It Has Always Been You

Chapter – 15

Chapter – 15

You run away, you stay, are the two paths separated by a line. But the choice is hard, always. But choosing one is what’s important.

**

“Hey.”

I was getting out of my class in the herd when I heard Emmi calling for me. He was closer than the decibel of his voice in my ear, which was distant. He was near but the swarm of students around me and hindered us from seeing each other.

“How are you here?” I wondered as I saw him looking as fresh as my day today.

Uncle and aunt are going to be pissed if they know he is not taking his studies seriously as they expected from him.

“Your chemistry class got canceled, I heard. The oldie bailed on his students. So, you will be free now I suppose.”

“I think so.”

“Good for me. Miss nerd is back it seems, why are you wearing glasses today.” He pointed out, and I didn’t even realize it till now, that I forgot to put on my contact lenses today and came to college being a nerdy a*s as I was. Gabe will be angry if she knows I didn’t follow her instructions. “They suit you, make you look more…” he paused, “you. The old you.” He smiled, patting my head.

I'm not a puppy!!!

But he likes the gesture, and I let him be.

“Yeah, but….” I opened my mouth. “No buts, come with me to the cafeteria now I'm starving. I have been cooking since morning and hadn’t eaten a bite.” He complained as if I asked him to cook. Huh.

“But why did you bring lunch? I know you never cook.” I said, asking the reason.

“I was experimenting with something, so I thought maybe you can tell me how that is. I added every cheese I had because you told me.”

“But there has to be some occasion that your lazy a*s worked for something as insignificant as cooking?”

“I never said cooking is bad.”

And I never said I'm a girl. Ridiculous.

“Yes, you did. Do I make you count how many times? You always said it is a waste of time when we can just order takeaways.”

“I'll tell you. But it can happen if you come with me, don’t you think?”

He took me to the cafeteria, which I haven’t still remembered the directions of, and his friends were already there at a table. Like they were waiting for me.

Mia, Gannon, and the trouble Caspian I was wishing to avoid.

“Hey.” I waved at them.

“are you feeling fine now?” Gannon sounded concerned as he came to me, taking my bag and keeping it on the table.

Classic flirt.

“Ah… I'm peachy.” I said, walking behind him.

“Well then, come sit.” He pulled out a chair next to him. I didn’t really have any discomfort with that until I realized that Caspian and Claire will sit right in front of me from this chair. It made me uncomfortable, no matter how many times I told myself that he didn’t deserve my attention, but I still felt weak sitting on that chair. I didn’t want him to notice the discomfort, so I never looked at him and his girl.

Avoidance is bliss. I kept on chanting it like it is a magical mantra.

“Here, have a bite.” Emmi offered me a spoonful, stuffing straight in my mouth. I couldn’t even see what it was.

“He has a crush on a girl.” Gannon started almost making me choke on my food.

“What really?” swallowing it whole, I looked at Emmi. He is always shy about his crushes, but he tells me eventually about everything.

“He was being shy to ask her out for a very long time. And now that he did, he is nervous about cooking for her.” Gannon continued.

“He is shy around girls,” I spoke.

“He isn’t around you though.”

“Because we grew up together from the time, we couldn’t even speak.”

“You should have seen him when she asked her out.” Gannon laughed, remembering the time.

I can only imagine.

“Shut up.” Emmi joked, which made us laugh.

I couldn’t but sneak peeks on Caspian every minute. I felt like I will not remember his face if I don’t see it now. Every time I looked away, it felt like his face disappeared from my memories, and it scared me. By the excuse of looking at something behind him, I looked at him, looking at his girlfriend. I never once saw him looking back. But I knew he was uncomfortable seeing me there. Does he hate me that much? I can believe we were friends once.

I took a bite from the box in front of me. Finally, seeing what it was actually.

“You made mac and cheese?” in so many other thoughts in my head, I forget something important and put that thing in my mouth.

“Why? Didn’t you like it? It's pretty popular these days. I learned it from Instagram.” He explained how he cooked it, and I don’t think anyone was interested in knowing the recipe, but he continued.

“it’s great, but didn’t I tell you I am lactose intolerant?” I said.

“When did that happen?” Okay, he didn’t know. After I went on a strict diet, my body became intolerant to many food groups. I don’t know if it happens to everyone who loses weight or is it just me.  

“Long story, but I can’t eat it anymore. Just a paltry amount is fine, but not more than that.”

“Will you be fine? I mean you took two bites.”

“I'm sure a bite won’t make me sweat.” I passed him a smile to let him know it was fine.

“Guys I have to go now.” Gannon stood up and spoke. “I have some stuff to take care of.”

“This soon.”

“Yeah, see you, buddy.” And he went, goodbye-in us all.

After he went, Claire also excused herself and walked away. And now it was just me, Emmi, and the guy-I-don’t-want-to-be-around-with Caspian.

“Hey it's Grace, I'll be back.” He started walking to a girl surrounded by other girls at the end of the cafeteria. Maybe he is into popular girls now.

“Is that the girl?” I asked.

“Yes.” He walked away, nodding like a spring-fitted robot. He must like her a lot, to do something he doesn’t really do.