Warmth and Safety

Chapter 6 Part 2

Watching him stiffen, she almost felt bad. Until she remembered he apparently needed the guilt trip. He was still acting like he was single, and he wasn’t. He wasn’t a bachelor; he was engaged.

He was engaged. She did like it when he flirted with her, but being told he just wanted to have fun before he got married at the end of the year had hurt her. Something in her chest hurt. She was almost angry, but that wasn’t the feeling. Was she heartbroken? Over a man who was practically a stranger?

She patiently watched him, waiting for his response.

He dipped his head. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He sighed, sitting next to her on the couch.

She raised her eyebrow now. “So, no more flirting?”

“I can’t guarantee that. I do like making you happy.” He smiled, quickly adding, “I will try to spend more time with Mari. But you must understand that who she spends her time with is entirely her choice. This isn’t the palace anymore. I’m not telling either of you how to spend your days.”

She shook her head, “No more flirting. It’s confusing and insulting.”

He c****d an eyebrow, “You just said you-.”

“I don’t care. I-.” She paused. She couldn’t figure out how to talk to him without encouraging him. Or having him argue with her.

How commonly gods had affairs drifted through her head for a moment, and she felt the pain in her chest intensify. She wasn’t going to be that.

He rubbed the small of her back again, and she glared at him. Retracting his hand, he asked, “What would make you more comfortable?”

“I don’t want to be-.” She sighed and shook her head, “I need you to take your role seriously.”

He regained his cool exterior that he had worn at the palace. She almost wanted to yell, but decided that this would be for the best.

Quietly, firmly, he said, “I’ll stop flirting, but I still refuse to force Mari into a situation she doesn’t want.” Before she could argue, he stood up. “You should get some sleep, Daniella.”

She wanted to argue, but her head pounded. Everyday with these gods seemed to be exhausting. “Fine.”

“Goodnight.” He said, before walking to his own door.

She pushed herself up and got into her room. Stripping out of her clothes, she headed to the shower.

The warm water rushed over her. Her breathing felt forced, labored. Bracing herself against the wall, she let herself cry. The pain in her chest only intensified, but she didn’t care. She’d never hurt like this, and she had nothing else she could do in this situation. She had no idea why this was affecting her so much anyway.

As the minutes passed, her body shook and her breathing only grew more haggard. The pain in her chest didn’t relent, but it quickly was overshadowed by the pain of crying. The heaviness in her chest finally overpowered the pain, and she tried to stop. Slumping down under the water, she could hardly breathe through the pain and the sobs.

Slowly, she returned to her senses. Trying to focus on the water, she washed her face, scrubbing at her eyes. As the water ran cold, she pulled herself up and turned it off. Shivering from the cold overpowered the shaking from crying, and she refocused on getting dressed and getting some sleep. She was probably just tired.

…

He couldn’t tell if she was angrier not knowing or if telling her would calm her down. Every part of him wanted to, but he couldn’t think of how to tell her.

A proud part of him was still happy and confused that she had admitted she liked being flirted with. So far, he’d been fairly benign in his affections. Being told this was too much had hurt.

But being reminded that he was supposed to be pursuing her friend hurt worse. He didn’t want Mari. He didn’t want to get in his brother’s way at all, not even for a platonic purpose. Infero had never been motivated to pull himself away from Deaton before this woman. He wanted him to be happier and healthier.

He hated the hurt in Daniella’s eyes though. He hated having to give back the distance he had claimed in the week. The idea of waiting to pursue this woman hurt him terribly. He’d never felt such impatience.

Hearing her shower start up, he jolted out of his head. He’d been staring at the same shirt she’d worn that first night.

Grabbing it, he headed to the washing machine. As he started it up, he stripped his clothes off into it. Bitterly, he tossed in the t-shirt she’d worn. Grabbing other clothes from his hamper, he finished starting the load of laundry.

A noise caught his attention as he started to leave the room. Focusing for a moment, his heart broke.

He’d made her cry. He had never wanted to hurt her. The desire to tell her flared up in him again, but he tampered it down. She was already confused and angry. What good would telling her that she and her friend were being used by a goddess as leverage actually do?

Despite the pain in his chest, anger flared up inside of him again. Delora was using Mari and Daniella to try to correct their behavior. He didn’t even know what behavior she wanted him to correct, if any. And because of this bullshit situation, Dani was crying in the shower.

