The Gazels

Chapter 6

They both knew what was coming next.

“Why do you think I’ve held on this long?” Danvan’s burst of passion-fueled vigor was fading, and Damion felt, like a shiver in his bones, the brittleness of his grandfather’s failing strength. “I should have retired as Regent long ago. I would have if there had been someone to take my place.”

Stung, Damion shot back, “What more do you want of me? I stayed on elsha. I pledged myself to Carmen and to our world.” I’m only one man! There’s only so much I can give, or I will end an empty husk!

“Yes, you have behaved with honor,” Danvan admitted. His voice lost some of its urgency. “No one questions that. You have stepped forward, at great cost to yourself, when a crisis demanded it.”

Damion sat back, surprised by his grandfather’s concession.

“But . . .” Danvan picked up his argument, “you have not fulfilled the one duty that only you, as Heir to Carmen, can perform—to give our caste, our world, our people the leadership to take them safely into the future. Look around you! As you yourself pointed out numerous times, the council are all but gone, a few noble families here and there clinging to the shards of the past. We no longer meet in Council to decide crucial issues and provide guidance. The Towers have never interested themselves in anything beyond their own walls, and now they have to contend with training any ruffian with a trace of power.”

Thanks to your Telepath Council, Danvan meant.

Damion gritted his teeth. If the old tyrant insisted on pushing his point to its conclusion, let him be the one to do it.

The charred end of a log broke off and tumbled into the bed of ashes, sending up a tiny spark. The mote of brilliance flared and died.

“Damion, my lad, we both know what you must do,” Danvan said, his voice now hoarse with emotion.

No. Did he speak aloud, or only in his heart?

I will not become king. I have never wanted that kind of power.

“You are the only one with the true right.” Danvan shifted to smooth persuasion born from deeply-held belief. “Not even if Aldones himself wished it could we place an Elhalyn on the throne. Your claim is legitimate, since your mother was King Stefan’s only sister. Not even the most hidebound conservatives will oppose you. Rather, they will gladly unite behind you. How can you not see how they need—they yearn— for one voice to bring them together, to speak for elsha?”

“If they are so eager for a leader,” Damion said hotly, “let them choose one themselves!”

Danvan snorted and made a rude, dismissive gesture. “Bah! piantsan notions of democracy have no place here. elsha needs continuation, stability, and, above all, a solution in accord with our own ancient traditions.”

He paused, visibly regaining his poise. “It must be you, Damion. There is no other. And it must be soon, so that you are prepared to counter this new attempt to destroy everything we hold precious and honorable.”

Damion wished his pulse were not rampaging so insistently. He did not want to wound his grandfather’s pride. He searched for a way to tell the truth and yet not be needlessly cruel.

“I will—” never agree to be king “—consider what you have said. There may be other options, ones better suited for elsha as it is now, rather than as it has been in the past.”

“Do not take too long,” Danvan paused, as if formulating another argument. Then his thin shoulders lifted, his vision cleared, and he went on, “While you are considering, give some thought to the necessity of a consort.” He raised his voice as Damion began to protest. “Yes, we have been over the reasons why you refuse to take a proper wife.”

Near the end of his tolerance, Damion broke in. “And you have not listened to a word I have said on the subject! I have told you more than once that when I actually meet the woman I can accept as a wife, I want to be free to marry her!” He paused, then plunged on. “Not even you, sir, can accuse me of not doing my duty in providing the Domain with an heir. Between naming Mikhail as my son and—” with a glance at Dan, who had once resented the times Damion had brought himself to have an affair with some woman eager to bear a Carmen child, “and fathering nedestro children, I have more than fulfilled my obligations!”

Danvan glared at him, then subsided. “I cannot fault you on that. Mikhail is a fine lad, and you are training him well. But as king, you require a lady at your side. You need not marry her di catenas. A consort will suffice.”

Damion was about to retort that there was no functional difference. He would be saddled with the woman, no matter what her title. Still, it was a remarkable concession for his grandfather to make.

In all truth, he admitted to himself, he had once thought that in Linnea Storn he had met a woman with whom he could spend the rest of his life. Dan, surprisingly, had liked her. In the end, the intense flurry of emotional intimacy, fostered by the events surrounding the gathering of telepaths for the new council, had died down. They had parted amicably.

Damion rose, unwilling to pursue the conversation any farther. He bowed to his grandfather, assuring him that he would give the subject of a wife or consort equal consideration with that of the throne, and departed.

With Dan following close behind, Damion strode down the corridor and through the arched entrance to the stairs. He slowed his pace only when they were well beyond the Castle gates.

Damion recalled Dan’s words on one of the many past occasions when his grandfather had been pressuring him.

“Damion, you are Heir to Carmen and all the burden that comes with it. I would lighten it for you if I could, but no man alive can do that. You yourself would not have it otherwise.”

