His Jaded Heart

2

Drew

Matapos kumain ay dumiretso na ako sa bathroom na katabi ng kuwarto ko para maligo. Wala akong ka-share sa banyo sa parteng iyon ng bahay naming. ‘Yong kuwarto kasi ni Kuya Bernard ay nasa bandang East wing, kagaya ng location ng kuwarto ng mga magulang namin.

Although I wished na sana may connecting door sa pagitan ng kuwarto ko at bathroom. Para ‘di na ako lumabas kapag kinakailangan kong gumamit ng banyo.

Halos kalahating oras din akong nagtanggal ng libag sa katawan. Nang maramdaman kong tao na ulit ako sa kalinisan, tinapos ko na ang paliligo at lumabas ng banyo.

Nasa pagsasara ng pinto ng banyo ang atensyon ko. Kung kaya't hindi ko napansin na hindi ako nag-iisa ng mga sandaling iyon. I immediately felt someone else's presence. And true enough, there he was. He was standing a few paces from me, rooted to his spot.

Si Troy.

Nailang akong bigla sa klase ng tinging ibinabato niya sa akin. I was only wrapped in a towel, damp hair plastered on my face and shoulders.

"What? Ngayon ka lang nakakita ng babaeng balot sa tuwalya?" tanong ko sa kanya.

My left hand rested on my hip while the other one clutches the front of the towel. Para mapagtakpan ang nararamdamang embarrassment ay nagkunwari akong hindi apektado.

Ipinilig ni Troy ang ulo. He seems to be shaking his self out of his trance.

"Of course not. I get to see my girlfriends way back with nothing on. Nagulat lang ako sa bigla mong pagsulpot."

"Sus. Bahay namin ito, and you know that's my room over there. So hindi imposibleng pakalat-kalat ako dito. Ano nga pala ang ginagawa mo at this part of the house?"

"Makikigamit sana ng banyo. The other two downstairs are occupied."

"Pati yung sa kuwarto ni Kuya?" taas ang kilay na tanong ko.

"Yeah."

Nagkibit balikat na lang ako at tinalikuran sya. I was about to turn the door knob nang magsalita uli siya.

"I have never known it is your habit, to be traipse around with nothing but a towel on. Don't do that again. "

I can't believe I am hearing this, much more from Troy. Pumihit ako paharap sa kanya.

"Excuse me? Since when did you become my father?" Kairita ha. Lecturan ba ako?

Nagulat na lang ako nang bigla niya akong lapitan, as in malapit na malapit. His face was only a few inches away from mine. Sa pagtatangka kong ilayo ang sarili sa kanya ay halos mag-merge na kami ng pinto sa likod ko. He had my chin between his thumb and forefinger, gripping it a little harder than necessary.

"Listen brat, and listen well. I have no desire to be your father or any of the sort. And don't talk to me in that tone. Hindi ko gustong pakalat-kalat ka sa bahay na ganyan lang ang suot. Baka kung sino pa makakita sayo. You're lucky it's just me. Do you understand?"

Uh-oh. Why is he going Neanderthal on me? Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin sa pagkabigla. Hinigpitan ko pa lalo ang pagkakahawak sa buhol ng tuwalya. Parang biglang lumuwag iyon.

"Did you hear me, Andrea?" he hissed, nagtatagis ang mga bagang.

Honestly, hindi ako makasagot because Troy is scaring me. Teka nga, bakit ba siya nagagalit?

My tongue and jaw seems to be not working kaya tumango na lang ako. Binitawan niya ang baba ko at humugot ng hininga. Then Troy stepped away from me much to my lung’s relief.

"Get dressed."

Iyon lang at tumalikod na siya para pumasok sa banyong kanina lang ay gamit ko.

What was that? Nasa andropausal stage na ba si Troy? Color me confused red. I swear he has a hidden switch somewhere. He can go from one mode into a totally different one in just a blink of an eye.

Kaysa ma-stress ka kakaisip Drew, magbihis ka na. Buti pa nga.

Dressed in a simple baby yellow tee and cardigan shorts, naabutan ko si Kuya Bernard na nag-iisa sa sala at nanonood ng TV. Tahimik na ang buong kabahayan. Nakauwi na siguro ang mga magugulo naming kaibigan.

"Where's everyone?" tanong ko kay Kuya. Tinabihan ko siya at inusyoso kung ano ang pinapanood.

