I’ll Find My Way Back

Started out with a kiss

As I pull into the driveway of the “house,” I’ll use that term lightly as this place could easily accommodate 10 people. I’ll never understand why my father felt the need to have my stay here instead of the dorms. The driveway is elegantly paved and wraps around a gigantic fountain. The house has intricate designs and details into the wood of the wrap around porch. The main door is huge and jet black, opening into a foyer that has a ceiling going all the way up to the roof. It’s beautiful but this is definitely too much.

I call my dad and ask him “why such a big place for just me?”

“We already own it so you might as well make the most of it” he chuckles, I can hear his full cheeks raising into a smile through the phone.

“I’ll be there around 4pm for dinner, wear something nice, Henry is coming with me” he says before hanging up the phone.

Now this is really TOO much. Why would he bring Henry without even asking me before hand.. I’ve drove most of the night to get here this morning.. and all I can think about is just running back home to Jo. I should have listened to him. I should have just left and never looked back.. but instead I’m here and trapped like a rat. Albeit a rat in a mansion, but a rat nonetheless. This is nonsense..

My mind is going a million miles per hour when I hear a knock on the door. I definitely am not in any kind of mood for surprise visitors.

I slowly open the door and before I can even gather my senses it swings open. I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest and tears start to fall onto my cheeks from all of this, all at once.

“Get ahold of yourself Kat, you look like you’re about to get mugged.”

I look up and with a mixed emotions of grief, happiness, confusion, and even anger, I let out a sign of relief. It’s Josiah. IT’S JOSIAH?!

“What?! How? What are you doing here??” “How did you get here?” I stammer still trying to gain my senses.

He smiles at me with the smile that always just makes me melt. “Your location honey, how else? I couldn’t let you go off to college alone, we might even have some of the same classes” he chimes.

But my father will be here, more than likely unannounced, and Henry.. I’ve not even told Josiah about me being betrothed.. I have no idea what this is going to cause.. but the same classes? When did he even apply?

I’m practically speechless and he smiles at me again, but I know he is sensing something is wrong.

“Jo, dad is coming up here sometime today.. and he’s bringing Henry with him.. I don’t know when but they have been arranging a marriage between us.” I can feel each word stinging my throat as I say them, as if I have inhaled lava and the heat isn’t going out.

Josiah says nothing, but turns and looks at me. The disgust is sinking into his face and his happy self is fading into something I’ve never seen from him before. Hollow. His eyes look at me as if I’ve leached every ounce of life out of his soul from the sentence.

“I haven’t known long, he just called me right before you got here” I stammer, trying to reconcile any kind of trust.. it’s not an entire falsehood, I really didn’t know Henry would be coming here today. As for the marriage.. please don’t ask me about the marriage.. “I see, and how long has this “arrangement” been in the works” Josiah fires in a mocking tone. He never takes tones like this with me.. “I, I don’t..” I can’t even finish my sentence before the door flings open.

My life as I know it is never going to be the same.

My father’s voice fills my ears before I can even realize what is even going on. “Katrina, I had no idea you’d be having guests over already!” He says as he pats Josiah in between his shoulder blades, almost hard enough to knock the wind out of most people. If Josiah was more of an average build it may have been forceful enough to knock the wind out of him. I spin around to face my father, bewildered by his timing, and praying to God Henry isn’t with him.

But there he is. I barely even recognize him at all, the only thing that hasn’t changed is his jet black hair and his bright blue eyes. “Long time, no see Trina!” Henry chimes, shifting his eyes towards Josiah. Josiah looks at me vaguely. And I can’t help but think, why on earth is he calling me Trina? No one has called me that other than my grandfather, and Josiah knows this, even he doesn’t call me Trina..

Before I can even respond to anyone Henry grabs my face with one hand and places his other on the small of my back. That’s when it happened and no I know my world is crashing all around me. He kissed me. I twist out of his entanglement around me, pushed my arms up around my face. “What on earth are you doing?!” I screamed. But why didn’t I move away when he grabbed my face. Why would he kiss me in front of my father? And Josiah???

“Katrina, that’s no way to treat your betrothed, now is it?” My father mumbles. I can’t even look at him, I especially can’t look at Jo.. why is my life like this.. and why do I not actually feel revolted by Henry’s kiss?

“Father I have not agreed to anything and you know this, I don’t know what you two have discussed but I have had no part in this” I snap back, I can feel my blood rushing to my face, the look of total utter embarrassment feeling my face. “I believe I’ll see myself out” Josiah says as he keeps his gaze from looking at anyone other than Henry.

“Nonsense, you might as well stay for dinner too since you’re already here, besides I need to get to know all of Trina’s friends anyway” Henry says. “Such a thoughtful suggestion my boy!” My father says.

“No really, I have somewhere I need to be” Jo says, and before I can say anything else he’s already out the door. I quite literally feel like this is a fever dream that I can’t move out of. Why did he kiss me?