“You lighten it with your understanding,” Damion had replied, “so that I need not face the future alone.”

The old sympathy began to weave itself between them, closer than words, the telepathic bond of power, of sworn brotherhood, and more.

Damion felt the coming of night, the swift veil of crimson-edged darkness that swept across the unseen sky like a vast hush of wings. The earth itself shifted, drawing into itself for the long, lightless cold. Throughout the city, candles and rush torches cast pools of fragile light while above the galactic arm stretched in milky glory across the heavens. Mormallor rose, shimmering in pearly light, followed by mauve Idriel.

This, he thought, this will endure. He knew in the fearful recesses of his mind that it might not. Among those points of brilliance, men plotted and schemed, men with knives and blasters and weapons far more dreadful, men with poisons to leave soil and ocean barren, to warp the very nature of living cells, to steal the will and crush the hope of his people.

The bedroom fire had died down, its embers glowing like molten gems, then drifting into ashes with a sound that was softer than a maiden’s sigh.

Dan, who had fallen silent and watchful, reached out to touch Damion on the back of one wrist, a telepath’s butterfly-light touch.

Come to bed, beloved. Tomorrow’s sorrows will still be there in the morning.

Damion met the other man’s gaze. In the psychic rapport catalyzed by touch, he felt as if there were no barriers between them. His heart was joined to Dan’s, as it had been for so many years. They both understood, without the need for speech, that one reason Damion had chosen to remain in this house was that here they might find a modicum of privacy. The love between men was not shameful by Darkovan standards, but their constancy in the face of Damion’ refusal to marry made both of them targets for scandal and censure.

They also knew that if the issue of Federation membership was as urgent as they feared, Damion would have to take up his formal position as Regent, as Carmen of Carmen. In order to rule effectively, with all the influence of his position, he must move to his quarters in council Castle, and there they must comport themselves as lord and paxman.

Damion had filled the bedroom with family treasures from Castle Carmen. The bedframe of wood glossy and black with age, the Ardcarran carpet underfoot, the lamps of Shainsa filigree work, the panels of

translucent blue stone, all created a haven. The room smelled of leather and spice and love.

They turned to one another with a desperate passion, as if they could lose themselves and all their cares in it.

Long into the night, Damion lay awake in a tumble of bedclothes. Dan curled on his side, facing away, one shoulder bare. Damion grasped the comforter to cover him. As he moved, Dan made a small, strangled sound. Damion drew back, for it had been many years since Dan had cried out in his sleep from the old nightmares. He had learned not to ask, just as Dan respected his own moments of tortured reflection. Some wounds were best left alone. But what, he wondered, had come back to haunt them now?

3

Heart pounding, Damion jerked awake. Footsteps sounded outside his bedchamber door, not the clatter of heels, but muffled, as if the wearer had no desire to announce his arrival. Darkness shrouded the chamber, and the air was still and heavy. The mattress still bore the faint imprint of Dan’s body, but it it was cold. Such a time, Damion thought, invited despair.

He shook himself free of the dregs of sleep and reached out with his power. Immediately, he sensed Dan’s presence. The door swung open with only the mildest of creaking. The flickering light of a taper shone on Dan’s face. Shadows etched hollows around his eyes, but the slightly haunted look was not all illusion. He wore his ordinary working clothes, a dagger at his belt. Damion ached for him, for whatever old wound had been touched during the night.

Dan glided to the bedstand and touched the taper to the candle there. “I’m sorry to disturb you, vai dom, but there is an urgent matter requiring your attention.”

“Meaning something you cannot fend off by yourself?” Damion winced at his own dark mood. His anger was not toward Dan but toward whatever had so disturbed Dan’s sleep that he should be up and dressed—and armed—at this hour.

The second source of irritation was Dan’s use of the honorific, the shift from lover and equal to loyal paxman.

“What is it?” Damion asked, more gently.

“A messenger from the Legate.”

“It’s not yet dawn. Couldn’t it wait until a decent hour?”

“Apparently not.”

“Forgive me, I’m in a beastly mood. You have done nothing to displease me.” Damion reached out for the bond between them, heart and mind and body’s sated need.

And if I should displease you?

“Zandrua’s frozen hells, Dan! What does that mean? Look, I don’t want to quarrel with you. If I can’t rely on you, you of all people—to whom can I turn?”

Dan drew a breath, almost disguising how his voice trembled. “I will be here at your side as long . . . as long as you want me.” When Damion reached out a hand to him, he shifted to avoid the touch.

Damion cursed silently, not caring if Dan sensed his thoughts. It’s that dream, or the Federation, or old memories. Whatever it is, I won’t let it come between us!

“All right, I’ll see the messenger in the downstairs parlor.” Damion pulled on a dressing robe and shoved his feet into fleece-lined house boots. “I’ll be down in a minute. Make sure the man has something hot to drink.”