"Mom and Dad went to the clubhouse. May homeowner's meeting daw. The guys went home to bathe."

Nakinood na rin ako sa pinapanood ni Kuya. Nasa kalagitnaan ang documentary sa National Geographic Channel nang maalala ko ang nangyari kanina with Troy. Nawe-weirduhan talaga ako sa kaniya. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganoon na lang ang reaction niya.

Dati nang masungit si Troy at hindi masalita. Pero kanina? Wow. He definitely raised the bar in being unpredictable. He went caveman in two seconds flat. As in Flintstones-era caveman.

"Kuya, can I ask you something?"

"Ano yun?"

"You've been asking me why I am not dating. Now I think I would like to try going out for some time. What do you think, sino sa mga boys ang ideal date?"

‘Yong biglang lingon ni Kuya Bernard sa akin. It was so sudden that it got me worried for his neck muscles and bones. Hindi ko mapigilang matawa.

"Why them?"

"Why not? I have known them since forever. One hundred percent, alam nating hindi sila salbahe kung sakaling mag-date kami. And it's not like pag nakipagdate ako sa isa sa kanila, eh automatic boyfriend na agad. Date pa lang ‘yon Kuya, wag ka OA."

"I know. Pero bakit bigla mo naisip yan?" Kunot ang noo ni Kuya Bernard.

"Wala lang. Out of the blue, nagka-idea ako. ‘Yon nga. So, what do you think? Conrad is a nice guy."

"’Wag si Conrad. Kakainin mo s’ya ng buhay."

"Sobra naman ‘to. Si Gene na lang kaya?"

"Makakalbo ka ‘pag si Gene naka-date mo sa dami ng nagkakandarapa sa lalaking iyon. Baka masabunutan ka ng mga babaeng makakakita sa inyo."

"What about Jeff?" Two down, two to go.

"Sisirain mo ang diskarte ni Jeff. Nililigawan niya si Kody di ba?" paalala ni Kuya.

Oo nga pala. Nakalimutan kong pinopormahan ni Jeff ang long time crush niyang si Kody.

"Alangan namang si Troy."

Napasimangot ako nang hindi sinasadya nang sumagi sa isip ko ang bestfriend ni Kuya. Nasa TV ang tingin ko kaya hindi ko nakita ang matamang pagtitig ni Kuya sa akin.

"Come to think of it. Si Troy na lang."

"Are you kidding me? Sa sungit niya, hindi ako mag-eenjoy sa date namin. Iba na lang. Marami sa school, ‘yong walang PMS. Talo pa ko sa mood swings eh."

"Masungit man si Troy, he's the best guy who could protect you."

"I don't need a bodyguard, what I need is a date."

That shut my brother up.

The following days went with a blur. The demands of school ate up most of my time. Nakakapaglaro pa naman ako ng basketball. ‘Yon nga lang, madalas kaysa hindi ay mag-isa ako. I had the chance to face Troy again after that towel incident. Pero parang walang nangyari dahil hindi na n’ya ‘yon binaggit. Hindi rin siya nagpakita ng indication na gusto niyang pag-usapan, which was fine by me.

In fact, I was relieved. I might as well consider it as a temporary lapse sa side ni Troy. He's still the same old Troy I had gotten used to. Protective, masungit, hindi masalita at matipid ngumiti. Slowly, bumalik sa dati ang lahat. ‘Yong Troy na kaya kong i-deal despite his attitude and short comings.

Heaven help me pero I was a little disturbed when I saw that side of Troy. And heaven help me more dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin in case mag-iba na naman ang nakasanayan ko sa kanya.  

Isang araw, sa clubhouse ako tumambay. Walang pasok ng araw na iyon dahil sa Intramurals. Dala ko ang kopya ng libro ng isa sa mga gawa ni Darynda Jones. Bigay iyon ni Troy sa akin noong nakaraang pasko. He got me the latest from the Charley Davidson Series.

I never had the time or chance to read it. Pero now, wala nang makakapigil pa sa akin. Pumili ako ng isang puwesto na medyo tago sa karamihan ng mga tao. Hindi ko kailangan ng distraction dahil nga magbabasa ako. Hindi ko masundan ang istorya kapag maraming distractions. Masasayang lang ang effort kung sakali.

