I fell asleep, the memories kept haunting me like my life is in great peril. And then, when I woke up, there went my heart pumping wildly like a drum beaten hardly and a sweat would rush all through my body. If given a look, I was like a chick soaking from a rain.

            It kind of really hard to recover from that incident a long time ago, though.

            He was my first and he was my everything. He made me feel like I was special and nothing else mattered but me…us. It was my first ever relationship with somebody. I mean, he wasn’t just somebody to me. he was someone whom I could rely on everytime I felt bad with the world for giving me  bullshits I wasn’t capable of dealing with. He made me smile, too, whenever I felt like my mood was under the weather. He comforted me with all the things he could do just to make me feel okay even though I was just pulling on his leg.

            He was so many things…that I could no longer finger count the things he had done for my advantage.

            I was so much happy by his side but not until that night.

            The night which scarred me for life and made me feel like betrayed. I couldn’t even believe how it happened after a long year of being together.

            We were staying at his apartment that time because he wanted me to come so that we could celebrate our first anniversary of being together. I went directly to his place right after my classes were done. When I arrived, everything was all set already. There were ribbons hanging on the wall and on the ceiling with the “Happy Anniversary” written on a specialized cartoon paper. And then at the center of the room was a small enough round table covered with a red cloth. On the top of it were three lighted candles surrounded with crimson red roses, two plates, and wine. As I looked at the whole place, it was dimly lit so that it filled the room with a romantic vibe.

            Seconds later, the godly handsome man suddenly appeared in front of me wearing a black tuxedo with his dark hair gelled stylishly to his back. I felt like everything was in slow motion at that moment because of the awestrucking scenery that was unfolding in front of me.

            With his right hand, he held a bouquet of flowers. Then, he suddenly sauntered and showed me his deadly smile that captured my heart since the first time we met. Then, he greeted me a happy anniversary with a bone crushing hug. That was so sweet of him that I thought I was on cloud nine that time and I didn’t know just what to do about it.

            After that, we already had our dinner and while we ate, we talked about things and reminisced about the times we had our firsts. We laughed and enjoyed the sweet unforgettable moment together just before we finished our food. When we had it done, we went out to watch a movie, went to different rides, and all sorts of things that a typical couple do during occasions like we had.

            It was great and it made me forget all the other things but the two of us in the world.

            “I love you Jace,”he told me when we were driving back to his place. I looked at his eyes and it only showed love and admiration.

            “I love you too, Jake,” I replied with all the love I had for him.

            With all honesty, since he came into my life, everything became as perfect as it had been. I was full of life and so inspired that everytime I got the chance to make a wish, I wished for it to continue forever.

            As soon as Jake and I got out from the car, we hurriedly went inside the room. When I stepped inside, I was taken aback from the human silhouette on the wall created because of the only source of light across the room, which was the lampshade on the table near the television. Making it hard to see the face. It looked like a woman with a long stringy hair  and when I looked down she was holding something…but…more like a “someone”.

            “Hello, John!” she greeted him. I thought she was just mistaken because my boyfriend was Jake and not John. And also, how did she got inside the apartment? Was she a robber, a thief or someone like a killer? Who was she? I didn’t even know her and she was calling my boyfriend a wrong name…is she insane?

            There were so many questions whirling inside my head like a tornado to the point that I couldn’t even dare speak a word of it. So, I glanced at Jake’s direction and he, to, was surprised about the situation.

            “W-why are you h-here?” he just asked the woman as if there was nothing better that would come out from his mouth to say. His face clearly showed nervousness.

            I returned my gaze back to the woman and I saw her sauntered towards us revealing her true identity. As she slowly came out from the dark, her deeply red colored shaggy dress paired similarly with five inches high hills and red nail polish on her feet were showing.

            I dragged my eyes back up to her face. Despite the dimness of the light inside the room, her lips were shining bloodily because of the thick red lipstick applied on them while her long stringy hair hung low on both sides of her shoulders. In totality, she was so gorgeous and with her attire that night, she looked like she was about to attend a very important occasion…like a wedding or a huge formal event.

            “Why? Are you not delighted to see us?” she replied with a voice so sweet yet enormous. Her eyes were focused only to Jake showing a subtle emotion that made me confused. Then, a smile was drawn on her face.

            I was about to speak when she suddenly interrupted.

            “I see that you’ve prepared something. What’s the occasion? Is it…” she stopped for a second and turned to me. “…his birthday?”

            I didn’t know but I sensed a bit of sarcasm with her speech.

            “Um…i-it’s, um…” Jake was stuttering while his eyes looked back and forth between me and the woman. His eyes were full of emotions that I couldn’t decipher. “C-can we just talk for a while? Just us.” He said to the woman with a little bit of force evident in his voice.

            But, instead, the woman answered, “Would you mind introducing me to your companion?”

            As she uttered those words, she slowly walked to my direction and stared at me intently. She had that eye like an eagle that seemed like she was going to hook me up and feed me to her nestling. She stopped in front of me without taking off her deadly glares on me.

            It lasted for about a minute without saying anything until she raised her right hand and caressed my cheek so lightly.

            “Pretty boy,” she said, barely a whisper. And then she kissed my cheeks on both sides leaving a mark of perfect shape of her lips on them. I felt it.

            I was surprised of what she did. I turned to look at my boyfriend and all I saw was a shocked yet confused reaction written all over his face. I guessed we had the same feeling of what she had done.

            However, questions were still swimming inside my head about whatever was happening. I wanted to ask him about it but I couldn’t for an unknown reason. I thought about asking the woman but I was so intimidated with her.

            After a while, she moved back a little bit and then she stared at me. She said, “Now I know, John.”

            “Amanda, please…let’s just talk outside.” Jake pleadingly said to the woman.

            Just as I was about to interrupt them, somebody made a talk.

            “P-papa?” said the innocent voice. I looked at where it came from and I saw a child, a little boy. He stepped near to my boyfriend and then he held his hands. “Can we now go home?” the little boy asked.

            I still didn’t understand what was going on. I was just there standing dumbfounded not even making a single move and held my breath. I was so confused that moment, very much. I didn’t even know what to do. What was happening? Who were those people?

            After seconds of being silent, Jake said to the boy and hugged him, “Um, y-yeah. Yes. Just wait for a moment okay? There’s just something that needs to be handled, hmm?”

            After that, he walked to my direction in a careful manner. When we were already facing each other, he hesitantly held my arms trying to come up with something to say. He stared at me intently like he was really looking into my deepest soul. His eyes were full of mixed up emotions that made me worry about. However, sadness dominated it all.

            I admit that I was very dismayed about what happened and I got so many questions for him relating to whatever happened. But what made it all worst was that he never said a word. He didn’t care to explain what happened that almost made me out of my sanity. He didn’t even care about how I felt. I, too, was hurt because of too many assumptions that’s been inside my mind yet he didn’t do something that would enlighten me.

            I was feeling so down because of what he did…

            Before they left…HE LEFT, he gave me a kiss on the lips that lasted for about a minute. A kiss that I never thought would be the last one for us. I expected it to have so much affection or spark between our lips but I never felt it and I didn’t even tasted it. It was like a dead kiss. And after that, they were gone before I got the chance to blink my eyes.

            He was gone.

            I was left in my same position dumbfounded, confused, hurt, betrayed, full of regret, and most of all…heartbroken. And all I could do that night was cry hard until my eyes couldn’t anymore dispense even a single tear.

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