He sat on his bed, trying to understand why they were doing this to her. Mari’s comments from the first night together cut through him again. He had a year to figure out what he was supposed to do. Infero had a year to figure his s**t out, and that worried him even more. Having to trust in his brother to get better was a gamble at best. His chest felt like it was burning, and he tried to tamper back his inner fire as best as he could.

It didn’t matter, he was upset, his magic was upset. His matched flame, the most dedicated woman he’d met so, was stuck in a situation that would essentially force her to disregard her training and her promises or keep her away from him. He felt useless, and his magic wanted to exert some control over the situation.

Laying down, he tried to focus on his breathing, on suppressing his fire. Several minutes passed, and he gave up and listened to the muffled sound of water running in Daniella’s bathroom. After several minutes, the sound ended. Part of him wanted to get up, go back to his closet, and make sure she wasn’t crying anymore.

Every part of him wanted to go comfort her, hold her against his chest, and promise her this was all temporary. He couldn’t. She was already upset with him for confusing her, that would be too much. His fire burned his chest again.

He remembered the look on her face when he’d reminded her he was engaged. Why had he done that? He could have just told her flirting was fun, kept the fun going later into the night.

Bitterness ran through him again. He was bitter about what he’d done, what had happened, what he wanted. None of those memories were helping him calm down. No way in which he ran it through his mind throughout the night did it make sense, did it seem like he could have avoided making her upset altogether, besides the one thing he didn’t want to do. If he could just ignore what he was feeling, he’d ignore her, just like part of her wanted him to do.

Part of her didn’t though. And that part was encouraging to him. Even if she was fighting that part, she’d admitted she liked being flirted with. He’d seen her staring at him before. It only tempted him to stop wearing shirts around the house. She liked his chest and abs, that’s where she lingered her gaze the longest. She wanted him, just like he wanted her.

She was loyal to this sacrifice though. He wanted to scream.

Burying his head in his pillows, he heaved an aggravated sigh. He laid still for about an hour, before he had finally calmed down enough to go to sleep.

Still bitter, before he drifted off to sleep, he thought about how much distance he’d put between him and the other gods to avoid drama just like this.

…

A loud noise from the living room woke him. Half conscious, he thought it was probably Mari and Infero getting home. He hoped at least they had had a good night.

The same noise sounded again, and he pulled himself out of bed. From the sounds of their moans, they were having a very good night. Quickly he went to his closet and put on some sweats. He didn’t want them to wake up Dani like that. It would only confuse her more.

Knocking on his own door, he heard laughter. Anger flowed through him, and he opened the door.

He stopped, rooted to his spot. This wasn’t real. He knew that the moment he saw the scene, but it didn’t matter. Jealousy coursed through him as he saw his brother bending Daniella’s slender form over his couch.

He forced himself awake, but not before he heard his Daniella laughing and moaning under the hands of another man.

Jolting upright, he was covered in sweat. He felt sick to his stomach. Quietly, he listened for noise in the living room.

Nothing. He sighed in relief before checking the clock. Pulling himself out of bed, he went and put on some pants.

Quietly, he opened his door. Infero and Mari were sleeping on his couch. He walked to Daniella’s room quietly. His heart was pounding in his ears, and he still felt nauseated.

Quietly opening the door, he watched her sleeping form alone in her bed. His heart rate calmed down. The panic and anger in his chest almost immediately subsided. It was quickly replaced with the desire to take her into his room though. Quickly replaced with the desire to hold her forever and not let Infero anywhere near her.

He closed the door slowly and tried to calm himself down. His brother had his own flame. Two of them, in fact.

The knowledge that his brother often slept with other women even around Deaton wove its way back into that narrative though and quickly destroyed the comfort he’d been building in himself. He pushed himself away from her door and turned around to see Mari.

The anger on her face subsided as she caught a glimpse of his face. Concern covered her face.

“What’s wrong with you?” She asked.

“I-. Just a nightmare. I just needed to make sure she was okay.” He shook his head, “She’s fine, still sleeping.”

She searched his face, but apparently satisfied with his answer moved around him to get back into her room. “Go back to sleep. You look horrible, you need some rest.”

She retreated into her room, and he sighed. Glancing over at the couch, he saw his brother staring at him, concerned as well. He trudged back to his room.

His brother interrupted him.

“Ig, are y-?”

Pulling his brother by the shoulder, he shoved him into his room.

