Crushing Emeralds

Chapter Fifteen

I land with a hard thump as my body slowly falls onto the mattress of the twin bed in the dorm room at UW Oshkosh; my new home for the next four years. “Remind me to buy a mattress pad to make this bed a little softer.” I say as I begin to laugh and grunt with pain as Kordelia chimes in with her own laughter.

“Are you going to unpack before or after we find Evan?” Kordie asks catching me off guard as she starts to open her luggage.

“I agree Kordie let’s unpack, put our sheets on the bed and then find Evan.” I take her lead and dig into my own bags.

This might be home away from dorm home, but it kinda felt as if I was running away. I made sure to not to put anything on f*******: and advised Evan and Kordie to do that same. They were confused, but they listened to my pleading. We talked about leaving for college, but we didn’t tell which one.

All because of Blake. Werewolf Blake.

I thought about deleting or blocking him from my page, but I couldn’t do it. After everything he threw at me and everything I endured because of him I still can’t severe the ties that draw me to him.

I know I sound foolish being attracted to somebody that almost killed me, but ever since I first met him at The Tech Shop something came over me.

Before I left for the long ride here I checked his f*******: page, it read that he was going back to Nebraska. I saw that message weeks ago, but I checked it everyday. I could feel my heart get heavy and question after question race through my head; how could he do this to me and leave? Why did he come all the way to Wisconsin and repeatedly attack solely me? I couldn’t understand why it had to be me; there are many other girls in the world. Maybe I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe I was the slowest and stupidest.

I finish my side of the room by placing a picture of Kordie, Evan, and myself along with Jordan on the nightstand. Three loud bangs on the door didn’t stop me from going down memory lane. Out of the corner of my eye I see Kordie drop her pillow that she was trying to shove in the pillowcase and run to the door.

I stay motionless on the bed and stare at the picture that could never be taken again. I went every Sunday with Evan and Kordie to mourn Jordan; bringing flowers every time to set by his gravestone and every time crying. It’s been several months, but it seems like yesterday we were running for our lives. Flashes of fellow students dead bodies and blood splattered windows play behind my blank eyes.

It’s a common vision I have that occurs at least once a week. I tried to visit Marley Matthews and Jason Breakers gravesites every now and then but could never follow through. It was bad enough to visit a person I talked to, joked with everyday and have them abruptly taken away. I forced myself to visit all of their graves though the day before we left leaving lilies from my mother’s flower shop on their gravestones.

Deep down I blame Jordan’s death on myself, I told Kordie to go there when we could have just went to the police station ourselves. As for Marley and Jason I blame the mysterious wolf partly, and myself the other part. I might have not caused those wounds, but I could not save them. Hence why I gave up my dreams becoming a doctor, too much loss.

“Why hello Evan, nice of you to come find us, we were just finishing up and then we were going to take a stroll around. We would have found you sooner or later.” Kordie said as she shut the door after him.

I could feel Evan’s eyes on me, but I’m frozen by those horrid events that happened not so long ago.

“I see you already unpacked and made the place look like home.” he says as he sits down beside me.

I snap out of my flashback instantly at the sound of his voice, “What?” I nod profusely, “Yeah, Yeah, home sweet dorm home. How’s the roommate?” I immediately change the subject.

“I don’t know. His stuff was already in the room when I got there. The mysterious person that I’m going to be living with is unknown, but I found a name on something, Blake.” Evan said oblivious to the fact that the name Blake gives me chills.

I tell myself repeatedly that there are many Blake’s in the world; it doesn’t necessarily mean Blake Ashton, the werewolf. What if it is Blake? Evan would be furious if he has to share a room with somebody he has not liked since the first time he laid eyes on him. Evan has expressed to me previously that the three times I was with Blake he watches me like a wild animal stalking his prey. At the time he told me that I blew it off, but now he doesn’t know how right he is.

Forcing myself to focus on happier thoughts such as how I won’t be alone for all of my classes. I’ll have Kordie and Evan with me for the general ones. We each had our own majors, but the general classes that were required are going to hold many familiar faces.

Mostly Kordie and Evan chatted as I just nodded not really hearing what they were saying. Only minutes later we decide to take a little stroll through campus. We don’t stay out too long because our nerves make us jittery for our first day tomorrow. My heart never really stops its fast hard beating.

One word clouds my thoughts, burrows into my dreams. Blake.