Chapter 4
1105 Words
Amara's POV
Last period of the day is gym class.
This is my least favorite class.
I am by no means athletic. Barely coordinated.
And the school has t-shirts and shorts for the uniform. I was so uncomfortable with wearing it.
I hid in the bathroom stall to throw the t-shirt over my shirt and changed into the shorts. There was no way in hell I was going to change in the locker room where other girls would see my body. I didn't need anyone talking about my body.
After gathering enough courage, I pulled myself out of the stall and head into the gym.
Of course, Rafael was standing there with his friends, joking around. I just can't seem to escape him. It has been the whole day of seeing him and it has been hell.
"What a loser," I heard some snickering coming from a group of girls. I can feel all their eyes on me.
I begin to feel so awkward and want to disappear. As if God was listen to my silent prayer, the gym teacher walked out of his office.
"Alright, alright, alright. Let's get this class going," The teacher says as he walked towards us.
"You know the drill, 8 laps around the gym," he said as he is looking at his clipboard.
"Yes coach," the group chorused before everyone set off to the side of the gym to begin running.
I was slow and it wasn't long before I knew the group would be passing by me.
"Hey loser," I hear Rafael run up beside me. He seemed to be the fastest as he was leading the group.
I don't acknowledge him and just keep running.
"You know it's rude to ignore someone when they are talking," he says. I still do not pay him any heed.
"You better watch out there," I see him pointing to the ground and I follow his finger.
That was the wrong move. I must have tripped over something and I come crashing down to the floor.
I hear laughing from everyone as they pass by me. I am too stunned to move.
"Hey kid," Coach came up to my side. "You alright there?" He asked as he started to reach a hand down to help me.
I instinctively yelp a bit before I scurried away to stand up on my own. He has a confused look on his face before it softens.
"I'm sorry," he says softly. "I- um- maybe you should go to the nurses office to get that looked at." He pointed down at my legs.
I follow his finger down and saw a cut running along my leg. I feel my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. I'm not even sure what I tripped over.
I simply nod my head and hurried off before the group can make their way back around again.
I made my way to the nurses' office that was in the front with the other admin offices.
The nurse took me to the bed and took out the supplies. She moved to start to clean my wound before I interjected.
"I can do that," I told her. I can see the nurse wanting to protest but she remained quiet. I clean up the wound and put a bandage over it.
Now I just need my pants back on so that my mom doesn't find out. If she knew, she would move me back so fast.
*****
"How was your first day of school. Amara?" My therapist, Dr. Jones, asked me. We made sure to schedule an appointment for after school the first day so that we can debrief on how I felt about the day. I was in my room on video since Dr. Jones' office was a bit too far to get to and we wanted me to maintain consistency with therapy.
"It was... a day," I answered. I'm not entirely sure what to really answer her.
"Did your friends welcome you back?" She pressed further.
"Not exactly," I replied sheepishly.
"What happened?" She asked.
"Most just pointed and whispered, whether I knew them or not. But my best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, he threatened me." I tell her. I pull out my necklace and start to fidget with it.
"You never mentioned a best friend before," I see her take down some notes.
"Oh, well, it was from before we moved. Him and I were inseparable growing up. We would have sleep-overs and spend whole days together." I filled her in on some things.
"So what happened? Why aren't you friend anymore?" She asked.
"I honestly don't know." I began to tell her. "I just know we upped and left. I thought he would be upset without a goodbye and going no contact. But today he told me that I made his life hell, as if there was something more going on. He told me he was going to return the favor."
"Do you think this has anything to do with what you are repressing?" She asked.
"I don't think so. I trust Rafael and trust that he would never hurt me. He had such a sweet side to him when we were younger. I don't think that could just go away. But I have never seen him this angry. Makes me want to reach out to him, but I don't know if I have any right to do so." I tell her.
"Do you feel safe right now?" Dr. Jones asked.
"I-I," I begin to stumble. I don't know what is going on in Rafael's mind. Is it all just innocent bullying to "break" me?
"I can see you hesitating there," she said observantly. "I wouldn't normally advise this but I think you should listen to what your gut is saying. If you think that he is not going to cause you any injury, then you should be fine. But I do worry about you. We have made some progress since you began here a few years ago. I hate to see that go to waste by a boy."
"I know." I tell her. "But we agreed I came back for a reason. I guess as long as we have our sessions, I should be able to get through this."
"If you are so sure, then I hope you are right." she said. "I will have you down on my list for emergency appointments. It might not necessarily be with me but in a pinch, having someone to talk to same day may be good for you."
Now let's just hope I can get through this year.
- Writer