“Are you attracted to Daniella?” He asked. Being so point-blank wasn’t like him, but he couldn’t help himself. The pounding in his chest needed to stop.

“Have you lost it?” His brother stared at him, mouth agape.

“Answer the question. I need to know.” He said. He could hear the desperation in his voice, but he couldn’t help it anymore.

“I’m not into Dani. You need to get a grip.” His brother responded.

Ignis almost laughed. Infero had straightened up and was trying to comfort him. How long had it been the reverse?

“I- I know. I just-.” He paused, debating on how much he should tell him. “I made her cry tonight, and then I had this f*****g awful nightmare that she went to you instead and-.” He closed his eyes and shook his head.

Infero shook his shoulder, “Come on, you know better. You’re still half asleep.” His brother gave him a once over. “You probably should go back to sleep. You look like s**t, Ignis.”

Shaking, exhausted, he nodded his head and slumped onto his bed.

His brother’s concern continued, “How did you make her cry anyway?”

Ignis stiffened. “I can’t help it. I just keep flirting with her. She’s still all about protecting the sacrifice system and I-.” He shook his head. “I can’t tell her it’s all bullshit. She’s so concerned for her friend, if she knew Aunt Lora was just stringing Mari around to fix us she’d be pissed.” He laid back, feeling some of his nausea subside. “She told me to stop flirting and focus on Mari and I told her I wasn’t going to force Mari to do anything she didn’t want to. And later, when she got in the shower, I heard her crying. I couldn’t even comfort her.”

His brother was quiet for a few more moments. “You should tell her the truth. I know sometimes you don’t want to hurt people, but keeping this from her is just going to hurt her.”

“I can’t hurt her again. I feel like s**t, Infero. And that dream-.” He felt himself shake.

His brother’s tone was firm, “If you don’t tell her, Mari probably will.”

“You already told Mari?” He asked, incredulous.

“She’s my partner. Unlike you, I know when I’m supposed to share things.” He said. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Partner already, huh?”

“Dani would already be yours, if you got your head out of your ass and talked to her.”

“Would she? Or would she pull a you and accuse me of colluding with Aunt Lora on this project for my own selfish benefit?” He threw back in his brother’s face.

“I’m trying to help you, dickhead.” His brother let out an aggravated sigh. “Daniella isn’t like Mari. She has the ability to leave any time she wants. So f*****g around and keeping s**t from her is a horrible f*****g plan. Regardless of how she reacts, if you spend all your time keeping s**t from her, she isn’t going to stick around, jackass.”

Ignis barked a laugh, “You’re right, she’s not like Mari. Which means if I tell her and she assumes the worst, I can’t force her to stay and hear me out.” He could feel the angry energy leaving his voice as he spoke. “She could just leave, without letting me fully explain.”

His brother groaned, “If you don’t-.” He shook his head again, “Tell her when you’re ready. If Mari tells her first, and you have to deal with that aftermath that’s on you. If there even is one,” He added, “she could just disappear one day while you’re at work.”

Terror gripped at Ignis’s chest. “Infero, don’t joke.”

“I’m not. They talk a lot while you’re at work. She could figure out you’re lying to her about being serious about your fake engagement to my flame and decide to go to the palace then and there.”

The pounding in his chest intensified, and he turned away from his brother. Moments passed, and his brother remained quiet. He couldn’t form a response though. She couldn’t leave, crying had already been too much.

“Sleep on it. I’ll talk to Mari and try to buy you some time.” Infero said, before walking out of his room and closing the door.

He pulled himself up in his bed. He couldn’t tell her. He had to tell her.

…

“He was kind of sick when we got in last night. He’s probably just resting.” Mari reassured her.

Daniella pulled her gaze away from Ignis’s door.

Worry had filled her when she’d noticed the other brother cooking. It was odd for Infero to make breakfast. The eggs were rubbery and the veggies hard. She missed the quiche at the palace.

Infero was humming and doing the dishes. He replied, “No need to worry about him, Dani. He’ll recover quickly. Us gods always do.”

She nodded, “I’m sure he’s fine.”

“We should see if he’ll let us go shopping today. He said you needed more clothes the other day, right?” Infero replied. “You only had uniforms at the palace.”

Mari gasped, excited, “You liked the open market before. They had a clothing section, let’s go back.” Her friend pleaded with her.

“On our own?” She asked.

