It Has Always Been You

Chapter – 12

Chapter – 12

Pain Goes Deep

“Hey Elena, are you okay?” suddenly a distant voice fell in my ears. It was like someone calling me from the top of a building. I tried moving, but I felt my body hardened like a heavyweight sitting on top of my body. Moving even a little was hard. I tried to wiggle in my fingers and then tongue in my mouth.

“hey wake up.” I heard the same call again, but this time there was a pat on my hands, too. Then another pat on my cheeks. The hands were soft and cold and maybe wet too.

“What happened to her suddenly, she was just fine.”

“she used to be asthmatic, I thought they cured her.”

“Should we take her to the hospital? What if her condition worsens?”

I opened my eyes at the name of hospitals. I don’t want mom and dad to know about my fainting. They will unnecessarily worry about me. Or worse, they might land in the city.

I sat was weakly. My head was heavy, like someone hammered on it. I carried my body up and said rubbing my head, “I'm fine, no need for the hospital.”

“thank god you are fine. I got so scared about you.” Emmi suddenly grabbed me, hugging me tightly, sitting on my level. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital? I don’t want your condition to worsen.” he continued.

“no, I'm really fine.” I looked around. I was lying on the couch in the backstage of that club. I must be the room for artists to get ready before their performance. There were mirrors and chairs and lights, a lot of them.

“Why am I here?” I asked.

“Nancy arranged this for you to rest in. She had to continue the show, so she left but she was here with you for some time.”

How embarrassing!!! I slapped myself in my head a million times for being so careless. Everyone was there, making me feel much embarrassed. Gannon, Mia, Emmi and, yes, Caspian were here too. What is he doing here? Didn’t he go to New York to study business, to take over his father’s company, at least that’s what everyone else said in the group chats? Was that a lie? I came all the way here so no one would know me to accept Emmi, especially not Caspian, and only to find out him here. Out of every university in this entire world, he has to be here to humiliate even further.

No… I don’t want to see him, it’s just insulting me out of my wits. I can never forget the way he ripped my feelings off and insulted me so brutally in front of so many people. A no would have been just fine for the answer. I can’t forgive him for what he did. Looking at his face was the least possible thing in my power, since I don’t have any other choice.

“I want to go home. Can you take me?” I uttered softly to Emmi.

“Yeah, sure, let's go. But are you sure you will be fine, I can take you to the hospital?” Emmi always worries about me. He needs to chill. I'm not that week anymore.

“I'm fine, really. I felt nauseated because I ate little today.”

“I'm sorry Gannon, I'm sorry Mia. Please don’t ruin your night because of me. I'm really fine.” I said and realized how weak my voice sounded; I might look the same as well.

“it's really fine. You should first look after yourself. Go home and take some rest.” Mia came over and hugged me.

“yes, go,” Gannon spoke too.

My eyes went to look at Caspian, whose eyes were already on me. Quickly I removed my eyes from him before he suspects any more than he already does. Even Emmi took his time to recognize me, how could he just look at me and say my name, we weren’t that close.

“thank you and sorry,” I said, trying not to look at him.

“come let’s go.” Emmi supported my body with him and I stood up from the couch.

We walked past, from where Caspian was standing with his girlfriend. I didn’t glance at him. I was too embarrassed to do so. I just went past there. It was t*****e to be in the same room as him, to be honest. But I can’t take my mind off him. The past keeps coming back to me in a flash, piece by piece, minute by minute. And I am not liking the feeling. It feels if he and I met again, my walls will crash down. He was bad news, and I just started loving myself.

Emmi stopped there and bro-hugged him, saying something in his ear. His voice was quiet, but then I heard him saying, “bye bro, I'll see you tomorrow.”

My gaze was down at the floor, not caring and daring to see at anyone in the room. I took a deep breath, getting out of there. Too much for my first day of college. God knows what is going to happen next. I have long years to stay here.

“should we eat something first? You look really weak. Are you not eating well?” we were back in the car when Emmi asked worriedly.

“no, I'm fine, I just didn’t have time to eat much,” I answered uninterestedly, my mind stuck with the thoughts of someone else. I just wanted to go home and hide under the thick sheets of my bed.

“What did you eat the entire day? I don’t think you eat anything today.” his voice got louder, like he was almost about to scold me.

“We had lunch together, remember,” I answered. I wanted to lie that I ate something else too. I knew he would be angry at the truth, but I couldn't lie to him.

“Which you pecked like a bird. Do you wish to die? Don’t tell me you are eating like this, it’s not healthy.”

“I had nothing to eat at home, so I went to buy the groceries. I didn’t have time to fix something up for me.”

“skip no other meal. You know our family had a history of diabetes and we are not far away from those genes.”

“I know, I know, sorry.”

“what do you want to eat?”

“some soup.”

“I know a good place. I'll take you. You need some fantastic food now.”