Crushing Emeralds

Chapter Eleven

I wake up early on Monday morning to get ready for the memorial service at the school. Over the past few days news of Leander and Sheila broke. They were found dead in the woods. Two more victims the wolf claimed.

I struggle to pull myself out of bed, but I drag my feet across the floor to the bathroom desperately trying to wake myself up. My reflection is just as scary as my life is right now. The lack of sleep has created dark bags under my eyes. I take a shower and make myself look presentable as possible before and sulking back to my room wear I pick out a typical funeral looking wardrobe.

By time I go downstairs to show my mother that I’m alive and decline anything to eat, we have to leave for the school. An unnecessary dread comes over me. The thought of seeing everyone again doesn’t seem appealing.

I keep my head down toward the ground the entire time. A headband with a small mesh black veil attached to it hides my Charlie Brown bags. The ceremony is long and brings flashback of their bleeding bodies that I wasn’t able to save.

I just stare at the chair in front of me blocking out all the stares of fellow students, family members of the deceased, and teachers. Each family would have their own funeral for the individuals and I know that it would be closed casket.

As I was sitting in my seat ignoring all those around me a man walks up beside me and holds his hand out for me to shake. I oblige just to be polite.

“I wanted to ask if you would like to say a few words about the students that died. You tried to help them and many appreciate your efforts.” the man asks.

“No…” is all I can manage to get out. I want to say more, but I can’t make my vocal cords work. My throat closes up and my mouth gets instantly dry. He just nods his head and walks away, off to find a different willing body.

Evan sits directly behind me. I can feel his stare burn into my back. His disappointment in me soundless spoken. I’m not handling it well and he knows it. Everyone for all I know knows it. My mother treats me like a fragile statue that has several cracks in it. One push in the wrong direction and I’ll shatter.

I block out all the heartfelt speeches from people that either knew the victims too well or not at all. And then I hear it, my name. The principal stands up on stage, eyes scanning the floor.

He repeats, “Emerald, please join me on stage.” the principal steps off to the side, eyes finally finding me.

I refuse to stand up, head shaking back in forth in denial, but my mother forces me to my feet quickly handing me off to Evan. Everyone’s eyes on me makes me feel as if I’m suffering from a hot flash.

“I hate you.” I whisper to him as he leads me on stage.

Evan stays by my side as we approach the podium. The principal, back at the mic. “Emerald we would like to give you this plaque for the braveness that you expressed and your efforts to those that were injured.”

I accept the plaque with words of thanks, but make no move to speak. I hurry off the stage, Evan trailing behind me.

I don’t go back to my seat. I go outside to wait for it to be over. Evan regrettably follows me. “Go back inside.”

“No. You go back inside.” He snaps back.

“I just need some space. Some quiet unwatched space. Okay?”

“Em-”

“Tell my mother I’m out here waiting.”

He leaves without another word leaving me to sit on the steps outside the school. The time goes by faster than it did inside. Before I know people start to trickle out of the building. My mother has that look on her face as she approaches me. Disappointment.

Halfway to the car Marley’s parents stop my mother, but I keep on walking. She tries to hold tightly onto my hand to keep me with her, but I break free. I can’t look at them. I hear a little of the conversation as I walk away, they want to order flowers for the funeral.

I glance back to see if my mother is coming yet, she’s not. It’s then that I spot Evan with that girl on the JV squad. He gives me this pleading look to wait, but I don’t. He had his hands full embracing the crying girl in his arms.

Racing to the car trying to escape. I don’t pay attention, I just sped walk with my head down, veil still covering my eyes. I turn the corner too fast and I smack into a body, a much taller muscular body.

I mutter an apology without making eye contact. I step to the side to continue my trek to the car, but their hands plant me in place.

“Emerald...its me. Blake.”

This time I look up, and meet those gray eyes.

He just stares back speechless until he apologizes himself, “I’m the one that should be sorry that I nearly knocked you to the ground. Are you alright? Or as alright as you can get?” His fingers pinch the edge of the veil that covers my eyes.

I step back out of his grasp. “What are you doing here?” The accusation thick in tone. “I’m sorry that came out mean.”

“No. You’ve been through a lot. I heard about the horrible events and I haven’t heard anything from you. I was worried.”

My heart stops dead in its tracks from words. “I’m...alive.” I couldn’t bring myself to say good or great, because I’m not.

I notice Blake’s eye narrowed gaze as he stares at something or someone. I hear Evan yell my name and his footsteps get closer. But before Evan gets close enough to catch me I try to race to the car. Completely ditching Blake in process, or would be process. Blake grabs my arm to keeping me by his side.

I frantically look between him and Evan who get closer by the second. The last thing I want is a confrontation. Blake turns me to him, my back now toward Evan. He leans in to whisper in my ear, “Every time I see you you’re running away from him. And like always I’ll be here.” He kisses me on the cheek and walks away.

He gets lost in the crowd, but I’m left out in the open Evan quickly upon me. The car is so close, but without the keys I’m locked out.

“I’m sorry. Okay? I deserve all of that. But I didn’t set you up in there. I promise I would never...trying to get back at me in any way with whatever his name is isn’t the way.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“I don’t like him Emerald.”

“You’ve made that known already.”

“There’s just something off about him.”

“And there’s something off about you too.” I didn’t know what I’m getting at, but I didn’t care. All I care about is him leaving.

My mother finally approaches us. “What is going on here?”

“Nothing. I’ll see you later.” Evan backs down.

My mother remains silent the whole way home, she knows not to ask too many questions and push me into talking. She knows I’ll come around sooner later. I immediately go to my room, whip off my veil, and examine myself in the mirror. The sight I see is beyond scary. Exactly as I expected before. Mascara runs down face, my nose is red and shiny with snot.

It isn’t long before I hear The Victors car pull into their driveway. I stand up, watch as Evan along with Jordan and Kordie exit the car, and begin heading toward my own front door. I whisper incoherent profanity under my breath as I try to run to the bathroom to clean up.

I trip over my chair in the process and quickly wash my face, put my hair in a ponytail, get some pajamas before they walk up the stairs. I stand in the middle of my room as the reach the second floor. We seem to stand there, staring at each other. It's almost in slow motion as they approach my room.

“I brought them so you can tell them what you told me. They saw the scratches.” Evan says arms hanging open ready for me to run in his arms as always, but not today.

I’m surprised on how Evan believes me now and how Kordie along Jordan don’t even doubt me. I kept my place standing in the middle of the room staring at them.

“You forgot this in the car. Your mom gave it to us to give to you.”Jordan holds out the plaque.

“Just put it wherever.”

“You do know that you deserve it, right? I mean everybody would have died or gone crazy without you.” Kordie says eyeballing the plaque.

“People still died.” I whisper under my breath.

“No one could’ve saved them.” Kordie walks over to me, her hand intertwined with mine. “Now what is this that Evan was telling us about the wolf following you home?”

I tell them about the nightmares, the way too realistic nightmares. The feeling of being watched. The feeling of just knowing something, the burden that weighs on my shoulders. The wolf is here and its close.