“I’ll be there.” Infero said. “We’ll just need his card. I’m sure he’ll be fine giving it to you to go clothes shopping.”

“Besides, he said we could go to the market on our own.” Mari reminded her. “We could make a girl’s day of it.”

“I don’t think so.” Infero interjected, “The haggling at the market is rough sometimes. They see two pretty ladies who don’t have any experience with it and they’ll snow you every time. I’ll go with you, and you ladies can go to dinner afterward for your girl’s night.”

Mari shot him a playful look and an eyeroll. “I guess that’s fine.”

Infero’s phone rang. His smile faded when he looked at the machine, but he quickly silenced it and returned to smiling at Mari. “If I may suggest a few good dinner places that are close by.”

“That him again?” Mari asked, annoyed.

Daniella turned to look at her friend. Her odd behavior was unexpected. “Who?”

“It was Deaton.” Infero nodded, “I’m trying to avoid alcohol for a few days. He’s not really used to me avoiding him though.”

“I guess gods don’t do that often.” Mari said, dismissively. “He should have a full roster of other people to bother.”

“I used to be his matched flame.” Infero responded, “Losing that is incredibly painful. I don’t know why some people would even risk it. Wish he cared before the fates made their correction.” He finished bitterly.

“Matched flames, huh?” Daniella asked, “I can’t see that being a permanent thing anyway. Wouldn’t the fates need to change that whenever a god changed too much?”

“Pessimistic, much?” Mari poked her friend’s side, “What about your matched flame? Do you want him to change whenever they need you to change?”

Infero cleared his throat, “Since Dani doesn’t know who her matched flame is yet, she might not be as attached.”

Mari looked at him confused. She looked back at Ignis’s door. “Nells, go get ready. We’re gonna go get that card to go shopping. I think we could use some new shoes too.” She added.

“Alright.” Daniella stood up, confused. She glanced at Infero, who shook his head and pointed to her room.

“It won’t take us but a second.” He said.

Going back to her room, she opened her friend’s wardrobe, and began looking for her shirt. When some of the awkwardness from yesterday subsided, she decided she’d ask Ignis for her own wardrobe.

As she began to change, she could hear yelling. Something had happened to upset Mari. Quickly pulling her shirt over her head, she made her way into the main room again.

Moving to the other side of the room, she heard the yelling stop. She hesitated for a second, but made her way up to Ignis’s door and knocked.

Mari opened the door a crack. Quickly, she asked, “Yes?”

“Is everything okay? I heard yelling.” She tried to peek around her friend, but the room was dark.

She peered behind her, annoyed. “Oh, everything is fine. I’m just yelling because some people don’t know how to communicate their problems before they’re really sick. We could have helped if we’d known about this sooner.”

“We can stay today. Does Ignis need help?”

“No, I’m fine.” He called out. “I’m just a bit overworked. Tired is all.”

Daniella hesitated, concern rushing through her again. He sounded awful.

“Yeah, he wants us to go shopping. That way he can relax more. Rest and think.” Mari pushed her further out of the room. “Infero will get the card for us. New shoes to walk around in were a good idea.”

Backing out of Mari’s way, Daniella got more of a glimpse into the room, but could see Ignis. Worry flared up in her chest.

“Are we sure he’s okay?”

Infero joined them outside the room, “He’s fine. Like he said, he’s just a bit overworked. Needs the time to think about how he’s going to approach some things.” He waved the card. “Let’s give him some space.”

“A new purse would probably be nice too, don’t you think?” Mari added. “I think it would help when we get phones.”

Infero stopped, “You don’t already have phones.”

“The palace never saw a need. We weren’t allowed to leave anyways.” Daniella responded.

“Okay,” Infero glanced back at his brother’s door and sighed, “new plan. Phones first, and then everything else.”

“For real?” Mari pouted. “The clothes seem like they’ll be faster.”

“Considering how few clothes she has, no I don’t think so.” He shook his head, “Either way, we have to go to a specific store for the phones anyway. We’ll have to add you to his plan. I’m sure Ignis wants to make sure you can call him if you need to.”

“He has a landline,” Daniella responded, “so if he’s at work, we can just call on that. We can’t go further than the market without one of you anyways.”

“Yeah, trouble can strike around the market, too.” Infero argued, “And you need to be able to contact us. Come on, this is going to be a bit of a further walk.”

As he led them to the elevator, Daniella glanced back at Ignis’s door one more time.