Ayaw kong masayang ang libro. Gusto kong mapagtuunan ng one hundred percent undivided attention ang pagbabasa. Yes, I'm a few stops short from weird. Trip ko 'to, walang basagan. Kanya-kanyang trip tayo. Hindi rin kita papakialaman sa trip mo. Ayos? Good. Tara nang magbasa.

I was done with ten pages when I felt rather than saw someone shared the bench with me. Umusod ako nang kaunti para bigyan ng mas malaking space kung sino man ang tumabi sa akin. Nasa libro pa rin ang pansin ko, hindi ko mabitawan ang binabasa. Kaya dedma kung sino man siya.

"You're making me regret I gave you that book."

I lifted my eyes from the page that I was reading at nilingon ang may-ari ng boses. My eyes met two dark eyes, slightly thick eyebrows, unsmiling mouth and a beautiful face which oozes masculinity. Si Troy.

"Ikaw pala sungit. What are you doing here?"

"I’m bored."

"Ah ok."

Since hindi ko alam kung paano dudugtungan ang usapan, bumalik na lang ako sa pagbabasa. Hindi naman siya nagsalita ulit, nakaupo lang siya sa tabi ko. After another twenty pages, doon pa lang sya umimik.

"Dumidilim na. It's about time for you to go home."

Hayun. Nagsalita lang ang kumag dahil sinasabihan na naman ako kung ano ang dapat kong gawin. I closed the book at nilingon siya.

"Hobby mo talaga yan ‘no?"

"Ang alin?" tanong ni Troy.

"Gawing bantay ko ang sarili mo."

He just gave me a non-commital shrug. Nag-inat siya sa kinauupuan. He reminded me of a big graceful cat, sensuous and comfortable in his skin. Kulang na lang maghikab siya and he would perfect the picture of a panther waking up from his nap.

Gustuhin ko man o hindi, I was mesmerized while watching his lean arm muscles bunched here and there while stretching. Umangat nang kaunti ang t-shirt niya, and I was rewarded with a much better view. I caught a glimpse of his abs.

Wow. Just wow. I practically grew up with this guy. Kailan pa naging yummy itong si Troy? Granted, he always has been good-looking. Pero ano 'to?

Nakatayo na pala siya nang hindi ko namamalayan. I was busy talking to myself.

"Close your mouth brat. Medyo malamok na dito. Unless gusto mo maghapunan ng lamok?"

"Whaa---" Oh my god. Walang matinong salita ang lumabas sa bibig ko. Work tongue, work! Dammit. 

"Cat got your tongue?" And then he smirked.

Grrrr...why do you have to look so fine? Dapat pumapangit ka. It's unfair.

"Drew, it's getting dark. You should be home now instead of gaping at me. Mukha kang isda sa ayos mo. Get yourself together before I lose patience and haul your tush out of that bench. You don't want that, or do you?"

Image of him carrying on his threat made me warm all over. There's a tingling sensation creeping on my cheeks. Holy cow! I’m blushing? Hala.

Bago pa man maubos ang pasensya ni Troy, I decided not to push it. Napabilis tuloy ang pagtayo ko mula sa bench.

"Okay. I’m going home now." Sabay talikod.

"Where's the fire? I'll walk you home."

"No need. Umuwi ka na rin. Mas malayo ang bahay ninyo kaysa sa amin."

Please say yes.

"No."

Deym. Hindi ko na gusto ito.

Nagkaka-stampede na sa loob ng dibdib ko. Pumihit ako paharap sa kanya para sabihin na huwag na niyang ipilit. Hindi ko naman alam na nakasunod siya sa akin. Kaya nayanig ako, as in sobrang nabigla nang ma-realized kong wala pang halos isang metro layo namin sa isa’t isa. When and how did he come to be that close?

The things I was planning to say to him remained trapped inside my throat. Ni hindi ako nakapiyok when he invaded what was left of the space between our faces. Napaatras ako.

"I know you're going to argue with me. Don't even think about it. Kaysa magsayang tayo ng oras sa pagtatalo, why don't we start heading towards your place nang matapos na?"

"Okay," came my reply.

To my ears, it didn't seem to sound like I've spoken, it's more like a croak. Anon'g nangyayari? Kailan pa ako naging ganito ka-apektado sa proximity namin ni Troy?

He never dared to be this close before. Laging may distansya sa pagitan namin, and he was careful to keep it that way. Even though there were times I was chummy with him when he's in a good mood, he was never that close. Mind you, those times were a dime in a dozen.